How to Be Your Own Hero

Being your own hero is about rising to the occasion and being the best you can be. Striving toward being a hero in your own life means living with purpose and conviction, helping others, and being a leader (most superheroes have side-kicks, henchmen, fans, or followers). You can learn to be your own hero by improving yourself and developing hero-like qualities, setting and achieving goals, and helping others.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Developing Heroic Qualities

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    Enhance your integrity. Think of a personal hero--real, fictional, dead or alive. What are the qualities you look up to in this person? If you don't have one, you can create one based on the qualities you most admire in people or would love to possess. Chances are that this hero you have in mind will have integrity. Being a credible hero is about being trustworthy, and having strong moral values (sense of right and wrong).[1]
    • Be honest. Integrity is also about being honest. Communicate your feelings and thoughts respectfully and assertively. This means not being afraid to say how you feel. Use "I statements" such as, "I feel ____, when you ____." For example, you might say, "I feel angry when you hurt other people."
    • Follow through. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Otherwise, don't make false promises if you aren't sure if you can follow through. Heroes are people that we can count on. They are dependable and consistent.
    • Know your moral values. Identify your ethics and what you believe in to increase moral responsibility.[2] Write a list of your moral values. For example, you might believe in freedom, equality, justice, and free speech.
    • Identify what you disagree with and write these down. For example, you might be against: murder, stealing, harming yourself, harming others, cheating, and violence.
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    Be courageous. Courage is another strong value of a hero. Being courageous means having independence, facing your fears, and being willing to take risks.[3] [4]
    • Have the bravery and courage needed to face your fears instead of avoiding them. Choose personal growth over safety (the desire to feel comfortable). If you feel uncomfortable in a situation such as public speaking, all the more reason to cultivate this skill. Once your face your fear you may realize that it wasn't so bad or scary after all.
    • Remember that having courage is not about doing risky things and putting yourself in unsafe situations. Always put safety first.
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    Look on the bright side. Heroes do not dwell on the negative because if they did they would not have enough energy to save people and fight the bad guys. Heroes believe in themselves and think they can go up against anyone at any time. Positive thinking can increase self-esteem and overall life satisfaction.[5] You are going to need that positive outlook and optimism to be a confident hero in your life.
    • Stop complaining and start living! When you find yourself getting down about the current situation, do something to get your mind off of it. Try taking a walk, taking deep breaths, or focusing on a task.
    • Develop a positive mantra.[6] Heroes tend to have slogans or words to live by. Some examples of superhero slogans include, “I’m the best there is at what I do" (Wolverine) and “With great power comes great responsibility" (Spiderman).
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    Acknowledge your weaknesses. Self-awareness is an important component of being a good hero. Being your own hero is not about feigning a false image of yourself to the world or becoming a narcissist without true integrity. Being your own hero is about knowing your strengths as well as your downfalls. Even Superman was weak to kryptonite.
    • Take personal responsibility for your part. Admit your mistakes and don’t blame your situation on others. Apologize when you need to.
    • Identify solutions and learn from your mistakes.[7] Consider some situations in life (school, work, family) you think could have gone better. Next, play out these scenes as your hero. How would a hero have acted in the same situations? What would a hero have said or done?
    • Instead of focusing too much on your flaws, pay attention to what you can improve upon. Look at these mistakes or weaknesses as areas of personal growth.[8] Tell yourself something like, "I am continually growing and developing. I am open to improving myself through new experiences."
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    Regulate your emotions. Heroes are calm in the face of danger. If you find yourself getting upset try stopping yourself and taking a step back from the situation.
    • Think before you act.[9] Stop and take a breath if that helps you. Observe your thoughts and feelings.
    • Practice coping resources that work for you. Some examples include: exercising, talking with a friend, writing in a journal, and meditating.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Setting and Achieving Heroic Goals

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    Get motivated. Motivation is one of the secrets to being a good hero. Without motivation to be your own hero, you wouldn't be reading this right now. Motivation is what keeps us productive and focused on achieving our unique goals and aspirations. Heroes must stay motivated in order to have the strength and perseverance to continue on.
    • Start by identifying your core values.[10] What is important to you in life? Do you value family, friends, your job, the government? These values can help motivate you toward positive change. Focus on making a difference in each component of your life such as increasing your connection with your family and friends.
    • Motivate yourself through positive affirmations. For example, when you are feeling unmotivated you can tell yourself or think, "I can do this. I am capable of achieving anything I put my mind to. I have done it before and I can do it again. I rock!"
    • Another good way to motivate yourself is to give yourself rewards when you accomplish something.[11] Reward increase positive behaviors. You can give yourself candy, your favorite meal, or time to play a game. Make sure it is something you really want and can look forward to.
    • Expect success. Those who expect to succeed and trust in their own abilities are more motivated to press on when things get tough. Think positive thoughts such as, "I know I can do this. It may be tough but I will keep going and focus on achieving my goal. It will be worth it in the end."
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    Take control. Know what you can control and what you can’t.[12] People that believe they have control over the outcomes of their lives are more resilient in the face of challenges.[13] Heroes need to be able to bounce back from adversity. Know that you have the power to change yourself and your life.[14]
    • For example, you may not be able to control how tall you are, but you can control how you think and feel about your height (positively). Turn these negatives into positives by focusing on how unique and special you are.
    • Practice being your own hero. To begin with, simply consider the qualities of the hero you want to be and act some out in private. Get into the hero mindset by assuming a confident posture (shoulders back, stand up tall), and striding in a strong manner.
    • Use visualization and your imagination. Visualization (like playing a video in your head), or guided imagery, can help people make positive changes including increasing positive mood and health, while decreasing stress.[15] [16] Close your eyes and envision yourself as the hero or person you wish to be. What does it feel like? What sounds do you hear? What surrounds you? What needed to happen for you to get there?
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    Create positive goals. Identify your superpower; do you want to be super intelligent, super strong, or help others? What do you want to be? Ask yourself, what do I want to accomplish in life?[17]
    • Make a list of goals you want to accomplish in 1 month, 6 months, and 1 year. Make sure you identify why you want to accomplish each goal. Ask yourself, “Who or what am I doing this for? How will it help?”[18] This helps create purpose and meaning in life, which enhances your motivation.
    • You can create a specific plan and timeline for each goal. What do you need to focus on to achieve each goal? For example, perhaps you want to help others get on their feet when they are struggling and you are giving yourself 6 months to complete this goal; this would be your overarching goal. In order to complete this goal your first steps might be to: research organizations that help the needy, look for companies that are looking for volunteers or employees, call organizations to inquire about programs, prepare a resume, apply to positions that seem like a good fit, prepare for interviews, and interview at organizations.
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    Take action and challenge yourself. Heroes are busy people, they are focused on changing themselves and the world! Focus on ways you can constantly grow and improve yourself; this can increase your sense of well-being and assist you in becoming the best hero you can be.[19]
    • Change things about yourself that you think reduce your ability to be your own hero. For example, your vision of a hero might be someone who is in top physical shape. If this is the case, try a powerful exercise such a martial arts (Taekwondo, Karate, Muay Thai Kickboxing).
    • Make a list of personal self-improvement goals. Include things like: lose 10 lbs, exercise 3 times per week, eat healthy 5 days per week, read a book 3 days per week, meditate 3 times per week, and spend time in nature 1 time per week.
    • Some additional positive characteristics to strive toward include: compassion, cooperation, ambition, dependability, competency, loyalty, and wisdom.
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    Persevere. Life as a hero is full of obstacles, so in order to reach your heroic goals you have to never give up! Give your full 100% effort.
    • Using your problem-solving skills can help you persevere.[20] If there is an issue, or something is overwhelming, try to come up with a solution; it may be to take a break, or to reanalyze your goals or values.
    • If you feel like quitting, remind yourself of your values, and your overarching goals this year.
    • Remember that heroes never give up, they keep fighting until the end. You can tell yourself, “I will never give up. This is so difficult, but I know I can do this!”
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Helping Others

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    Inspire and motivate others. Positive relationships are crucial to having a sense of calm, stability, and well-being.[21] To be a leader or a hero in your own life you must be able to inspire and motivate others to be the people they want to be.[22] [23]
    • Focus on building others up. Give compliments readily. Let others know you appreciate them for what they do. For example, if your friend helped you volunteer you could say, "I really appreciate that you volunteered at the homeless shelter with me. It shows that you are willing to help not only me, but others in the community. You also did a great job; I noticed how comforting and understanding you were."
    • Be positive when others are struggling. Tell them that you believe in them and you are willing to help if they need a hand. You could say something like, "I know you are having a hard time and it is understandable. I want you to know that I am here for you. I believe in you and I know you can get through this."
    • Provide direction and a listening hear for others if they seek it. However, avoid telling people what to do in their personal lives (relationships, etc.) as this may backfire. Instead, ask them questions, be interested and validate of their feelings.
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    Serve others. A hero's life is about service to others rather than financial or social gain. Empathy is a crucial component to being a hero. Heroes care about others and want to help them. Take Superman for example; he did not want fame but was focused on helping others– he even had a disguise (Clark Kent) so he could lead a normal life.
    • If you have the resources, you can donate goods, money, or services to organizations that help those in need.
    • One option is to help the needy by volunteering at a local food bank or homeless shelter.
    • When you see someone struggling, don't ignore them, ask them about themselves and provide any support that you feel comfortable with.
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    Be a positive role model. People often learn through social interactions and observation. Setting a positive example for others is a great way to become a hero for others as well as yourself.[24]
    • Show others that you stand up for what you believe in. If someone is being mistreated, say something, do something, intervene. Just make sure you are safe and do not put yourself in risky situations.
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    Get support. There is power in numbers. Much like the Avengers, sometimes superheroes need to get together to fight for what they believe in or to overcome a great obstacle. In order to help others, we first need to help ourselves by having the support we need to cope with the demands of being a hero.
    • Join a group of like-minded people. For example, if you are passionate about exercise and health you could join a fitness center, or get together a group of friends to join you on weekly hikes.
    • Meetup.com is a website for forming groups of people with similar interest such as: rock-climbing, biking, beach-cleanup, parenting, helping the homeless, and volunteering.
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    What does it mean to be a hero?
    Guy Reichard
    Guy Reichard
    Executive Life Coach
    Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.
    Guy Reichard
    Guy Reichard
    Executive Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    The word "hero" comes from the Greek word "heros," which literally translates to "protector" and "defender." So that's really the best way to think about it; a hero is anyone who protects and defends those they care about!
  • Question
    How do you become a hero on your own without knowing what I'm good at?
    Guy Reichard
    Guy Reichard
    Executive Life Coach
    Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.
    Guy Reichard
    Guy Reichard
    Executive Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Recognize your own self-worth and value. You can't help other people if you don't see your own intrinsic value. Don't sit around waiting for people to tell you what you're good at, you have to be true to yourself and figure it out on your own. Take action and be the best advocate for yourself.
  • Question
    What does it mean to be the hero of your own story?
    Guy Reichard
    Guy Reichard
    Executive Life Coach
    Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.
    Guy Reichard
    Guy Reichard
    Executive Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Everyone is on their own Hero's Journey. We have these stories that we relate to, and they help us identify the values and beliefs that we want to see in ourselves. All of this ties together to inform our understanding of our journey.
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References

  1. ↑ http://videoplus.vo.llnwd.net/o23/digitalsuccess/SUCCESS%20Book%20Summaries/2012%20September%20SBS/PDFs/Credibility.pdf
  2. ↑ http://hub.hku.hk/bitstream/10722/54293/2/59228.pdf?accept=1
  3. ↑ https://lemosandcrane.co.uk/resources/RISE%20psychological%20wellbeing%20in%20adulthood.pdf
  4. ↑ https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=ifEVvFvPVTkC&oi=fnd&pg=PR7&dq=values+courage&ots=k_S7ijlNiJ&sig=42oxO-F_Iupd2IgcED-ukKnpbuA#v=onepage&q=values%20courage&f=false
  5. ↑ http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Patrizia_Steca/publication/232476987_Affective_and_Social_Self-Regulatory_Efficacy_Beliefs_as_Determinants_of_Positive_Thinking_and_Happiness/links/546b1e010cf20dedafd3ef3b.pdf
  6. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/PositiveAffirmations.pdf
  7. ↑ http://www.researchgate.net/profile/George_Bonanno/publication/8909498_Loss_trauma_and_human_resilience_have_we_underestimated_the_human_capacity_to_thrive_after_extremely_aversive_events/links/0deec5337810d114ee000000.pdf
  8. ↑ https://lemosandcrane.co.uk/resources/RISE%20psychological%20wellbeing%20in%20adulthood.pdf
  9. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/STOPPworksheet.pdf
  1. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/IncreasingMotivation.pdf
  2. ↑ http://e.guigon.free.fr/rsc/article/BijleveldEtAl10.pdf
  3. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/BeyondControl.pdf
  4. ↑ http://www.researchgate.net/profile/George_Bonanno/publication/8909498_Loss_trauma_and_human_resilience_have_we_underestimated_the_human_capacity_to_thrive_after_extremely_aversive_events/links/0deec5337810d114ee000000.pdf
  5. ↑ Guy Reichard. Executive Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 March 2020.
  6. ↑ http://www.biomedcentral.com/1472-6882/5/21/
  7. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/ImagerySelfHelp.pdf
  8. ↑ Guy Reichard. Executive Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 March 2020.
  9. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/IncreasingMotivation.pdf
  10. ↑ https://lemosandcrane.co.uk/resources/RISE%20psychological%20wellbeing%20in%20adulthood.pdf
  11. ↑ http://homepages.uwp.edu/crooker/745-resile/articles/Masten-2001.pdf
  12. ↑ https://lemosandcrane.co.uk/resources/RISE%20psychological%20wellbeing%20in%20adulthood.pdf
  13. ↑ http://videoplus.vo.llnwd.net/o23/digitalsuccess/SUCCESS%20Book%20Summaries/2012%20September%20SBS/PDFs/Credibility.pdf
  14. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/IncreasingMotivation.pdf
  15. ↑ http://videoplus.vo.llnwd.net/o23/digitalsuccess/SUCCESS%20Book%20Summaries/2012%20September%20SBS/PDFs/Credibility.pdf
  16. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero's_journey

About This Article

Guy Reichard
Co-authored by:
Guy Reichard
Executive Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Guy Reichard. Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000. This article has been viewed 105,406 times.
14 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 20
Updated: May 5, 2022
Views: 105,406
Categories: Featured Articles | Courage
Article SummaryX

If you want to be your own hero, work on being courageous by facing your fears and being willing to take risks. Stay calm, even when you don't feel it, and try to think before you act so you can make the best decisions possible. Also, create positive goals for yourself and stay motivated as you work to achieve them. Look on the bright side, even when things don't go your way, and don't let minor set backs slow you down! It's also important to be strong for other people. When you see someone struggling, be sympathetic and do what you can to help them. For tips on maintaining a positive outlook, read on!

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