How to Find Out if a Girl Likes You

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: February 7, 2023 References

Romance is usually full of ambiguity and uncertainty at the beginning. It can be difficult to work up the guts to ask a girl out on a date if you aren’t sure if she likes you, and sometimes it can be pretty difficult to tell. However, there are some ways to figure out if a girl likes you before you make the move.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Reading Body Language

1
Read her body language. People will often express themselves through their body language. These signals can range from being obvious to subtle, requiring you to pay careful attention. Try to look out for some of the following examples of body language to determine if a girl might be interested in you or not:^{[1]
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- Standing or sitting close to you can be a sign of interest.
- If she makes eye contact often and smiles or laughs a lot she might be interested in you.
- Lightly touching your arms or shoulders can be a show of affection.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Imad Jbara
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- If she crosses her arms, looks distracted or avoids contact with you she is probably uninterested.
- Some people may differ in regards to how they use their body language. These signs won't always apply.
2
Take note if she wants to spend time with you. Does she always come find you at lunch? Does she stop by your locker after school? Does she regularly visit you at work? Has she taken an interest in your activities? If she makes an effort to be around you, she obviously likes spending time with you. That may not mean that she is interested in you romantically but if she treats you different than all other guys there is a good chance she is.
- Many say that this is the best way to find out if someone is interested in you. Ask yourself if it seems like she wants to spend time with you. If the answer is yes, she probably likes you.^{[3]
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3
Pay attention to her facial expressions. If she is willing to make eye contact with you, that is a good sign to begin with. Our facial expressions are great indicators of our feelings. If the girl gives you a warm welcoming look and a smile when you see her that is definitely a sign of positive feelings. However, sometimes people might fake smiles. Learn some of the following traits of genuine smiles and fake smiles to accurately gauge interest:^{[4]
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- Genuine smiles will involve the eyes. A person who is smiling will close their eyes and should have “crows-feet” wrinkles appear.
- Fake smiles will generally not involve the eyes at all. There won't be any closing of the eyes or “crows-feet” appearing with a fake smile.
- In a genuine smile, you shouldn't be able to see the persons bottom teeth. Fake smiles will likely reveal both the top and bottom rows of teeth.
4
Trust your gut. If you think she likes you, there’s a pretty good chance she likes you.^{[5]
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Research source} Try not to spend too much time thinking about it. It’s natural to be nervous about something like this but thinking about it constantly isn’t helping anything. Take stock of the information that you have available to you and decide on a course of action. It would be better to decide to ask her out or decide to do nothing then to keep torturing yourself.
- None of these clues guarantee that she is into you, but if you’re noticing two or three of them it is probably a good sign.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Picking Up Signs While Together

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Pay attention to how she talks and what she talks about. A girl who is interested in you will laugh more often and her voice may rise in pitch. She might even say flirtatious things, like complimenting you on how you look today. If she is more willing to talk about personal topics with you, such as your plans for the future, she might be interested romantically.^{[6]
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- If you’re lucky, she’ll even give you helpful hints for dates like mentioning that she loves a particular band or wants to go dancing. ^{[7]
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- Giving you a compliment such as “Oh I love your shirt! That band is one of my favorites.” can indicate interest.
- If she asks you about what you are doing later on in the week she might be subtly asking you to spend some time with her.
2
Notice interruptions. If the person is constantly interrupting you or doesn’t seem focused on the conversation then they are probably not romantically interested in you. Try to pay attention during your time together for signs that she may not be interested in you:
- Interruptions are rarely a result of a girl being shy, which makes it a good indicator.
- Gauge the responses you get during a conversation. For example if you were just explaining how well your garden is growing and she responds with “Uh-huh....” she is likely not interested.
- Silence can be a good indicator that there isn't a good connection.
3
Look for humor. Some studies propose that humor is one of the best indicators of romantic interest.^{[8]
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Research source} If you are having humorous exchanging and laughing at one another’s silly jokes, there may be a romantic spark in your relationship. Humor is a way to test the social waters^{[9]
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Research source} and figure out if you are a good fit with the person.
- For example, you might both playfully imagine a silly situation and discuss what you think would happen.
- Joking around can let you know if your sense of humor is similar with hers. You might enjoy puns and she might hate them. While this may not prevent you from liking each other, it's good to know how best to make one another laugh.
4
Notice playful behavior. Playful behavior can be a sign of personal interest and is also a trait that is commonly valued in potential partners. You can also show your own interest and make yourself more appealing by being light-hearted and playful when spending time together, such as some light teasing back and forth.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Keep an eye out for playful behavior and try to be playful yourself to learn if a girl likes you.^{[11]
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- Playful people are more likely to be perceived as attractive by those who are not.
- Both men and women find playfulness equally important and attractive.
5
Look out for jealousy. When a girl likes you she may display signs of jealousy when you are interacting with or talking about another girl. This can be a good sign that the girl you are with has an interest in you. Pay attention for any signs of jealousy to gauge her level of interest in you.^{[12]
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- She might respond coldly or dismissively if you compliment another girl. This may indicate jealousy.
- Avoid trying to make her overly jealous. Once you notice jealousy, stop trying to bring it out in her.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Asking Her

1
Ask her out on a date. The simplest way to find out if she likes you is to ask her out on a romantic date.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Make sure she understands that this date goes beyond just being friends. For example, a dinner and a movie will seem more serious and romantic than grabbing lunch together.
- Don't be discouraged if she turns you down, especially if she apologizes and seems sincere about it.
- Do not push or press her for a date. If she firmly rejects you or appears uncomfortable, accept her answer.
2
Describe your feelings to her. You need to tell her how you feel if you expect her to tell you how she feels. If you think she may not understand where you are coming from when you ask her out on a date, try telling her how you feel first. Explain that you have romantic feelings for her and tell her the reasons why. Once you’re finished, you should ask her how she feels.
- If she says no that’s okay. Don’t take it personally. It may hurt your feelings but at least you went for it. That requires a lot more bravery than most people can muster.
3
Write her a letter. Letters are pretty neat. Everyone likes getting a letter. If you don’t want to talk to her in person, write her a letter telling her your feelings.
- Think about who she is and what sorts of things she likes. If she enjoys pop culture and puns, include these in your letter!
- Be yourself. Don't try to present yourself as something you are not in hopes of impressing her. It may backfire!
4
Ask her friends. This is sort of a childish way to figure out if a girl likes you, but it may work. If her friends know the girl likes you and that she is waiting for you to ask her out on a date they may be inclined to tell you.
- If the girl wants to keep it a secret she may tell her friends to stay quiet. Take what her friends say with a grain of salt.