How to Get a Boyfriend or Girlfriend in the Sims 4

Written by Jack Lloyd

Last Updated: March 25, 2023

This wikiHow teaches you how to place two of your Sims in a relationship with each other in The Sims 4. You can do this naturally by finding a Sim and allowing your Sim to pursue the necessary social interactions; if that sounds like too much work, there's a cheat you can use to initiate a relationship.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Using Social Interactions

1
Understand the limitations. When attempting to get two Sims to form a relationship, they cannot be related, nor can they be opposed to each other's traits.
- While it's technically possible to get two opposite Sims to date, doing so is difficult.
- Your Sims' genders don't factor into their dating choices.
2
Send your Sim to a social location. If you want your Sim to meet another Sim organically, you'll need to send them to a club, bar, park, or similar social location.
- You can also just send your Sim out into the street if there are enough Sims around.
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3
Have your Sim introduce themselves to another Sim. Select the Sim with whom you want to pair your Sim to strike up a conversation.
4
Look for positive signs. You will see literal green "+" signs appear above both your Sim's head and the other Sim's head while they talk; if you see a large majority of these, your Sims are compatible.^{[1]
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- You'll most likely see a few red "-" signs as well. As long as you see significantly more green positives than red negatives, you're set to proceed.
- If you see an influx of red "-" signs, you'll have to find a different Sim with whom to pair your Sim.
5
Build a friendship between the two Sims. The easiest, lowest-risk way to do this is by conversing with the other Sim by selecting Friendly as a conversation option and then selecting dialog options such as Ask About Day or Compliment Outfit.
- You want the "Friendship" meter to be at least 50 percent full; any lower than that, your romantic attempts will fail.
- Avoid flirty (pink) dialog options when building a friendship.
6
Begin flirting. Once your two Sims are friends (e.g., the "Friendship" bar is at 50 percent or higher), you can begin flirting with the other Sim by selecting the Romance conversation option and then selecting Flirt.
7
Wait to see if the other Sim accepts the flirting. If the other Sim is open to romance, you will see a pink bar appearing below the green "Friendship" bar under both your Sim's name and the other Sim's name.
- If the pink bar doesn't appear, try building up the "Friendship" bar some more time before attempting to flirt again.
8
Build the "Romance" bar to at least 30 percent. Building romance works in the same way as building friendship: select the Romance conversation option, then select light options such as Flirt or Compliment Appearance.
- Avoid physical actions until the "Romance" bar has grown a few times. Ideally, you'll wait to use physical options until the bar reaches the 30 percent mark.
- If the other Sim reacts unfavorably to something you do, select the Apologize conversation option before proceeding, then go back to light flirting or complimenting.
9
Ask the Sim to date. Once the "Romance" bar is at least 30 percent full, select the Romance menu option, then select Ask to Be Boyfriend or Ask to Be Girlfriend in the resulting menu. This will usually result in the Sim becoming your Sim's partner.^{[2]
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- If the other Sim reacts poorly, go back to flirting until you've increased the "Romance" bar to around 50 percent, then try again.
10
Continue building the relationship. Once your Sim and their partner are dating, you can continue using Romance options such as holding hands, kissing, and so on to build the "Romance" bar.
- Once the "Romance" bar is 50 percent full or higher, you can ask the Sim to marry your Sim. If the bar is high enough, you'll even have an Elope option.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Using a Cheat

1
Find a Sim whom you want your Sim to date. Before you can use a cheat to pair your two Sims, you'll need to find the Sim whom you want your Sim to date.
2
Note the other Sim's name. You need the first and last name of the other Sim before you can proceed.
3
Enable the Cheats console. Press Ctrl+⇧ Shift+C (Windows) or ⌘ Command+⇧ Shift+C (Mac) to do so. You should see a text box appear.
4
Enter the "Enable Cheats" command. Type in testing cheats enabled and press ↵ Enter. This will turn on cheats for your current Sims 4 game.^{[3]
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5
Enter the "Modify Relationship" command. You'll use this command to raise your Sims' "Friendship" and "Romance" meters to 75 percent, which will enable romance options without causing the game to glitch out. The "Modify Relationship" command can be entered as follows:^{[4]
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- Type in modifyrelationship and press the space bar.
- Type in your Sim's first name and press the space bar, then enter their last name and press the space bar.
- Type in the first and last name of the Sim you want to date in the same way, making sure to press the space bar after their last name.
- Type in 75 and press the space bar.
- Type in Friendship_Main and press ↵ Enter.
- Repeat this command and replace "Friendship_Main" with "Romance_Main".
6
Strike up a conversation with the other Sim. Go to the Sim with whom you want to pair your Sim and start talking to them. Eventually, you should see dialog options appear.
7
Ask the Sim to date. Since the two Sims have high "Friendship" and "Romance" meters, you can select the Romance dialogue category and then select Ask to Be Boyfriend or Ask to Be Girlfriend right away. This will place your Sims in a relationship.

Community Q&A

Question

What should I do when they partner up?

Community Answer

You can do whatever you want. For example, you can send them on a date or have them sleep in one bed. When is their relationship really good, they can even have a marriage.
Question

How do I make a romantic interest in the Sims a boyfriend?

Community Answer

Make your Sim "propose going steady," and they will be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Question

What does it mean if there isn't a romantic option?

Community Answer

If your Sim is a teen talking to a young adult, or vice versa, there won't be a romantic option. This is also the case if the two Sims are related.

Warnings

Being romantic too soon will creep out the other Sim. Save large (and physical) romantic gestures until the "Romance" bar is at least a third full.

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