How to Win a Guy over on the First Date

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

Last Updated: November 5, 2022 References

If you’ve got a first date with a guy you like, then you’ll definitely want to make a good first impression! You may feel nervous, but remember that a date is a chance to have fun and get to know someone new. Creating a good first impression is all about confidence, which includes dressing comfortably and going to a place you’ll enjoy together. During your date, talk about your life and get to know his life, too. By being yourself, you’ll have him planning out your next date before the first one is over.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting Ready for Your Date

1
Dress appropriately for the occasion. Wearing a dress when you’re going on a hike will ruin your mood and the date. Pick clothing that’s going to make you feel comfortable. If you’re going to a nice restaurant in the city, your fancy clothes are perfect. For most activities, though, jeans and a form-fitting shirt are all you need.
- You don’t have to try hard to be stylish or reveal lots of skin. Focus on being comfortable.
2
Wear clothing that displays your personality. There’s no point to dressing up if you hate the clothing. You'll have a much better date when you wear what you love. Look for something that represents who you are as a person, such as particular colors or designs you enjoy.^{[1]
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- Try selecting a favorite outfit that accentuates your best features.
- You can also get your hair and nails done. It’s not necessary, but if it helps you feel confident, it’s worth it.
- Put on makeup if that’s what suits you. If you think that you look better natural, that’s also fine!
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3
Choose an ideal dating venue. Many times the guy is expected to choose the venue, but don’t be afraid to offer suggestions. Discuss locations both of you will enjoy. Consider picking a place or activity that relieves some of the pressure to talk.^{[2]
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- Some date ideas include bowling, a hike and picnic in a park, an art gallery tour, or going to the zoo.
- Many people choose a dinner and a movie, but it’s often difficult to maintain a conversation for that long.
4
Arrange transportation to the date. Ideally, both of you will drive separately. When you have your own transportation, you can go home when you want. If you live far apart, then one person won’t have to drive a long way. Riding together is is okay, but discuss your plans first to make sure this is the best option.^{[3]
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- If you live far apart, you can also take public transportation so he doesn’t have to pick you up.
- If you met him online, asking him to pick you up from your place is not a good idea. Choose a neutral location to meet, and don’t disclose much personal information until you get to know him in person.
5
Decide on boundaries in your own mind before the date. You don’t need to discuss your boundaries with your date unless they become an issue. This is only a first date, so it shouldn’t be too intense. Plan on spending a couple of hours together before returning home. If he does anything you don’t like, remind yourself that it’s okay to tell him.^{[4]
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- For example, say, “I’m not comfortable with that” or “That’s too late for me. If you want to go out earlier, that’s okay.”
- You can extend the date if you are having a good time. Don’t feel pressured to go somewhere else, though.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Enjoying Your Date

1
Stick to positive conversational topics. There are plenty of things you could complain about, such as the service, the food, or a past boyfriend. These all give him a negative impression of you. Stay relaxed and keep the mood light to remind him of why he agreed to this date. The more you show that you are fun and easy to hang out with and cool to talk to, the better!
- For example, don’t say, “This food is disgusting and that person gave me a dirty look.” You can have him taste the food and say what he thinks and forget about the other person.
- You can mention difficult topics such as politics or religion, but keep the tone friendly. For example, you can say “That’s interesting, I’m not familiar with that viewpoint” instead of trying to change his mind about something.
2
Share details about your life. He’s trying to get to know you, so let him into your world. Talk about your ambitions and dreams. Mix in some funny stories about real experiences you’ve had in the past. Sharing these starts up conversations, which helps the two of you relax and connect.^{[5]
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- Stories about your life show him your personality. They also show that you have a life outside relationships.
- For example, talk about how much you’d like to become a veterinarian and travel the world.
3
Ask your date questions about himself. For a good conversation to happen, you have to express interest in him. Don’t talk about boring topics like his job. Instead, ask him about his hobbies and life goals. You may find things you have in common.^{[6]
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- For example, if he is wearing a t-shirt with a band logo, ask him about the band or where he got the shirt.
- If he talks about something you’re not interested in, ask a few polite questions. Don’t claim you like something if you don’t, though.
4
Practice active listening techniques. Listening means focusing in on what your date says. Instead of crossing your arms, keep your body posture open. Nod and smile while he’s speaking. Think about what he said without judgment, then come up with an honest, respectful response.^{[7]
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- For example, if he talks about how much he enjoys attending baseball games, ask him, “What’s your favorite team? When did you go to your first game?”
5
Touch him gently to convey interest. He’ll probably be nervous about crossing into your personal space. You can break the touch barrier with some light gestures. Little touches on the arm, on the elbow, or on the back while you’re talking are tremendous signs of interest. Try grazing his leg with your own or brushing your hand against his as you reach for something. Physical activities like roller skating also make this a natural part of the date.^{[8]
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- Establishing light contact usually makes the rest of the date feel less tense.
- You can subtly flirt by leaning forward, blinking slowly, or playing with your hair, but a lot of times guys miss these gestures.
6
Go for a walk after your date's main event. If you sat down during the date, get active. Step outside and enjoy nature together. Take a stroll through the park or along the beach. Walking in a public area is an excuse to extend the date, and it's a good follow-up to vegetating in a movie seat.
7
Maintain good manners during the date. Put your best foot forward by being polite to everyone around you. Thank people when necessary, such as your date if he drives or a restaurant server for bringing food. Be respectful by being responsible for yourself, such as by apologizing when you make a mistake or offering to pay for your own food.^{[9]
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- Alcohol affects the way you act. To be safe, don’t have more than your date does.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Ending and Following up Your Date

1
Read his body language. The way he carries himself shows how well the date went. When he’s sitting, see if he spreads his legs. While talking, look for him to raise his eyebrows and use wide hand gestures. He may fix his hair, brush yours out of your face, or stretch his hand towards you. These are all signs that often indicate the guy likes you.^{[10]
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- At the end of the date, he won’t try to leave you right away. He won’t cross his arms or hide his hands, but he’ll lean towards you. He may still be nervous, so you may have to initiate a kiss.
2
Talk about having a second date. Most people hint at a second date but don’t settle on one. This leads to confusion and a lot of waiting by the phone. The best second date ideas come from your conversations, and you can hint at doing activities together during your date. It gives him an excuse to see you again.^{[11]
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- For example, if you talk about zoo animals, say, “I haven’t been to the zoo since I was 9. We should go there sometime.”
- Some other second date ideas include taking a bike ride, playing mini-golf, going to a sporting event, or playing board games at home.
3
Wait at least a day before contacting him again. Put down the phone for a few hours. Give him time to miss you and reach out to you about meeting again. Within two or three days, he’ll contact you if he’s interested. If he doesn’t, you can send a brief message to encourage him to set up a second date.
- If you talked about going to the zoo, your message can say, “Hey, I’ve been looking forward to seeing the monkeys!”
- If he doesn’t respond at all, it’s better to move on. Don’t continue trying to contact him.
4
Schedule the next date for a few days later. Two or three days is an ideal waiting time. Meet up too early and you’ll intrude on his personal space. Meet up too late and he’ll forget how he felt during your first date. However, be aware that your schedules may clash, so waiting longer than this may be unavoidable.
- Whatever you do, be respectful of his schedule and don’t pressure him or send a barrage of messages before the second date.