How to Care for Your Grandparents

Co-authored by Justin Barnes

Last Updated: January 29, 2023 References Approved

Caring for your grandparents means being loving and giving toward them. Find ways to be helpful, such as helping them at home or with projects. Treat your grandparents with respect and dignity. Spending time with them can help you learn all about their lives and experiences. Be patient and kind toward them, even when they frustrate you or annoy you. Remember, your grandparents are older and may not have as much as energy as you do, so offer to be there and care for them.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Assisting Around the House

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Offer to help. Ask how you can help out. If they’re struggling to do something, step in and offer to take over. Even if your grandparents don’t ask, take the initiative to offer up your help. You can even ask your parents if there’s something you can do to help.^{[1]
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- Your grandparents might be happy to get help from you and teach you something in return. They might play a game with you or help you after school.
- Ask, “What can I do to help?”
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Help with daily chores. Many grandparents struggle with mobility and might need some help around the house. Tasks may be difficult or impossible to perform on their own. Help out by offering to do the dishes, mop, or do laundry. This can help them feel more comfortable and less worried about getting things done.^{[2]
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- See where you can be helpful and pitch in if you see a need.
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Assist with projects. If your grandparents are working on a large project (like painting or house training the dog), offer to help out. For example, if they are waterproofing their deck, devote a weekend to helping them. Be willing to set aside time to help them with larger projects that they may struggle to complete on their own.
- These can be great opportunities to spend time together and talk more.
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Run errands. Maybe your grandparents need help filling prescriptions, getting groceries, or going to the bank. Running errands can be helpful, especially if your grandparents don’t drive or have difficulty walking. Find the ways you can contribute.^{[3]
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- If you don’t drive yet, go with your parents on errands for your grandparents.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Interacting with Your Grandparents

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Be polite. Show respect and be polite to your grandparents. Even if they ask the same questions over and over or struggle to hear what you say, show your care in how you interact. Respond in a calm tone when they ask you questions or need something. If they are talking, listen patiently without interrupting them. This shows that you value and respect them.^{[4]
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- Take a break if you’re feeling frustrated. Come back in a few minutes after you’ve cooled off.
- Your approach should be one of honor and respect, remembering that this person is an adult human being, and to start there. Make sure to never treat your grandparents like a child.
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Spend time with them. One of the greatest ways to show care is by spending time together. Spend time getting to know them. Watch a favorite television show, take a walk in the park together each week, or get together each week for dinner. Have them teach you a game, then teach them one you know.^{[5]
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- Have something special that you do together. For example, take a walk at the park each week or go for ice cream together.
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Inquire about their lives. Ask your grandparents about their memories and stories from their lives. Get to know your family history. Ask about their life, and ask what it was like you have your parent as their child.
- Consider drawing a family tree and make it with your grandparents.
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Ask for advice. Grandparents are some of the best people to go to for advice. They have lived much longer than you have and had lots of experiences, both good and bad, to share with you. If you have something weighing on your mind, bring it to a grandparent to discuss. Not only will it give you a new perspective, it will also make your grandparents feel appreciated and valued.^{[6]
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- Ask advice about things like going to college, dating, marriage, and kids. If you want a second opinion, go to a grandparent.
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Be cheerful. Some days may be harder than others, but remember that you are doing something for someone you love. If your grandparent asks for a lot of help, think about what you are willing and able to do, then do it with a positive attitude.
- Especially if your grandparents feel lonely, make an effort to be sociable and happy around them.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Being Thoughtful

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Give gifts. Give them thoughtful gifts that show that you care about them and are thinking of them. A gift can be a thing, like a watch or a cellphone , or an experience, like seeing a movie together or going somewhere beautiful to enjoy nature. Think about what your grandparents might appreciate, then make a kind gesture.^{[7]
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- Remember your grandparents’ birthdays and other special days and give gifts to celebrate.
- You can ask your parents for help in choosing a gift.
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Invite them to events. Grandparents love to feel proud of their grandkids. Invite your grandparents to your sports games, concerts, plays, recitals, birthday parties, graduations, and other events. They will likely enjoy being included and feeling like a part of your life.
- Have a special place for them to sit if they struggle with mobility. This can also be a place of honor for your grandparents, such as sitting near you at your birthday party.
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Track their health. Check in with your grandparents on how they are doing with their health. Ask if they are attending regular appointments, getting the medication they need, and are doing well. Ask if they have someone to call when they are sick or need medical attention. If they need help getting to appointments or managing their medication, offer to help them.^{[8]
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- Because health can decline with old age, make an effort to check in on your grandparents and make sure they are doing alright.

Community Q&A

Question

My grandmother is going through a hard time with her hearing loss, but she has a hearing aid. How should I react to her when she doesn't hear something?

Community Answer

Just smile and speak once again. Try not to feel irritated with her; remind yourself that she's struggling more than you are, so patience is the best approach.
Question

How can I make them happy?

Community Answer

They just want to spend time with you. Visit them whenever possible, give them hugs, tell them you love them, and tell them about your success at school, in sports, etc. Grandparents enjoy feeling proud of their grandchildren.
Question

How can I spend time with my grandparents?

Community Answer

Go to dinner with them and have a nice conversation with them. Do something that they enjoy doing with you.