How to Turn Your Life Around After Depression

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: October 30, 2022 References Approved

Depression can really change the way you look at life. You may have lost relationships, jobs, direction, hobbies, your health, dreams and goals, and your self-confidence. After a depressive episode you can get your life back by: setting attainable goals, increasing your positive social relationships, maintaining your physical health, and coping in healthy ways.

Things You Should Know

Create positive goals to focus on regarding your career, your priorities, your hobbies, and anything that makes you feel proud of yourself.
Improve your overall quality of life by reaching out to a professional therapist, reconnecting with friends, exercising regularly, and joining a support group.
To reduce the risk of recurring depression, focus on challenging negative self-talk, encouraging positivity and positive self-talk, and enjoying activities that make you feel great.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Setting Goals

1
Identify your priorities in life. Goal-setting is an important component of reducing the likelihood of future depression. In order to create positive goals for yourself, you may first need to identify your values or priorities. The deep desires of your heart tell you what will make your life happy.
- Make a list of your values or things that are important to you in life. These might include: family, friends, employment, love, money, and a home.
- Think of things you've done in the past that you enjoyed and try to figure out how to incorporate those things into your life. Ever had a moment that you wished would never end? Those are the moments you can focus on in your life. This may be times with your partner, kids, close friends, time spent on things you are good at or enjoy (camping, writing, art, music, etc.).
2
Consider career opportunities. What you choose to do with your life in terms of occupation can have an immense effect on your well-being. After all, you may spend 40 hours or more per week focused on your career.
- If your old job didn't work for you, try something else. It’s all experience and can help you to grow.
- Do you want to get a new job soon or later in the future? Think about what kind of occupation you can handle, will be rewarding and enjoyable for you.
- Be patient. If you don't get a job straight away, think of things that would improve your chances. Do some volunteer work, take a short course or earn some extra qualifications; this can do wonders for your self-esteem and your resume.
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3
Recognize positive activities to set as goals. When you are recovering from depression it may be hard to break the habit of inactivity and get back into the swing of things. However, staying active and busy can help reduce the likelihood that your depressive symptoms will return.
- Focus on tasks or responsibilities that need to be completed. For example, you could: wash the car, cook a good meal, mow the lawn, pay a bill, go shopping, clean the house, do some studying, take care of a pet, tend your garden, the list goes on and on. When you do little things like these it may help you feel more capable over time, and boost your confidence and self-esteem.
- Think about what makes you feel good about yourself and be proud of yourself. Make a list and do one thing on it every day. For example, some positive activities that might result in an increase in self-esteem include: sending someone a card, playing with your kids, giving money to charity, volunteering, getting involved in good causes, getting your hair done, planting a tree, running an errand for your elderly neighbor, or calling a friend you know is having a hard time. When it is done, pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself on a job well done.
4
Make a comprehensive list of goals on which you can focus. Once you have identified your priorities and specific activities you want to increase, you can write down a list of these goals. They can be as big or small as you like.
- Make sure each goal is a SMART goal, meaning it is: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-limited.^{[1]
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  Research source} An example of a SMART goals would be to exercise three times per week by running for one hour, for the next month.
- One option is to create a goal or activity hierarchy of 15 items. List the activities from simplest to most difficult. Start by completing the easier goal first, then working your way up to the most difficult goal. A small and easy goal might be to walk your dog, while a large goal would be to get a promotion or a new job.
- Congratulate yourself on each tiny step you make forward. Reward yourself through positive reinforcement when you make progress on a particular goal. Treat yourself to a spa day, massage, special dinner, or something else you enjoy (that is safe and not drug or alcohol related).
5
Evaluate your progress and makes changes accordingly. Goals are meant to be constantly evolving. For each goal you complete, you can begin to form new and more advanced goals. If you find that a goal isn’t working for you, or you change your mind about it, change it to what you think will be more helpful.
- Keep track of your daily activities and goals in a calendar.^{[2]
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  Research source} This can help keep you on track and increase your ability to remember important goals and tasks.
- Once you complete a goal, make a new one! For example, if your first goal was to lose ten lbs. and now you want to lose a few more, focus on that. Or, if you wanted to exercise more but got stuck in a boring routine of going to the gym, make a goal to go hiking or running outdoors.
- Try to think positively, even when you experience a setback. Say things to yourself such as, “I had a setback but I will learn from it and do better next time. I know I can do this!” Write this mantra down and say it to yourself daily if that helps you.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Increasing Positive Relationships

1
Get professional support. When you are recovering from depression it is especially important to get professional help in order to help ensure that the gloomy mood does not return, or that it is less severe if it does. Thus, if you have already been attending treatment continue working on your treatment plan.
- If you already have a therapist, discuss new goals that you’d like to work on. Make sure you follow through and continue attending your appointments.
- If you don’t have a therapist to help treat your depression, try it. This can be useful even if you aren’t currently feeling depressed. A therapist or psychologist can help you reduce the likelihood of worsening depression by using specific interventions, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which help to change your thinking to promote lasting well-being.^{[3]
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- Continue seeing your psychiatrist and taking medication as prescribed.
- Talk to a medical doctor about your health, diet, and exercise.
2
Seek help if an addiction is affecting your life. Addiction can worsen the symptoms of depression, making recovery difficult.^{[4]
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Research source} Whether it be substances, food, gambling, shopping, self-harm, sex, or eating disorders, you can get specialized addiction counseling. It may be necessary to treat the depression and addiction simultaneously, as depression and addiction are often closely linked.^{[5]
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- One way to seek help is to speak with your medical doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist. They can give you a referral for chemical dependency treatment. Some therapists even specialize in drug treatment. You can participate in outpatient treatment or inpatient treatment (drug rehab).
- You can also seek help by joining a 12-step group such as Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A) or Narcotics Anonymous (N.A).
- Recovery from any addiction takes time, but it will be worth it in the end and will help to support your overall health and reduce your depression.
3
Reconnect. Sometimes during a bout of depression people can lose contact with important friends, family members, and other interpersonal relationships. However, social support is so important to maintaining a depression-free lifestyle, reducing the likelihood that depression will re-occur, and bouncing back from difficult life situations.^{[6]
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- Send an email, text, card or letter asking how your friend is doing. Focus on the positive things you're doing in your life, and ask questions.
- Phone a friend and invite her to meet up for lunch or a coffee.
4
Join a support group. Social support, especially support from others that are in your same position, can be extremely useful in recovering from depression and continuing to maintain a healthy outlook.^{[7]
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5
Make new friends. After a depression you may feel well enough to cultivate new relationships, especially if you have discarded damaging or unproductive friendships. By doing the things you are interested in, you may be able to meet people with the same interests and similar personalities.
- Join a church, club, sport team, community college, neighborhood center class, charity, etc.
- Try Meetup.com, which is a useful website for finding groups of like-minded people with similar interests. Some examples include: singles groups, hiking groups, acting troupes, and rock-climbing enthusiasts.
- Can't find the right group or club? You can start your own! Try starting a book club. Spread the word amongst friends and acquaintances, put ads up at local libraries, and ask everyone to bring a small plate to share. Or, you could start a fitness club and meet at a park and pay for a personal trainer, splitting the cost between the group.
- Whenever you receive a social invitation, try to say yes. The more times you say yes, the more invites you might receive. Also, for every time a friend invites you to do something, invite them to something the following week. This keeps the balance equal and you both feel valued.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Maintaining Your Physical Health

1
Treat medical problems. Sometimes depression can be related to medical issues, including hyperthyroidism, Parkinson's disease, or Huntington's disease.^{[8]
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Research source} It may also be a side effect of medication. If the depression isn’t caused by your medical condition, your condition may still affect your mood if you are feeling ill and thinking negatively. It is difficult to be positive when you are in pain or physically ill.
- Meet with your doctor regularly if you have chronic medical issues.
- If you notice an increase in depression coincides with a new medication or other medical treatment, consult your doctor.
- Take all of your prescribed medication for medical concerns. It may take a while to find the right one for you. When you start feeling better, keep taking your medication as this may help maintain your health.
2
Focus on activities of daily living (ADLs). With depression it may be difficult to keep up with daily tasks such as bathing, cleaning, and general self-maintenance (i.e. washing your face or brushing your teeth).^{[9]
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Research source} Once you have successfully overcome the depression you can begin to get back your basic routine. Taking care of yourself can help you feel better about yourself overall and reduce the likelihood that the depression returns. For example, when you stay in your pajamas all day, it’s unlikely that you'll feel like leaving the house and doing something. However, if you take a long shower or bath, take care of your hair and makeup, pick out clothes you feel good in, you may feel much stronger and able to cope with the day.
- Make a list of things you can do for self-maintenance. This list might include: washing clothes, shopping for new clothes, washing your hair, getting a hair-cut or style.
3
Exercise. Exercise can help prevent and reduce symptoms of depression.^{[10]
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Research source}^{[11]
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Research source} As difficult as it is to put those sneakers on and tie the laces, after you have worked out you may feel ten times better both emotionally due to endorphins that are released in your brain.
- Start off with a ten minute walk, and build up to 20. Doing that as often as possible may do wonders for you.
- If you have trouble getting up the motivation to exercise, try telling yourself, "I'll feel better when it’s done." Or commit to just doing five to ten minutes on an exercise bike or treadmill. Sometimes you just need to get over the initial challenge of getting up and moving, and after ten minutes you may feel like running for ten more.
- If you're after something more challenging, you will feel the endorphins bringing that "high" after a run, gym class, or other aerobic exercise.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Coping Effectively to Reduce Recurrent Depression

1
Positively regulate your emotions. Studies suggest that people who have a history of depression may be more likely to use emotional regulation that actually keeps them depressed. This type of emotional regulation is associated with using negative coping strategies (such as drinking alcohol to excess) which increases depression instead of reducing it.
- Avoid rumination. When you ruminate, you replay a negative situation again and again in your mind. While you may be replaying a situation to try and pinpoint what, exactly, went wrong, ruminating tends to only intensify negative feelings and offers little insight. Instead, try asking yourself: "What, if anything, can I change?" Make a list of small, manageable goals that address things that are within your power to change. It may also help to disrupt the thoughts if you go for a walk or exercise.
2
Catch negative thoughts and change them. Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time. However, the more negative thoughts you have, the more depressed you may feel. This is because our thinking has much to do with how we feel. Instead of believing negative self-talk, you can learn to challenge them and develop positive thinking habits.
- Think of your thoughts as hypotheses or fleeting ideas instead of as facts. If you have a negative thought such as, “This situation is terrible. I hate it,” question your perception of the situation. This is called cognitive reappraisal. Is it all that bad? Is it really so terrible or can you try to cope with it? It is possible that you can change the way you think about it or find a way to help it be better? Tell yourself, “It isn’t so bad. It sucks, but I can deal with it.”
3
Use positive self-talk. Individuals who suffer from depression may get into the habit of self-loathing or negative self-talk. Some examples include thinking, “I’m not good enough. I’m a failure. I’m stupid.” If you have similar negative thoughts, these will most likely lead to negative emotions. In order to combat this thinking you can use positive affirmations.^{[12]
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- An example of a positive affirmation is thinking, “I’m doing the best I can and it’s good enough for me. It doesn’t need to be good enough for someone else.”
4
Engage in activities that make you feel happy. Leisure and pleasure are an important part of having a positive sense of well-being. Being active can increase your ability to cope with stressful or depressing life events.^{[14]
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- Make a list of pleasurable activities and schedule them in each day. For example you could plan to: watch a movie, read a book, eat a favorite food, go for a walk, take a bubble bath, go to a library or museum, go window shopping, buy fresh flowers, get a beauty treatment or your hair done, or go out to dinner.
5
Focus on the positive. Sometimes individuals with a history of depression have difficulty focusing on the positive aspects of their lives. Yet, your ability to focus on positive thoughts and activities can increase your positive emotions and decrease depressed mood.^{[15]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
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- One way to focus on the positive is to keep a pleasurable events journal with either photos or writing. It can just be a few sentences about one thing that was good that happened that day, or a photo of one thing you found interesting or pretty.
- Focusing on the positive also has to do with choosing appropriate activities that are going to increase your positive mood. For example, select appropriate viewing material; if you are feeling sad- don't watch the news, or a sad movie. This is just not helpful for people who are already tending to dwell on the negative things of life, it only adds fuel to the fire. So, turn off the news and read a positive and uplifting book. Or, flick straight to the sport section of the paper or the comics.

Warnings

If you are currently having thoughts of self-injury or suicide, please call 911 or call/text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 in the US.

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