How to Be Really Sexy with Your Boyfriend

Co-authored by Elle Monus

Last Updated: December 11, 2022 Approved

Wanting to kick things up a notch and be extra sexy for your boyfriend? Being sexy isn't hard once you know what men really like, and we've got all the juicy details. Keep reading for all kinds of steamy, sexy moves that no man can resist. Give these a whirl the next time you're with your boyfriend, and he won't be able to keep his hands off of you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Be Yourself

1
Know your limits. While being sexy can help add spice to your relationship, it's important to know when you've had enough. Here are some signs that you should cut back:
- If you're feeling sad or depressed. There will be days when you ask your boyfriend for a hankie instead of some hanky-panky. If you're feeling so upset that you can barely function, know that it's okay to put sexy time on hold. If your boyfriend knows and loves you, he'll understand.
- If you're just not in the mood. There will be days when nothing you do will make you have that lovin' feeling, and that's okay too. Forced sexiness is worse than taking a time out for "me time" instead of "sexy time."
- If his actions make you feel uncomfortable. If you think he's taking your romance too far, it's time to back off. If you notice that you're feeling uncomfortable a lot, then it may be time to end the relationship.
2
Know your man's limits. Though it may seem impossible that there will be a time when your boyfriend isn't in the mood, accept that he's human and may not be feeling so sexy. Here are some signs that he may not be in the mood for your sexy moves:
- If he's tired or sick. If he looks physically unable to have sexy time, chances are, he doesn't want it. If he'd rather hit the hay instead of have a roll in the hay, don't force him to do anything he doesn't want. He may feel guilty for not being up for your advances, which will only make everyone feel worse.
- If he's stressed out. Though sex can be a stress reliever, if your man is so worried about his new job that he can't focus on you, give him some alone time.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Act Sexy

1
Be bold. Bold and sexy are close cousins. You can't be sexy if you're afraid try do anything wild or out of your comfort zone. To be sexy with your boyfriend, you can try being bold in the following ways:
- If you're talking to him on the phone, surprise him with casual dirty talk. He'll be surprised--and turned on--by your sudden sexy mood.
- Take risks. Try an adventurous food, go sky diving, or go mountain climbing. This will make you a more open--and more sexy--person.
- Be open about what you want. If you're really in the mood for something, telling him what you crave. He'll respect you for sharing your true feelings and will be turned on in the process.^{[1]
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- Be bold, but know when to strike. Surprising your boyfriend with something sexy is a plus, but trying to get it on when he has a bad cold or just isn't in the mood is a big no no. Before you go in for the kill, ask yourself if your boyfriend is really in the mood for what you have to offer.
2
Be spontaneous. Some of the most sexy times you have with your boyfriend will be totally unplanned. Leave room for sexiness any time in your life, even if you're just having an ordinary dinner or watching a television show. Here are some ways to be spontaneously sexy:
- If you're feeling sexy, take the initiative. Even if you're not in the middle of a sexy activity, let your man know by kissing or touching him in a subtle way. And if subtlety fails, try for some dirty talk to let him know what's on the table. He'll be more than just pleasantly surprised.
- When he comes home from work, turn off all the lights, pull the shades, and lay naked on his desk. When he turns the lights on he will get a real surprise. However, do not do this unless you plan on further sexual activities. A guy is not going to be surprised by a naked girlfriend on his desk and then just walk away to read the newspaper.
- Surprise him in public. Though you don't have to go for it in the back of your car or some untoward place, a special touch or kiss at the right time can show him that you're ready for more. And if you're isolated and not offending anyone, you make time for romance.
- Remember that a good soldier is always prepared for battle. Be ready for sexy time--any time. Try to keep your legs shaved, your skin washed, and your breath nice and minty as often as you can so you'll be ready to get it on.
3
Remind him of how sexy you are when he's not around. You can be sexy with your boyfriend even when he's on the other side of the country. If you two are sexy while he's away, he'll be even more eager to return. Here are some ways to keep it sexy when he's far away:
- If he is out of town, arrange a video chat with him. At some point during your conversation start doing a striptease. Don't take off too much too soon. Keep it a tease.
- Send him sexy--but tasteful--text messages at night.^{[2]
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- Give him a sexy picture to take with him, so he can be reminded of what he's missing.
4
Show off your sexy body. Even when you're not in the bedroom, your boyfriend should be thinking of what your body has to offer. Here are some ways to be sexy without having sex:
- Walk in a sexy way that emphasizes your derrière or your cleavage.
- Take him hiking or do another physical activity where you can really strut your stuff. He'll feel sexy just by looking at your body.
- Dancing can be very erotic. Perhaps learn to belly dance or strip tease; this type of dancing will give you sexy poise and irresistible body confidence.
5
Have sexy food. There's a reason that "food" rhymes with "nude." The right meal can go a long way in helping you be sexy with your boyfriend.
- Bake for him. Make your boyfriend something sweet like a cake, a muffin, or cookies, and then feed it to him in the nude. Your nudity will no doubt lead to further activities.
- Give him chocolate. Kiss him while putting it into his mouth. Afterward, simply walk away without saying anything. He will surely follow.
6
Tell him how sexy he is. Don't be so busy acting sexy that you forget that your man is sexy, too. Reinforce this by simply telling him exactly how sexy or manly he is.
7
Leave him wanting more. Don't throw your appetizer, main course, and dessert on the table at once or your boyfriend will have a stomach ache. Instead, be subtle with your sexiness without throwing it all on the table. Here are some ways to leave him wanting more:
- Don't move right into sex after a makeout session. Let him linger over your body so his passion builds.
- Don't have sex with him every time he wants to--unless you're in the mood, of course. Instead, be sexy when you're feeling right.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Look Sexy

1
Have a sexy face. In spite of what you may think, your face really is the first thing your boyfriend notices, so keep up a sexy appearance and the rest will follow.
- If you feel comfortable wearing makeup, put on just enough to give your eyes a smoky look and your lips a nice luscious tint.
- Give your boyfriend sexy glances. Just the look in your eyes can let him know how you really feel about him.
2
Wear underwear that makes you feel and look sexy. Knowing that you have it on can make you feel sexy, or showing your man a hint of what you have planned for later can make him excited for the rest of your night. Some sexy items include:
- A thong, lacy underwear, a push up bra, pearls, a corset, knee-high socks, or spandex.
- Avoid any uncomfortable fabrics that can lead to chafing, which is the opposite of sexy.
3
Keep it simple. You don't need to always wear designer thongs or teddies. As long as you wear something out of the norm that shows more skin, your man will think it's sexy that you're wearing it for his benefit.
- Don't wear anything so elaborate that it will be impossible to remove. This may lead to frustration and other mishaps in the bedroom.
4
Look provocative--not trashy. If your clothes are revealing more than they're hiding, your boyfriend will be embarrassed to be seen with you instead of turned on.
- Make sure your dresses and skirts are like a good story--short enough to keep things interesting, but long enough to cover everything.
- It's good to show a little cleavage, but not so much that most of your chest is exposed.
- Showing a little bit of bra strap can be sexy, but exposing your entire bra is too much.
- You can wear jeans with heels for your first date.
- Pair a blouse with trendy jeans and wear a heel.
- Romantic patterns like soft florals or sensual fabrics like lace or sheer can enhance the look.
5
Have sexy feet and hands. Care for your other extremities so your man will be even more excited by you.
- Take care of your hands and fingernails so your man will be turned on when he holds them.
- Keep your feet nice and fresh so you smell sexy in the bedroom.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Think Sexy

1
Love your looks. If you think you look sexy, your boyfriend will think so, too. Instead of asking him for reinforcement about your looks, be proud to show off your beautiful face and body.^{[3]
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- Pick at least three attributes you love about yourself, and show 'em off. If you love your legs, wear a shorter skirt, and if you think your arms are to die for, expose them in the perfect tank top.
- Have fun with your body. Dance in front of the mirror to your favorite song, and you'll see how much fun it is to inhabit your body.
- Be healthy. Eating right and exercising can have a positive impact on the way you think about yourself. Exercise can also be an opportunity to do something sexy with your boyfriend, like taking salsa lessons.
- Pay attention to the way you talk about your body. If you're wearing a new dress, instead of asking your boyfriend, "Do I look okay in this?" tell him, "Don't I look fabulous in this?" He'll be turned on by your love for your looks.
2
Be confident. There's nothing sexier than showing your man how confident you are. Instead of spending time telling you that you're amazing, he'll be busy loving your natural ease with yourself, which will make you look even more sexy. Here are some ways to be confident:
- Be aware of the things that make you a beautiful, unique, and talented individual. When you're having doubts, remind yourself of these qualities. It may even help to write them down.
- Be confident--to a point. Part of confidence is accepting that you are a flawed individual. You're already awesome, but there's always room for improvement. Your boyfriend will be impressed not only by your confidence, but by how comfortable you are in admitting you're not perfect.

Warnings

Don't rush him and don't let him rush you.

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Understand that some of the things above (waiting for him naked, etc) are for people that are in a comfortable and sexual relationship. If you've only ever pecked on the lips, don't try that (yet).

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Never do anything you would feel uncomfortable doing. If he gets the wrong idea, he might want to take it further than you intended.

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