How to Be Nice and Cheerful

Co-authored by Tami Claytor

Last Updated: April 15, 2022 References

Have you ever thought how great it would be to be cheerful all the time, and for people to think you were really nice? All you have to do is smile, stay positive, and keep your emotions in check if you get angry or are just having a bad day. It takes a little practice, but soon enough, you'll be radiating kindness and good cheer everywhere you go.

Steps

1
Smile, and be positive. Being positive will help you stay happy, even if you are having a bad day.^{[1]
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Research source} A smile improves your outlook, and makes people think of you as a confident and happy person. Smiling at people also helps them feel good about themselves!^{[2]
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Research source} Besides, nobody likes a person who bores them with his own problems.
2
Strike up a conversation. Don't be afraid to talk to people. Introduce yourself, and then ask them about their day. Don't just talk about yourself throughout the whole conversation. Ask them questions about their interests and who they are.^{[3]
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Research source}
- Make an effort to smile and make eye contact when you're first meeting someone.^{[4]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
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3
Express your opinions. Don't be afraid to put forward your opinions even if they contradict those of the person you are talking to, but make sure to be civil. A good way to express a contradicting opinion is to start by saying "Yes, you are right when you say that, but I feel that..." Don't agree with people just so that they will like you - nobody likes a clone. People will like you for having your own thoughts and opinions, especially if they are mature and expressed in such a manner. Of course, don't say something that might offend people, especially if they feel strongly about the subject.^{[5]
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Research source}
4
Never backbite. Backbiting about people only makes you look bad to the people you backbite to. You lose any confidence people may have in you. Also, if you make sure to speak about people only in front of them, you are most likely to speak in a civil manner and avoid saying anything very offensive. Bear in mind that whatever you say about people behind their backs will reach them - and when it does, it will be worse than if you had expressed your thoughts in a civil manner in front of them.^{[6]
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Research source}
5
Smile at strangers when you meet them, be it the shopkeeper, the mail carrier, or the people with you in the elevator. Don't smile strangely: just a small smile will make them think you are nice.^{[7]
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Research source}
6
Don't lose your temper. Be patient with people, even if it is hard.^{[8]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} If you feel very angry about something, sit if you are standing, and lie down if you are sitting. Drink a glass of water - preferably cold. If this does not help, wash your face.^{[9]
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Trustworthy Source
American Academy of Dermatology
Professional organization made of over 20,000 certified dermatologists
Go to source}Breathing slowly also helps control anger.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}
- Many angry outbursts can be avoided if you deal with irritation as it arises. Expressing that some things irritate or upset you is better than bottling it up.
- For example, be patient and courteous if you're waiting behind an elderly person in line, even if they're taking a while to get organized.^{[11]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
7
Be courteous even to your enemies. This will make people think of you as a person with self-control, and create respect for you. If you are nice to everybody, no matter how mean they are, nobody will have any reason to hate you. Being nice to your enemies will also drive them mad!
8
Be nice to people who are not "cool". Don't just be nice to popular people. Being nice to people whom others consider losers or geeks will help create an image of you as a genuinely kind and friendly person.
9
Be fun to talk to! Don't drone on boringly about something; be more exciting and interesting when you talk. Include little jokes and funny stories in conversations and never be boring when talking to someone.^{[12]
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Research source}
10
Don't worry about what people think. As long as you are being yourself, that's fine! There will always be people who don't like you, and you should learn to ignore them and get on with your life!^{[13]
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Research source}
11
Remove yourself. If you find yourself in a bad situation with someone, just remove yourself. Obviously, it is rude to ignore or avoid someone, but just try to reasonably distance yourself from the situation.^{[14]
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Trustworthy Source
Association for Psychological Science
Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences
Go to source}

Warnings

Don't act fake. If you feel offended about something that somebody had done, tell it to them! (be nice when you are doing that).

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Don't overuse swear words, as people will think that you are uncivilized. If other people say them to you, just take it as a joke. Try to laugh or smile; that will make people think that you are a very lovable person.

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