wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 18 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time.
This article has been viewed 247,044 times.
Learn more...
Since the beginning of time, people have been using manipulative tactics to get others to say or do certain things. To play mind games, you must be able to deceive people without making your intentions obvious. By practicing certain methods, and find tuning your acting skills, you may find yourself controlling the thoughts and emotions of others.
Steps
Becoming Convincing to Others
-
1Sign up for an acting class. When learning how to trick someone, it is important that you learn how to make that person believe in your words and emotions. Learning basic acting techniques can help you become more persuasive to those who you are trying to manipulate.
-
2Never break character. If someone calls your bluff, or accuses you of trying to mess with their mind, do not admit it. It is possible to turn the situation around, and convince that person that their paranoia and accusations hurt your feelings.
- If you do admit that you were playing mind games, you will lose that person's trust.
Advertisement -
3Be charming. People are more receptive to those who are charming, and they are more inclined to trust them.
- Always have a smile on your face, have welcoming body language, and treat everyone with respect and equality.
-
4Become charismatic. People respond positively to those who make them feel special and happy. Charismatic people are great at doing because they posses certain qualities. Here are some methods you can use:
- Say people's names when you greet and part ways.
- Use open and energetic body language: make eye contact during a conversation, smile, lean in towards people, and use expressive hand gestures.
- Apply mirroring skills to your communication. Try to mirror other people's gestures, voice tone, speech speed and so on. This usually implies understanding and empathy.
- Give compliments and talk to others in a positive and uplifting manner.
- Ask about their interests. Have a list of interesting questions you can ask people that help you get to know them on a deeper level.
- Respond to their feelings to show you care.
-
5Show confidence. Show people you value yourself and they should too. This will allow people to be more likely to listen to what you have to say and trust you.
- When you are saying something, whether it be true or false, say it proudly. Pretend like you believe in what you are saying so that others will believe it too.
-
6Be seemingly vulnerable. When you share your sensitive side and deep emotions, it makes people believe there is no room in your personality for deception. You want people to think you are being transparent and have nothing to hide.[1]
- Be empathic to the world around you.[2]
- Express your admiration for beautiful things or gracious acts.
Studying the People Around You
-
1Study other manipulators. If you find out someone has been practicing mind games on you, or someone you know, and has done it well, figure out what made that person so successful. Study their mannerisms and words to figure out their technique.
-
2Practice reading people. Be sure to study the person you are trying to play a mind game with, so that you know how that person thinks. This will allow you to take the best approach for getting this person to take part in your game.
-
3Watch for emotionally driven people. A lot of people are easily responsive to emotional situations and hardships. For sympathetic and empathetic people, you will want to play to their emotions by having them feel bad for you. This will lead them into helping you however you say you need it.
-
4Play the victim. This tactic requires you to gain the sympathy of the other person. You need to act like you are a perfect, moral person who keeps being victimized by the evils of the world, and you just don't know why. This will make someone feel obligated to give in to any requests you may have.
- Simply pretend to be ignorant, and say, “I just don’t know what I keep doing wrong. Why do bad things keep happening to me?" Pretend like you are genuinely confused as to why things never work out for you.
-
5Look for guilt-ridden people. When you know that someone is sensitive to guilt, be sure to play on that weakness. Guilt can weigh very heavy on a lot of people, and they will do their best to avoid that feeling. When you go to ask for a favor that someone may not want to do, you can attempt to guilt trip that person into doing it. Here are some things you can say if someone turns you down:
- "I knew you would let me down."
- "I am not surprised that you won't do it, I am used to it."[3]
-
6Be aware of logically minded people. If you find someone who goes by fact, and does not believe in something unless there is evidence to back it up, then you need more than emotions to mess with this person. Figure out a way to back up what you say with reason or logical benefits to be more convincing.[4]
- For example, if you want someone to eat more healthy, explain how unhealthy food leads to health problems, and that vegetables can add years to your life. This may convince someone to healthier foods.[5]
Sending Mixed Signals to a Significant Other
-
1Don't respond immediately to texts and phone calls. People who are always available leave little room for mystery or deception. Instead of waiting by the phone to engage in conversation, let her think you are busy.
- If she is excited to text you in the morning with a flirty greeting, do not send one back until hours later. This will leave her wondering where you are and who you might be with.
- The same goes for a phone call. If she calls you, do not answer it. Call her back hours later, or maybe even the next day. Your unavailability will leave her guessing.
-
2Be flirtatious around other people. When it is just the two of you hanging out, let the sparks fly. Show her that that you two have great chemistry, and something special may come out of this relationship. Then, we you two come around other people, show some flirtatious attention to other girls. This will surely mess with her mind.[6]
- Engage in fun conversations with other girls by telling jokes and making them laugh.
-
3Disappear for a few days. Maybe you two have been spending a lot of great time together, and things seem to be heating up. Throw her off course by not speaking to her for a few days.
- If she calls or texts you, asking you to meet up or just chat, simply send her a text that explains you are busy. Be vague, and tell her that you will call her in a few days when you get a chance.
-
4Say you're fine when you're not. If your significant other somehow lets you down, or disappoints you, tell her that everything is fine and you understand, but then act upset. This will surely play games with their mind[7]
- If your significant other cancels plans with you, say, "Don't worry about it, I totally understand. We can reschedule for another time." Then, when you two speak or hangout next, act very reserved, limit your laughter and smiles, and seem on the sad side. When she asks you if something is wrong, say, "No, everything is fine."
Controlling the Emotions of Others
-
1Test their dignity. Most people do not like to claim defeat, or admit when something becomes too hard for them to do. By presenting undesirable tasks in certain ways, you can easily convince someone to agree to what you want.
- If you want someone to shovel snow from your driveway, you may ask, "Can you keep shoveling the driveway or do you need me to do it? If you can't handle it, then it is okay, I can."
- By offering to take over the thing you want that person to continue doing, you provide that person with the idea that you are kind and willing to help. When you add in the statement about not being able to handle the situation, that person will continue to shovel to avoid admitting defeat.
-
2Show you care. If you show someone that you care about their well-being, or you want to have him or her as a friend, it will naturally invite that person into your life.
- Do someone a favor. When you go out of your way for another person, that person will feel indebted to you and will want to return the favor.[8]
- Find a way to help someone out, and then after you have completed the task, ask for a favor. It will be hard for that person to turn you down.
-
3Instill fear and then provide relief. A great way to influence the way someone makes a decision, is to make that person fear a situation enough to be willing to do whatever you say to avoid it from happening.[9]
- If you want someone to start exercising with you, give statistics about how not working out can lead to terrible health problems. Then, explain how you can teach that person great exercises to avoid getting those health problems.
-
4Figure out someone's desire. If you're dealing with people who are driven by desire, simply explain an easy way to obtain what they want. Tell them how to easily make more money, get a job promotion, or buy a better car. Making them believe they can have brighter futures by doing what you say is an easy way to play mind games.
Community Q&A
-
QuestionWhat if my significant other doesn't respond well to my games?Community AnswerStop playing mind games with them. People usually don't like it when they know that other people are playing mind games with them or when they do what was said to do in the article. It may cause you to lose your relationship.
-
QuestionHow do I spot when someone is playing mind games?Community AnswerYou could call them out by asking them. If they say no, there is still a chance they are playing mind games.
-
QuestionHow do I read someone's mind?Community AnswerYou can't exactly read their thoughts. However, you can deduce how they perceive themselves, and based on what they have done to or with you in the past, how they may act in the future or in general.
Warnings
- Cover your tracks. You need to make sure that you tell the same story to everyone who may be involved in your manipulation scheme.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-trust-you/
- ↑ http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-trust-you/
- ↑ http://www.npr.org/2012/07/24/157271465/how-to-manipulate-people-into-saying-yes
- ↑ http://www.npr.org/2012/07/24/157271465/how-to-manipulate-people-into-saying-yes
- ↑ http://www.npr.org/2012/07/24/157271465/how-to-manipulate-people-into-saying-yes
- ↑ http://www.hercampus.com/love/7-mind-games-he-plays-how-deal
- ↑ http://www.hercampus.com/love/7-mind-games-he-plays-how-deal
- ↑ http://nlp.snowcron.com/intro_manipulation.htm
- ↑ http://www.npr.org/2012/07/24/157271465/how-to-manipulate-people-into-saying-yes
About This Article
Playing mind games with your partner will keep them wondering about your intentions. To send mixed signals to your partner, don’t respond to their texts or phone calls right away. Instead, let them wonder where you are or who you’re with. When you’re alone with your partner, show them how much chemistry the two of you have together. But when you’re with other people, be a little flirtatious with the people around you to keep your partner guessing. When your partner upsets you or lets you down, tell them that you’re fine but act upset to really confuse them and keep them on their toes. To learn how to control the emotions of other people, keep reading!