How to Stop Yourself from Crying

Co-authored by Sandra Possing

Last Updated: December 27, 2022 References Approved

It's normal to cry when you're stressed or sad, but if you are in a situation in which you don't want to cry or be seen crying, there are ways to stop. To do so, you can make physical or mental changes to shift your attention away from whatever is upsetting you and focus on something more positive. If that doesn't work, however, you can also try to hide your tears for a moment to give yourself some time and get into a better headspace before trying to focus on something else again. In any case, remember that what you're going through is normal and that you'll feel better again.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Stopping Yourself from Crying with Physical Actions

1
Focus on your breathing. Crying is a reaction caused by a heightened state of emotions and the relaxing effects of breathing can help you to stop yourself from crying.^{[1]
X
Research source} Perhaps you’ve just thought of a sad memory, you’ve been broken up with, or something tragic has happened in your life. Calming yourself is a big part of stopping yourself from crying. Focusing on breathing, as in meditation, can help you to control the emotions you are feeling and help you to restore a sense of inner peace.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.}
- When you feel the tears coming, breathing in slowly and deeply through your nose, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Doing this will both relax the lump that forms in your throat when you are on the verge of tears, and will stabilize your thoughts and emotions.
- Try counting to 10. Breathe in through your nose when you count a number. Exhale through your mouth when you are between numbers. Counting helps you to focus solely on your breath and not whatever is making you want to cry.
- Even taking just one deep breath can steady you when you are faced with something that makes you want to cry. Draw one deep breath in, hold it for a moment, and then let it back out. In that moment, focus only on the air going in and out of your lungs. Taking this deep breath will also give you a moment to pause before you have to deal with the cause of your sadness.
2
Move your eyes to control your tears. If you are in a situation that is making you want to cry, but you don’t want to show your emotions to others, moving your eyes can help you to control those tears. Some research has actually shown that blinking may help stop the flow of tears.^{[3]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}Blink a few times to clear your eyes of any tears.
- Cross your eyes or roll them several times. Of course, you may only want to do this when you know that no one is looking at you. Aside from mentally distracting yourself (you have to focus to cross your eyes) it will also physically keep the tears from forming.
- Close your eyes. Closing your eyes gives you a moment to process what is happening. Closing your eyes paired with taking several deep breaths will help you to calm down and focus on not crying.
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3
Distract yourself with a physical movement. When you are on the verge of tears, it is important to get your mind onto other things. Physically distracting yourself is one way to keep yourself from crying.^{[4]
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Research source}
- Squeeze your upper thighs or squeeze your hands together. The pressure should be enough to distract you from the reason why you feel like crying.
- Find something else to squeeze, whether it is a stress toy, a pillow, a part of your shirt, or a loved one’s hand.
- Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth or up against your teeth.
4
Relax your facial expression. Furrowing your brow and frowning may make it more likely that you will start crying because our facial expressions can affect our emotions. To help stop yourself from crying, try to adopt a neutral facial expression in any situation where you feel like you are going to cry. Relax your brow and the muscles around your mouth so that you are not wearing a look of concern or distress.
- If it is appropriate or you can get away for a few minutes, try smiling to stop yourself from crying. Some studies have shown that smiling can alter your mood in a positive way even if you don’t feel like smiling.^{[5]
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  Research source}
5
Remove the lump in your throat. One of the hardest parts of trying to hold in your tears is getting rid of the lump in your throat that forms when something makes you want to cry. When your body registers that you are under stress, one of the ways the autonomic nervous system reacts is to open up the glottis, which is the muscle control the opening from the back of the throat to the voice box. When the glottis is opened, it makes it feel like there is a lump in your throat when you try to swallow.^{[6]
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Research source}
- Take a sip of water to release the tension caused by the glottis being opened up. Sipping water will relax your throat muscles (and calm your nerves.)
- If you don’t have water on hand, breath steadily and swallow slowly several times. Breathing will help you relax, and swallowing slowly will help tell your body that it doesn’t need to keep the glottis open.
- Yawn. Yawning helps to relax your throat muscles, which means that it helps ease the tightness you feel in your throat when you glottis is opened.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Stopping Yourself from Crying by Changing Your Focus

1
Think of something else that you can focus on. Sometimes you can stop the flow of tears by redirecting your attention onto something else.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.} For example, you could change your focus by doing some simple math problems in your head. Add up small numbers or go over the times table in your head will distract your from what is making you feel upset and help you calm down.
- Alternatively, you could try to think of the lyrics to your favorite song. Remembering the words and singing the song in your head will take your mind off whatever is bothering you. Try to imagine the words to a happy or funny song so you give yourself a mental pick-me-up.
2
Think of something funny. While it may seem hard to do in the face of whatever is making you want to cry, thinking of something funny can really help you overcome your tears. Think of something that has made you laugh really hard in the past--a funny memory, a scene from a movie, or a joke you heard once.^{[8]
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Research source}
- Try to smile when thinking of this funny thing.
3
Remind yourself that you are a strong individual. Giving yourself a mental pep-talk when you feel like you are on the verge of tears can help you overcome your desire to cry. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel sad, but that you cannot feel sad right now.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.} Remind yourself of the reasons you cannot cry at that moment--you don’t want to cry in front of people you don’t know, or you want to be strong for someone else, etc. Tell yourself that you will let yourself feel sad, but that you need to hold it together for that moment.
- Remember that you are a great person, who has friends and family who love you. Think of what you have achieved in your life, as well as what you hope to achieve in the future. But if you do that it will make you cry more!!
- Research has shown that using positive self-talk has many health benefits beyond easing distress. It can also expand your life, enhance your immunity to the common cold, reduce your chances of developing depression, improve your ability to deal with difficult situations, and reduce your chances of dying from a heart attack.^{[10]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
4
Distract yourself by engaging in something else. The worst thing you could do would be to dwell upon whatever is making you want to cry, especially when you want to keep yourself from crying. Distracting yourself is a temporary way to keep yourself from crying--but know that at some point you will have to face whatever is bothering you.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.}
- Put on a movie that you have been wanting to watch (or an old classic that you really love.) If movies aren’t your thing, grab your favorite book or put on an episode of your favorite TV show.
- Go for a walk to clear your head. Often, being in nature is a great way to distract yourself--invest yourself fully in appreciating the beauty around you and try to avoid thinking of whatever is making you sad.
- Exercise. Exercising releases endorphins and will make you feel better when you are feeling sad. Exercising also makes you focus on what you are doing, rather than how you are feeling.^{[12]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  HelpGuide
  Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
  Go to source}

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Getting Away with a Few Tears

1
Blame your tears on something else. While people around you may see through your white lie, telling it may still help to calm you down.
- Say you have been having really bad allergies. This is a classic excuse for having tears in your eyes--allergies make your eyes watery and red.
- Yawn and then say something like, “yawning always makes my eyes water.”
- Say you think you are getting sick. Often, when people get sick their eyes become glassy. Saying you feel sick also gives you a good excuse to leave the setting you are in.
2
Dry your tears discreetly. If you can’t help but shed a few tears, wiping them away discreetly is the next best thing to keeping yourself from crying.
- Pretend that you're trying to get something out of the corner of your eye, then wipe along the bottom and wipe the tears off the edge. Pressing your index finger lightly into the inside corner of your eye will also help to dab away the tears.
- Pretend you’re sneezing and put your face into the inside of your elbow (so that you can wipe your tears on your arm). If you can’t fake sneeze, just say "false alarm."
3
Remove yourself from the situation. If you are caught up in a negative situation that is making you want to cry, get out of it. This does not necessarily mean storming out of the room. If something is upsetting you, make an excuse to leave the room for a few moments. Taking a step back from whatever is causing you to want to cry will help you to feel better and control your crying.^{[13]
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Research source} By taking a step back, you are distancing yourself both physically and mentally from the problem.
- As you take a step back, breathe in deeply and then exhale just as deeply. You will find that you will feel less inclined to cry.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Letting It Out and Moving On

1
Let yourself cry. Sometimes you just have to let it out and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Crying is a completely natural thing that everyone--really everyone--does. Even if you keep yourself from crying in the moment, you will need to let yourself feel sad at some point. Find a quiet place where you can be alone and let yourself have a good, long cry.
- Allowing yourself to cry may even benefit your mental and physical health. Crying can help your body to release toxins. After a good cry you may also find that you feel happier and less stressed.^{[14]
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  Research source}
- Keep in mind that crying is a sign of mental strength, not weakness.
2
Examine why you want to cry or are crying. Taking time to think about what is making you cry or feel like crying is important. Once you find the reason behind your tears, you will be able to analyze it more fully and come up with a solution or a way to make yourself feel better. Think about what is happening that is making you feel like crying. Is there a specific person or situation that is making you feel this way? Has something recently happened that is making you feel sad, such as a breakup or the death of a loved one? Or is there another reason that you keep finding yourself fighting off tears?^{[15]
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Research source}
- If you cannot determine the cause of your tears on your own, consider speaking with a therapist for help. If you cry a lot or often feel like crying, you may be depressed and need to be treated for depression.^{[16]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
3
Write in a journal or diary. Writing your thoughts down will help you to sort them out and feel better.^{[17]
X
Expert Source

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.} Journaling can also help you to deal with stress, anxiety, and depression. For best results, set aside a few minutes every day to write about your thoughts and feelings. You can structure your journal any way that you like and write about whatever you want.^{[18]
X
Trustworthy Source
University of Rochester Medical Center
Leading academic medical center in the U.S. focused on clinical care and research
Go to source}
- If a specific person has made you want to cry, try writing them a letter. Writing down what you feel can often be easier than saying your thoughts out loud. Even if you don’t give the person the letter, you will feel better after having expressed what you have been feeling and thinking.
4
Talk to someone. After you have let yourself cry, you should talk to someone about what you are experiencing. Talk to a close friend, family member, or therapist about whatever is making you want to cry. As the saying goes, two heads are better than one, and the person you talk to will help you resolve the challenges you are facing.
- Talking to someone will also allow you to feel like you are not alone in the situation. If you feel like you are carrying around the weight of the world, talk to someone and let them help you sort out what you are thinking and feeling.
- Talking therapy is very beneficial for people who are dealing with depression, anxiety, loss, health problems, relationship problems, and more. Consider speaking to a therapist if you continue to have trouble with crying or if you have problems that you want to discuss with someone in a safe, confidential environment.^{[19]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  National Health Service (UK)
  Public healthcare system of the UK
  Go to source}
5
Distract yourself with things you love. Taking time to enjoy your hobbies can help you to gain a new perspective during a difficult time.^{[20]
X
Research source} Set aside time every week to enjoy one of your hobbies. Even if you feel like you will never be able to fully engage in the world around you because you are so sad, you will soon find that you are actually having fun and laughing.
- Surround yourself with people that make you happy. Do fun things that you like to do like going hiking, painting, etc. Go to a party and meet new people, or dress up with your friends and throw your own party. Immerse yourself in activities--filling up your time is a great way to distract yourself from feeling sad.

Warnings

If you're thinking of hurting yourself or others, seek immediate help.

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If you feel like you don't have someone to talk to, seek professional help. Go to your school counselor or to a therapist. There will always be someone willing to listen. Even talking to another adult you trust that isn't in your family can help.

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If you have hidden depression and/or you are feeling suicidal, talk to a trusted adult about your true feelings and see how you can get help and treatment. If you're in the United States, you can also call or text 988 immediately for help with suicidal thoughts; do whatever possible to keep yourself safe!

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It's not healthy to hold back tears, and it can even lead to problems such as with digestion and blood pressure. Holding back tears can also cause even more emotional problems, and if you don't cry out your feelings for a long time, it may lead to a severe mental breakdown. ^{[21]
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