This article was co-authored by wikiHow staff writer, Finn Kobler. Finn Kobler graduated from USC in 2022 with a BFA in Writing for Screen/Television. He is a two-time California State Champion and record holder in Original Prose/Poetry, a 2018 finalist for the Los Angeles Youth Poet Laureate, and he's written micro-budget films that have been screened in over 150 theaters nationwide. Growing up, Finn spent every summer helping his family's nonprofit arts program, Showdown Stage Company, empower people through accessible media. He hopes to continue that mission with his writing at wikiHow.
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Tinder has led to true love and flirty fun for thousands of people. And all of those connections started with an opening line. If you've matched with a hottie and have been scratching your head trying to figure out how to start the conversation, don’t stress. We’re here to offer you dozens of top-notch ways to effortlessly slide into their messages. From silly pick-up lines to intimate, thought-provoking questions, by the time you’re done reading, your matches will surely be impressed by how you break the ice.
Things You Should Know
- Send a fun or flirty joke or pick-up line to break the ice and make your match smile.
- Reference their profile in your conversation to show you’re interested and create easy topics for conversation.
- Find something you and your match have in common and mention it. If you don’t have a lot of similar interests, ask them to teach you about theirs.
- Add emojis and refer to your match by their name to make your messages more creative and personal.
Steps
“No way! I’ve always wanted to go to Morocco. How was it?”
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Make a reference to their profile. Profiles are the first impression for all dating apps, so odds are your match worked hard to make theirs sparkle and reflect their personality. Show you’ve done your research by commenting on something they put in their bio or one of their photos that really pops.[1] X Research source
- I admire your courage for skydiving. I’d pee myself climbing a 7-foot tree lol
- YOUR CAT IS SO FLUFFY AND ADORABLE! How long have you had her?
- You’re from Santa Cruz? I studied at UCSC! So many memories…
- I love your ‘Cat’s Cradle’ tattoo! If you like Kurt Vonnegut’s books, you should read something by Rachel Cantor.
“What was the last thing you binge-watched?”
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Ask a fun, open-ended question. Instead of the generic “sup” or “how’s it going,” ask your match about something they're passionate about. (If you’re unsure, music, travel, and entertainment almost always tend to interest people.) In addition, phrase your question so they can’t just reply with “yes” or “no.” The more they give you for their answer, the more topics you have to start a meaningful convo. [2] X Research source
- You have unlimited money for the day. What are you buying first?
- What’s your dream vacation?
- High and low of your week so far?
- What’s your favorite song and why?
“Dude! I just saw the craziest upsexy...”
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Send a silly or flirty pick-up line. Let’s be honest: everyone’s on tinder to date or hook up, so might as well open with that energy. Use your best pick-up line to make your match smile, sweat, or blush (ideally all 3)! Don’t be afraid of being too corny or cheesy, either. The more bold and silly you’re willing to be, the more comfortable your match will feel with you.[3] X Research source
- I think my phone’s busted. It keeps telling me I don’t have your number.
- Are you my laptop? Because you’re really hot and I’m concerned.
- I wish I were your derivative, so I could lie tangent to your curves.[4] X Research source
- Hey! I’m writing an article on the finer things in life. I was hoping I could interview you.
“2 truths and a lie. Go!”
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Use an ice-breaker game or multiple choice question to start. Begin with a multiple-choice or “would you rather” question to take the pressure off your match to say something interesting. Because the responses are already set up for them, answering requires less effort so they’re more likely to reply. In addition, play an ice-breaker game like “truth or dare” or “2 truths and a lie” to get the ball rolling. This way, you’re both regularly sharing information about yourselves and you can discuss after each round.[5] X Research source
- If you had to live near the beach or mountains forever, which would you pick?
- Let’s play “Never Have I Ever…”
- If you could describe yourself in only one word, what would it be?
- Would you rather have electrical sockets on your hands or your best friend be a tractor?
“That’s not a camel! That’s my brother! …Sorry, wrong chat.”
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Send a joke or funny anecdote. Use humor to make your match smile and diffuse any of the awkwardness that comes from that initial right swipe. Try telling a joke that references how silly and fun dating can be or finding a segway into a funny story so your match can get to know you better. Absurdity and puns are always welcome.
- Dinosaurs. The Empire State building. Whales…sorry, I never liked small talk.
- I just got news my Dad was pronounced dead…I can’t believe I’ve been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
- My Mom just asked me what a body count is. Any advice on navigating that conversation?
- This is awkward. I just matched with you, because I needed someone to check under my bed for monsters.[6] X Research source
“What are you most thankful for?”
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Dive into personal subjects like goals and childhood. On an app where everyone’s goal is to get lucky, getting intimate and vulnerable is a refreshing change of pace. Ask your match meaningful questions about themselves and their thoughts on life. Don’t be afraid to dive into philosophy, love, and politics. The more comfortable they feel sharing personal subjects with you, the more fun your future date will be.
- What are you afraid of?
- Do you have any regrets?
- What’s your favorite memory?
- When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
“You have a really cute smile. It’s making me smile.”
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Send your match a compliment. Make your match feel good about themselves by sharing something you like about their profile. Try to avoid generalized comments on their appearance (“hey stunning, “you’re so pretty”). Instead, be specific (“you have a great nose,” “your eyes are gorgeous”) or compliment something that isn’t physical like their vibes or sense of humor. [7] X Research source
- OMG! I love your fit in the 2nd photo.
- You’re an amazing photographer.
- Still laughing at your bio.
- I love your energy. It totally comes through in your profile.
“You visited Italy? I used to live in Palermo. How’d you like it?”
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Find something in common. It’s a lot easier to talk to someone if you have a shared goal or interest. Scan your match’s profile for things you can bond over: hometown, music taste, mutual friends. When in doubt, ask them questions about their hobbies to get a better idea of where to steer the conversation.
- You play Pokemon? We should battle sometime!
- A Lady Gaga fan? I saw her live at Coachella last year. Life-changing.
- Was your profile pic taken at Zebulon? Because that’s my favorite club! We should link there.
- Hey! You’re a fellow Lebron fan. Thoughts on him breaking the record?
“You’re a Pisces? I don’t follow astrology. Can you teach me?”
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Try to learn about one of their interests. If your match is an expert in something, use that to start a conversation. Asking for advice on their favorite subjects not only shows you care and are willing to put in energy, it easily allows you to set up a date so they can teach you.
- I see you played basketball. I’m terribly unathletic. Got any hooping advice?
- You say in your bio that you love ‘Survivor.’ I’ve never seen it. What season should I start with?
- You play bass? I’ve always wanted to, but my fingers are tiny. Any tips?
- You have a PhD in Film? That’s so cool! What was your dissertation about?
“Alert! A 7 has just messaged a perfect 10, praying they reply.”
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Acknowledge that you’re on a dating app. It can feel exhausting if you’ve been on dating apps like Tinder or Hinge for a while. You get the same questions and references to your profile over and over and over. Show your self-awareness by getting a little meta and referencing the frustrations of Tinder itself. You and your match will be able to commiserate together, which can lead to a more unique and memorable chat.
- Wait, you’re only a mile away? I’m gonna open a window and play the harmonica! Tell me if you can hear me.
- Give me 10 digits for why I should delete Tinder. *Reasons. Sorry, autocorrect. 😉
- [Insert cheap pick-up line here]. Laughter. Yadda yadda. Ice breaker. Make joke. Make a slightly more sexual joke. Laugh more. Can I have your number now?
- I’ve spent 9 hours trying to come up with a worthy opening line for you and I’ve still got nothin’.
"Hey ____! You ➕Me = 🥂?"
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Mention their name and get creative with emojis. Emojis are a great, visual way to show off your innovation and personality. In addition, referring to someone by their name instantly makes a conversation feel more friendly and personal. Spice up some generic Tinder openers by adding emoticons of your choosing. (Keep your choices friendly and fun at first. Then, once there’s clear chemistry with your match, you can type flirtier options like 🍆 and 🍑.)[8] X Research source
- Congrats ____! You have the best profile I’ve seen so far 🥇
- Hey there, ___! 😍Thanks for brightening my day 🤗✨
- 🌈🌞Good morning, _____ 🌞🌈
- 🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔻🔻🔻🔺🔺🔻🔺🔺 Dangit, _____! You made me drop my Doritos! 😑
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References
- ↑ https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/online-dating-tips/online-dating-tips-based-data/
- ↑ https://theeverygirl.com/20-new-openers-to-try-on-bumble/
- ↑ https://parade.com/1249413/marynliles/tinder-pick-up-lines/
- ↑ https://alum.mit.edu/slice/geeky-pickup-line-contest-and-winner
- ↑ https://www.uwb.edu/it/teaching/remote-instruction/icebreaker-ideas
- ↑ https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3904186/hilarious-tinder-openers/
- ↑ https://parade.com/1249413/marynliles/tinder-pick-up-lines/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/a12763843/tinder-opening-line-emoji/