Going out on dates is a great way to meet potential partners and see if you two are a match. Getting a date, however, can be a nerve wracking experience—but it doesn’t have to be! Use these tips and tricks to approach people online or in-person and (hopefully!) get someone to agree to a date.

3

Strike up a conversation with a stranger.

  1. Pick a good opening line to keep your potential date’s interest. Try looking for something around you that you could talk about, like books in a book store or produce in a supermarket. It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking; just something that you two can talk about for a few minutes.[3]
    • For example, if you are in a supermarket, you might say, “Those new bakery cookies look good. Have you tried them yet?”
    • Or, if you’re in a bookstore, you can ask, “Have you read that book yet? The reviews say it’s great!”
    • Stay away from pickup lines, as they can be a little off putting.
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5

Try a little small talk to keep things light.

  1. Strike up a conversation with someone you're interested in. Listen and pay attention to what your potential date is saying, and start the conversation off slowly. Look for details that you can use to keep the conversation going.[5]
    • For example, if they say they haven’t tried something because they’re vegan, ask them how long they’ve been avoiding meat.
    • Or, if they’re interested in the same book as you, talk about other books the author has written or novels that you’ve liked in the past.
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7

Be honest about your feelings for the easiest approach.

8

Make the date their idea to keep things casual.

  1. Learn more about what they like to do for fun, then ask them out. People are usually more comfortable with their own plans, and they might be more likely to agree if they suggest something. For example, you could say:[8]
    • “Know any good restaurants nearby?” When your date lists one, say “Sounds good! We should go there sometime.”
    • “What’s your favorite place to get a drink around here?” After your date says the name of their favorite bar, say, “That place sounds cool. Want to grab a drink there tonight?”
9

Create a challenge to keep things lighthearted.

Expert Q&A

  • Question
    Can I get a girlfriend online?
    Cher Gopman
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Yes! If you're asking someone out you met online, try to have at least 5 back-and-forth exchanges before you ask them out on a date.
  • Question
    How do you politely ask for a date?
    Cher Gopman
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Try to suggest a date that's related to your common interests. For example, if you find out you both enjoy hiking, you could say something like, "I'm actually going on a hike this Sunday. Do you want to go with me?”
  • Question
    What if the other person likes pick-up lines?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    If you know they'll like a goofy pickup line, go for it! They work well on close friends and people who have a good sense of humor.
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  1. https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-date-without-dating-apps-2018-10
  2. Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.

About This Article

Cher Gopman
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post. This article has been viewed 869,005 times.
28 votes - 79%
Co-authors: 185
Updated: June 27, 2022
Views: 869,005
Categories: Getting a Date
Article SummaryX

To get a date, strike up a conversation with someone you're interested in by making small talk or asking for a favor. Remember to stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile while you're talking to them so you appear confident and likable. If the conversation is going well, casually ask them on a date by saying something like "Do you have any plans for Saturday night?" Try to suggest something specific to do that you think the other person will enjoy so they're more likely to say yes. If you want to learn more, such as how to make a great first impression, keep reading the article!

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