How to Be Bold

Co-authored by Sandra Possing

Last Updated: February 21, 2022 References Approved

Is your self-confidence dwindling? Maybe you're just tired and frustrated of waiting around for something good to happen. The wait is over. Practice having a bold confident mindset, create opportunities for yourself, and learn how to get what you want.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Acting Bold

1
Stop hesitating and take action. Is there something you've been wanting or trying to do, but can't seem to get the courage up? Whether it's asking an acquaintance out for a drink, apologizing to a loved one after a long period of misunderstanding, or simply being friendly to a co-worker, stop thinking about acting and actually do something. Taking the first small step towards trying something new can give you the energy to keep going.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.}
- Boldness is the opposite of hesitation. Whenever you're feeling hesitant in interactions with others, or in making a decision for yourself, learn to swallow your pride and make the first move.
2
Do the unexpected. Bold people aren't afraid of trying new things, and one of the reasons they're so exciting to be around is that they keep you guessing. This could be something new for you, like salsa dancing or learning to water ski.^{[2]
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Research source} Whatever you do, be sure to do it for yourself, not other people.
- Doing something new and unexpected might make you vulnerable or afraid. Don't give in to those feelings. Instead, accept the newness of the skill and don't be afraid to be yourself.^{[3]
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3
Rediscover who you are. Ultimately, boldness has to do with understanding your strengths and weaknesses, then moving beyond them. Don't try to hide your problems or failures, but accept them as part of you. This will allow you to confidently move forward, appreciating your uniqueness.^{[4]
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- It will be easier to find things you're passionate about if you stop worrying about the "right" thing to do. Instead, give yourself permission to be honest and curious about what you do and don't enjoy.^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Sandra Possing
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.}
- Realize that you don't have to do random, uncharacteristic things to discover who you are. Avoid making any uncharacteristic changes just to shock people. Be honest with yourself.
4
Pretend you're already bold. If you were to switch places with somebody you admire for their assertiveness and boldness, what would they do in your shoes? If you already know someone who's bold, imagine how they'd act.
- Your bold inspiration doesn't have to be real. You could even think of a character from a movie or book who's daring and brave. Then, imagine their boldness in your life.
5
Be willing to say no. If someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, refuse. Saying "No" will reinvigorate your individuality and help you to feel bold, ensuring that you're ready and willing to go out and get what you want. Don't feel like you have to make up an excuse or explanation. People will have to learn to respect your honesty and boldness, and you'll be getting what you want.^{[6]
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- Realize that if you do commit to doing something, you should follow through. Your sense of self-respect will grow, as will other people's respect for you.^{[7]
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Follow through on your plans.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.} It's not enough to simply say you're going to do something, you actually have to do it or people think of you as a flake. When your word is good and you follow through with actions, people will trust you and look upon you as a bold, reliable, complicated person.^{[9]
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- If you agreed to do something you really don't wish to do, you should probably just follow through with it because you gave your word. Next time, remember to say no and assert yourself.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Getting What You Want

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Ask for what you want. Rather than waiting to be recognized for your efforts, or expecting someone to consider your needs, step up and ask. This doesn't mean you should demand what you want or be aggressive. Instead, confidently and tactfully choose your words.^{[10]
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- Don't confuse being bold with being aggressive. Aggressiveness often involves imposing your viewpoints or actions on others. Boldness has nothing to do with the people around you. It's about overcoming your fears and taking action.
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Negotiate. The phrase "What can you do for me?" is an easy and powerful way to throw the onus of responsibility back on the person you're negotiating with. Even if the initial answer is "no," keep the window of opportunity open as long as possible to give them an opportunity to change their mind.
- Plan out counter-offers before you start negotiating. If you think your boss will reject your request for time off because there's no one to fill your place, say you'll double-up a shift when you get back, or that you'll complete tasks remotely when you have free time.
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Offer two choices. One of the best ways to get what you want is to simplify the number of solutions to a given problem. This ensures you'll get what you want.
- Even if there are an unlimited number of possibilities for a given problem, limit them to the solutions that work for you. This will cut down on the amount of hassle that goes into the solution and ensure that the outcome is what you want.
4
Take risks and create opportunities. There's a difference between being reckless and accepting risks. Reckless people don't accept risks because they don't even think about them. A bold person, on the other hand, has learned about the risks, and decided to go through with the decision anyway, ready and willing to accept the consequences if things don't work out.^{[11]
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- Inaction or hesitation is often a kind of risk, because you're risking missing an opportunity. This is a risk to avoid, however. Your goal is to create your best chance of success, not whittle away at your window of opportunity. When you've made the choice to act, do it without fear.
5
Ask questions. There's nothing bold about blundering into a situation you're ignorant about and not listening to advice. If you're unclear about an assignment or about a topic at work or school, boldness is being willing to admit that you're confused and asking for clarification.
- Don't be afraid to take the bold step of getting help. If someone is unhelpful, find another person. This persistence to find the answers shows boldness on your part.
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Accept any outcome. While there's power in taking on something new or trying to get what you want, there's also the chance you may fail. Embrace the failure. It's not the opposite of success, it's a necessary component. Without the risk of failure, you don't have the opportunity for success.^{[12]
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- Don't worry about rejection. This requires some emotional detachment from the outcome. Don't let a rejection destroy your self-confidence and ability to be bold.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How can I be less critical of myself?

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on mindset and leadership transformation. Sandra received her coaching training from The Coaches Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a BA in Anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.

Sandra Possing

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Most people are trained to view themselves from other people's perspectives. I would encourage you to turn that on its head and try to earn harness love and validation from within yourself. Realize that accomplishments and outside approval will never define your self-worth.