A Guide to Playfully Flirting with a Girl over Text Message

Make her laugh and create some sexual tension with these funny and flirtatious texts

Co-authored by Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC and Dev Murphy

Last Updated: January 16, 2023 References

Whether you’re chatting with your girlfriend or a girl you’re crushing on, teasing is a great way to make her laugh and strengthen the bond you share. There are lots of different methods to choose from when teasing a girl over text, from poking playful fun at her taste, mocking her, or giving her a cute nickname. Keep reading to learn about the many ways of successfully teasing a girl over text, as well as the purpose of teasing and advice about how to tease appropriately.

Things You Should Know

Give her a nickname that pokes friendly fun at her interests or personality. It’ll show her you’re comfortable around her and that you see her.
Tease her about her taste or other aspects of her personality. This could lead to a friendly debate between the two of you that’ll increase intimacy.
Joke about the two of you dating to hint that you’re interested in taking your relationship to the next level.
Stay attuned to signs she’s not comfortable with your teasing, and be sure to avoid subjects you know will cross the line. If she seems unhappy, back off.

1

Give her a fun nickname.

Nicknames are a great way to enhance the intimacy between you both. Giving her a nickname can make her feel seen and appreciated, especially if it’s unique. Come up with a nickname that pokes playful fun at her personality or interests, or one that references an inside joke you both share, but avoid teasing her about subject matter you know she might be sensitive about. Nicknames may seem like superficial fun on the surface, but they indicate that you’re paying attention to her, you feel comfortable around her, and you value your relationship.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Think of a nickname that playfully mocks something about her—for instance, if she’s a big reader, you can make fun of her reading habits by calling her Little Miss Word Nerd.
- Come up with a nickname that puns on her actual name: for instance, if her name is Catherine, try Kitty Cat.
- Rhyming nicknames are always popular, like Sexy Lexy or Hannah Banana.
- If you’re not dating and you want to be, give her a nickname that’s “sarcastically” romantic, like Boo or Babe, “as a joke.” Eventually, play romance may turn into actual romance.

2

Joke about her flaws or embarrassing habits.

Making playful fun of her hobbies shows you accept her for who she is. Does she have a habit of eating her sandwiches without the crust? Maybe she has a lucky T-shirt she refuses to chuck, even though it’s faded and riddled with holes. Maybe clumsiness is her defining trait. Making fun of the embarrassing or silly aspects of her personality is a way to show you’re paying attention to her enough to see her flaws—and you like her anyway.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- “You’re such a klutz, Margaret! This is why we can’t have nice things!”
- “Wah, little baby can’t handle sammiches with crust on! Lmao!”
- “When did you get that T-shirt again, Sasha? Circa 200 B.C.?”

3

Mimic her.

Poke friendly fun at her by imitating what she says or does. Mimicking her isn’t just a way to provoke her and get her playfully riled up, it’s also a way to show you’re paying attention to her and may subconsciously make her feel more drawn to you!^{[3]
X
Research source} In person, you can suggest you’re mimicking her by changing your voice; in text, however, you can suggest you’re mimicking her by putting what you say in quotation marks or even going over the top and making it obvious you’re making fun.
- For instance, if she says, “Ugh, I don’t want to go to work tomorrow,” reply with, “My name is Kallie and I’m too lazy to work tomorrow!”
- If you notice she uses a particular word or phrase a lot—such as “no bones about it” or “copacetic”—use it in a sentence back to her so she knows you’re making fun of her language habits (and that you’re paying attention to them).
- Tack a laughing or winking emoji onto the end of your text so she knows you’re messing with her.
- It can be difficult to tell what someone is feeling over text, but if she stops responding, responds with a question mark, or suddenly says goodbye, consider these signs she didn’t appreciate your text. Apologize or change topics.

4

Suggest she has questionable taste.

Increase intimacy by making lighthearted fun of her taste. Making light of her favorite books, movies, restaurants, or other superficial aspects of her personality is a fun and friendly way to make her feel seen and accepted. It could also lead to a friendly debate between you both, which is another great way of enhancing intimacy and sexual tension.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- “Your favorite movie is Spy Kids 2? That’s it, we can’t be friends anymore.”
- “You are the only person in the world who doesn’t like the Beatles! Seriously, give me one good reason why you don’t like them.”
- “Your childhood crush was on Bela Lugosi?! You’re such a weirdo!”
- Stop if she doesn’t respond positively. If she seems put off by your texts, or if you know based on past attempts to tease that she doesn’t respond well to it, consider keeping your texts humorous and sincere without venturing into teasing.

5

Pretend she's coming onto you.

Joking that she’s hitting on you will plant the idea of dating in her head. If you’re not already involved, invite the possibility of taking your relationship to the next level by playfully asking her if she’s coming onto you.^{[5]
X
Research source} After she says something innocuously friendly, reply with an over-the-top accusation that she’s flirting with you.
- For instance, if she says, “I like that jacket you wore today,” reply with, “Are you saying you think I’m drop-dead gorgeous? That’s what I’m hearing!”
- If she asks about studying together, say, “Are you asking me out?” But be sure to follow it up with a winky face so she knows you’re kidding around.
- If she compliments you, respond with, “Are you trying to seduce me?”

6

Joke that things will never work out between you.

Provoke her interest by playing hard to get. Hear us out: joking about things not working out romantically between the two of you is actually a way to hint that you want to be romantically involved. It'll test her interest in you as well as increase demand for yourself. Make fun of her by suggesting that her taste in movies, her personality, or something else lighthearted and superficial is the reason things would never work between you.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Tone can be difficult to read over text, so be sure to make it clear you’re joking around. Consider following up a playful text with a “haha” or “lol,” or add a winking emoji.
- “You don’t like David Bowie?! It would never work out between us! Lol.”
- “You aced that math test? You’re way too good for me babe! We don’t stand a chance together lmao.”
- “We wouldn’t last a month dating haha.”

7

Roleplay as a couple.

If you’re not already dating, fake romance can sometimes lead to real romance. Just as joking about things never working out between you both can plant the idea of dating into her head, so can roleplaying as a real couple.^{[7]
X
Research source} It’ll give her a taste of what dating you would actually be like—and maybe make her want to try it.
- “Hi, honey, how was your day?”
- “Can’t wait to be an old fart in a rocking chair with you in 60 years lol.”
- “I was so sad I didn’t see you today! That’s it, we’re breaking up!”

8

Invoke cliches related to her lifestyle or history.

Stereotype her job, home state, or another harmless fact to make her laugh. Draw from characteristics or cliches related to her personality or history to make a clever joke. You can also use this as an opportunity to flirt by inserting yourself into the joke. Just be sure to joke kindly about superficial aspects of her life, and back off if she seems offended or uncomfortable.^{[8]
X
Research source} Augment the text with a flirty or funny emoji so she knows it’s all good fun.
- “Oh, you’re from Tennessee? You got any whiskey on you?”
- “You’re a lawyer? I’d better be careful what I say!”
- “You’re an artist? Can you paint a portrait of me?”

9

Initiate a playful challenge.

Ramp up the sexual tension by daring her to beat you at something. Daring her or insisting she doesn't have what it takes to best you at something is sure to increase the excitement. The fun is in picking a simple or unserious subject—like arm-wrestling or a crossword puzzle—and treating it like a serious competition. Initiating a playful challenge is a great and harmless way to provoke her interest and make her smile.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- “There’s no way you could beat me at this!”
- “I’ll wipe the floor with you.”
- “You think you can beat me? Please! You don’t stand a chance!”
- Take it further by walking the walk: designate a time to meet and compete in the challenge you laid out. By turning the challenge from a brief instance of flirting into a more drawn-out inside joke, you’ll create more intimacy as well as get to spend valuable in-person time together flirting.

10

Joke about how desirable she is.

Make light of how obvious her attractive traits are to show her you like her. Telling her directly that you think she’s beautiful, brainy, hilarious, or kind is one way of conveying you think she’s the bee’s knees, but it can feel a little serious if you’re not sure how she feels back.^{[10]
X
Research source} Get her attention, make her feel good about herself, and hint that you might possibly be interested in taking things to another level by offhandedly joking about her positive traits. Consider augmenting your compliments with some self-deprecating humor.
- “How on Earth are you still single? Make it make sense!”
- “You’re too beautiful to understand the plight of goofy-looking people, like me.”
- “My goal for this year is to convince you to go on Jeopardy! Just know that you owe me half your winnings.”

11

Send her memes and GIFs.

Augment your funny texts with images. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words. When you’re joking around in person, it’s way easier to convey the proper tone and let her know everything you’re saying is totally lighthearted. And that’s an important part of teasing! When teasing over text, following your jokes up with GIFs and memes are both great ways to make her laugh—and effectively let her know that you’re not serious when you make fun of her.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- Follow up a comment about her taste or how things might not work out between you both with a GIF or meme suggesting you’re fooling around. Bonus points for using a GIF of her favorite TV show or movie!
- If you suspect she’s put off by your teasing text, subtly attempt to shift gears into more general joking around, or address it directly by apologizing if you went too far: “Did I cross a line there? I’m really sorry if I did.”
- There are plenty of ways to make a girl laugh and to let your sense of humor shine without making fun of her. Tell jokes that have nothing to do with her but that’ll still make her crack up, like, “What do you call a broken can opener? A can’t opener!”