How to Know if You Like a Girl

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Feelings of affection can be confusing, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with romance. If you find yourself stressing out about whether you like a girl you know, figuring out the truth might help you have a conversation about it. To figure things out, you’ll need to pay close attention to your own feelings and body language. If you like her, there’s a good chance that you’re showing signs of it.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Tuning Into Your Feelings

1
Decide if being around them makes you feel good. When you like a girl, being around them will make you feel happy and elated. Think about how you feel when you’re around them and pay attention to your emotions. If you don’t feel any happiness or excitement when you see them, you may not like them.
- When you like someone there will be more activity in the dopamine-rich areas of your brain that control feelings of pleasure and happiness.^{[1]
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  Research source}
- Many times, if you have to ask yourself if you like her, you probably do.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Eddy Baller
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
2
Determine if you’re always thinking about them when you’re apart. If you find yourself daydreaming about the girl and constantly wondering what they’re doing, it’s a strong sign that you like them. Pay attention to what you’re thinking about throughout the day and count the number of times that you think of them.^{[3]
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- If you think about the girl more than 3-4 times per day, there’s a good chance you like her.
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3
Consider if you’re nicer to her than other people.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} When you like a girl, you’ll treat her nicer than other people around you. You may feel compelled to pay for her meals or do favors for her. If you catch yourself paying close attention to how she feels and go out of your way to make her day more pleasant, it’s a sign that you like her.^{[5]
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- For instance, you might let them cut you in the lunch line or always offer help with their classwork.
- You may also go out of your way to be more polite to them than others.
4
Think about how you want your family and friends to think about them. If you like a girl, you’ll want important people in your life to also like them. If you’re always asking your friends or family members about their opinion of the girl and want them to accept her, there’s a good chance that you like her.^{[6]
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- If your friends or family don't like her, it should bother you if you like her.
- If you could care less how others feel about the girl, there’s a good chance you don’t like them.
5
Pay attention to the way you feel when the girl succeeds. If you like the girl, you'll feel happy and proud whenever the girl success in something. Their success and victories will also make you feel good, even if you're not participating in what they are doing. If you don’t feel anything or find yourself feeling envious, it’s a sign that you don’t like them.^{[7]
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- For instance, you might find yourself rooting them on during competitions or feel good when they do well on tests and quizzes.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Evaluating Physical Signs

1
Consider whether you get butterflies when you see them. Butterflies are a result of a jolt of adrenaline that sometimes happens when you see a girl you like. If you notice that you have a strange, weightless feeling when you’re around the girl, it may be a physical sign that you’re into them.^{[8]
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- You don't need to have butterflies when you see a girl you like, but it is a common sign that you like them.
- As you get older and have more romantic experiences, you may not encounter butterflies as often.
2
Touch her hand and see how you feel. Consider how you feel when you hug her or touch her hand. If you suddenly feel anxious or happy, these are signs you may like her. If you feel grossed out or indifferent, it’s a sign that you don’t like her at all.^{[9]
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- Make sure you're already friends with the girl before you touch her.
- If the girl seems uncomfortable or pulls back when you get close, respect her personal space and don't touch her.
3
Think about whether you stare at them.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} If your eyes naturally go towards the girl, it’s a physical reaction to seeing something that you like. If you didn’t like her, you wouldn’t find yourself looking at her. Think about where your eyes end up when you’re around her. If you find yourself constantly looking in her direction, you may like her.^{[11]
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- If you can't stop yourself from looking at her, it's a sign that you have a strong attraction to her.
4
Pay attention to whether you sweat around her. When you like a girl, you may feel anxious and could sweat more. Pay attention to whether the rhythm of your heart picks up in speed or you feel anxious. These are all signs that you like her.^{[12]
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- Keep in mind that some people may not get sweaty when they are around a girl they like.

Community Q&A

Question

I like a girl and she says she likes me too but she flirts with other boys. What should I do?

GEttinger

Community Answer

Just because the girl flirts with other boys doesn't mean she doesn't like you. She may just have a very open and friendly personality. Talk to her about your feelings and ask her if she feels the same way.
Question

I'm worried if I say something about how I feel it might damage our friendship. What should I do?

GEttinger

Community Answer

It might damage the friendship if she takes it the wrong way. It's a risk you'll have to take if you want to develop a romantic relationship with her. Think about whether you'd rather have the friendship or if you really want something romantic with her and are willing to potentially lose it over it. If she's a good friend, she'll remain your friend either way after you've talked to her.
Question

I don't hang out with this girl, but she smiles and looks at me, and we added each other on SC. I sent her a snap a few months ago and she didn't say anything. Should I say something? And what, if so?

GEttinger

Community Answer

She might be shy or she might have just overlooked the message. Try to talk to her in person about how you added her on Snapchat and talk about some of her snaps. Then, see if she'd be open to hanging out in person or grabbing something to eat.