How to Woo a Girl

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: February 9, 2023 References

Did a girl catch your eye, but you don't know how to woo her? While every girl is different, there are a few things you can do to increase your chances of success. Read this wikiHow for some advice.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Making an Impression

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Break the ice. This can seem scary to do, but once you have done this, holding a conversation and laughing will be easy, and you will be able to build a friendship. There are lots of different ways that you can break the ice, but just remember to make a good first impression. You don't want her to remember you for being a jerk or making a really offensive joke!^{[1]
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- A good laugh is always a smart way to break the ice. For example, you would show this webpage to her, and have a laugh over what is written and the whole idea of having such a page as well.
- Learn to be spontaneous.^{[2]
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  Research source} Taking an improv acting class can help with ideas for breaking the ice, and can help you be confident with talking to new people. Ideas flow, and it becomes easier to enter into and disengage from conversation, and can help you be more comfortable with any situation.
2
Make her laugh. Girls love guys with a great sense of humor. Don't be offensive or mean with your humor, because you'll make her worry that you also say bad things about her when she's not around. Instead, be smart with your humor.^{[3]
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Research source} Look at comedians like Louis CK and Aziz Ansari for some examples.
- This doesn't mean you should never take anything seriously though, or else you'll come off as a clown.
- Try to know her a little bit more before you attempt to be jocular (certain jokes for you might not be funny to her). Knowing her culture, her background, and most importantly things she likes will also be helpful.
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3
Dress like you mean business. Fashion isn't just for girls... it's for guys to be recognized by girls too. Get a good pair of shoes. A pair of nice jeans will also look cool...just make sure they fit and look nice on your body! Same goes for shirts.^{[4]
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- Don't just buy one outfit. Clothes should never be worn more than twice a week.
4
Keep yourself smelling fresh. Smell is incredibly important in attracting people. While smelling amazing may not be a deal breaker, being stinky is! You'll want to take some basic steps to fight all of the normal body odors that come along with being human!^{[5]
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- Shower often, and not just with water. Actually use soap & give yourself a good scrub to help keep your skin healthy. If you're all sweaty, this step is going to be extra important. Some women are attracted to the smell of fresh sweat, but anything more than a couple hours old will scare them away!
- Get a basic clean-smelling or citrusy cologne or body spray. Use it only lightly. It should be a hint of smell, not a cloud. If you use just a hint, she'll want to lean in to smell you more...a cloud will keep her 5 feet (1.5 m) away!^{[6]
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5
Don't be threatening. You have to remember that girls and women are often subject to violence and are often cautious around guys for this reason. You have to make them feel comfortable if you want them to get the chance to know you. One common mistake is to be a little too much on the stalker side: being too familiar with the girl and too clingy. You have to give girls space. If you stalk them and cling too much, they'll feel harassed and they will start to avoid you.^{[7]
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- Be close, keeping in touch every once in a while, but remember she has friends and doesn't (or shouldn't) want to hang out with just you. Dropping cute text messages once a week or so is okay, though.
- Compliment her in a non-stalker way too. If she's wearing an interesting necklace, say "That's an interesting necklace" or "That's a cool necklace" NOT "I always like your necklaces".
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Master a talent. Everyone has a talent. Develop yours or learn a new one, because talents are super sexy! You'll be sure to get her attention with your skill. Just be sure that it's something you can be passionate about. The passion is the real key, because it makes girls hope that you'll care about them as much as you care about your craft.^{[8]
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- Think about learning to play an instrument. Girls love guys who can serenade them by playing music.
7
Boost your confidence. Nothing is sexier than confidence. However, nothing is as unattractive as arrogance or more annoying than a needy lack of self-esteem. This is why it's important to know what real confidence looks like. Confidence is being willing to be weak or wrong but press forward anyway because you know you can get through it and be a better person in the end.^{[9]
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- When a man is really confident, he doesn't put himself down. He speaks up and gives and defends his opinion. He makes friends and is willing to talk to people he doesn't know.
- A confident man is NOT one that constantly refocuses a conversation on himself or puts others down to build himself up. A confident man is NOT one who thinks he can do no wrong.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Talking With Her

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Always look into her eyes when speaking with her. Looking into her eyes helps tell her that you're paying attention to what she's saying, and she'll appreciate having someone that really listens to her.^{[10]
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Research source} This also will subtly will make her see that you are really taking an interest.
- Just be careful not to get lost in her eyes when she's talking, otherwise the only thing you'll have to respond with is "Wow, you've got pretty eyes."
2
Be careful about teasing. Cute teasing is okay. Something like mimicking how she talks or giving her a funny nickname like "Giggles" is fine and will create a playful relationship between the two of you. Going over the top, however, and constantly putting her down will just make her angry and she'll probably tell people that you're a jerk. This will result in anger and distrust — not exactly what we're aiming for.
- If you accidentally upset a girl when you're teasing her, apologize sincerely. If she accepts your apology, that's a sign that the two of you will be able to deal with conflict in the future.^{[11]
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  Expert Source
  
  Imad Jbara
  Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
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Be sensitive and caring. Let her cry on your shoulder if she's sad. Make her smile when she's feeling crummy. Listen to her when she talks and support her when she's going through a tough time. Women look for relationships with someone who can be their pillar of strength when everything else is going wrong, so show her that you really care for her and that you're up to the task.^{[12]
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- Ask her how she's doing and try to notice her moods. If she's sad, comfort her. If she is mad, ask her "What's wrong?" If you think something's wrong, ask her but if she does not want to talk about it then don't press.
- If you have little siblings, nieces, or nephews, show her that you really care for them. Play with them, watch over and protect them, show the girl that they look up to you.
- Help others in front of her (although you should be helpful anyway). Help the poor and needy to show that how much you care for others. This shows her that you have a good spirit.
4
Find something to share and bond over. Having a couple of things that you enjoy in common is really important for the success of a relationship. Some differences are good and make for excitement and opportunities for personal growth, but you'll need to at least learn to enjoy some of the same things that she does.
- Explore one of her hobbies. Even if it seems really girly or not really your thing, you might end up surprising yourself. Lots of "girly" activities are great ways to reduce stress for guys too!
5
Be honest with her. Don't lie to her, even if you think you're doing her a favor. For example, if she asks you about how she looks in a dress that you hate, give a polite response but don't be rude and tell her that you hate the dress. Just say something like "That's nice but I really liked how you looked in that red dress."
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Make her feel like the center of your universe. Girls want to be with someone that they know will be loyal and that they don't have to worry will just leave them for the next hot girl. This is partially because they want to feel like you really like them, not just how pretty they are or what they might do for you. While being with your girl, make sure your eyes are set on her and only her. It might be hard, but ignore the sexy girl at the next table.^{[13]
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Respect her. Treat her with respect. Make sure that you are not mean to her, ever. Girls simply do not accept that. You should value her opinion, listen to her, never put her down or insult her, and don't do things that you know are hurtful (like flirting with other girls, even when she's not there).
- Don't say rude things about her behind her back. And certainly don't kiss and tell! Behavior like this will get out and you'll not only scare her away, you'll send other girls a message that you're bad dating material too, hurting your future chances.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Creating Romance

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Be willing to lead or follow. Some girls like a guy who leads the way to romance, some girls like to take hold of the reigns. Most enjoy switching it up every now and again. You have to be willing to take charge and make the first move if she's not doing it but you also have to be willing to accept her being dominant too. If you can't, then she's not the right girl for you.
2
Learn to dance. Take some ballroom classes to build your confidence, so you learn to lead a girl through a song. You can even teach yourself using online videos or even wikiHow! Girls love guys that can dance. You might even want to ask her to take dance classes with you, if you're already close or dating. This is a great bonding experience and will give you lots of reasons to hang out.
3
Get to know her best friend. Best friends are a great resource. If you can get close to her best friend, it can be a gateway to learn things about the girl. For example, every girl has talked with her friends about romantic things she wants to happen to her or maybe even a romantic movie that she really likes that you can take ideas from. You can use this information to give her something that is more meaningful than all that cheesy standard romance stuff.
- Just be up-front with the friend. You don't want the friend to fall for you too! A good friend will be more than happy to vet the guy that's interested in her bestie. If you show her how great you are, she'll even want to help you two get together!
- A good review from friends can only help you, while a bad review could put some serious doubts into the girl's head.
4
Be a gentleman about kissing. When you are ready for the first kiss and the mood is right, lean towards her slowly, but don't shove your face into hers. If she doesn't back away, gently lean the rest of the way in for the kiss. Some tips say go halfway there, or 80 or 90 percent. Go with what feels natural for the moment. Going all the way can work, but it depends on the girl. Bottom line: lead the kiss, but let her come to you.^{[14]
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- This will let her be able to make the choice about whether or not she wants to kiss you. This shows her that you respect her and value her feelings, making you both more likely to enjoy the kiss!
- Impress her and show her you're a real gentleman. Don't ever kiss on the first date unless she is ready to.
5
Be original. For example, for Valentine's Day (if you celebrate it) be sweet or thoughtful instead of showy and cliched. A dozen red roses may be the traditional romantic gift, but most girls will be happier with a few of their favorite flowers tied with a red, pink, or white ribbon. Actually remembering a girl's favorites will endear you to her more than any elaborate scheme.
- If it's early in the relationship, though, and you don't know her favorites yet, get her a gift that symbolizes your feelings or reminds you of something that you've done or will do together. For example, give her peach-scented perfume and tell her that the smell reminds you of how each one of her smiles is like a perfect summer day.
6
Learn a poem. You can send a real romantic message by memorizing a poem and writing it to her in a letter or reciting it when the two of you are alone or in a romantic situation. You can also use quotes about love. Not only is this just the right kind of cheesy, but it shows her that you're willing to branch outside of your normal comfort zone in order to make her happy.
7
Know when to make your move. Or, rather, it's important to know that you might never have a clear sign or perfect opportunity. This isn't a teen movie: it's real life. Girls will react in different ways, show their affection or lack of it in different ways...some might say nothing at all! All you can do is let a girl know how you feel as soon as you're really sure. You don't want someone else to come in and sweep her off her feet, so take a chance on love!^{[15]
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Warnings

Don't ever force any girl to do something she doesn't want to do.

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Watch yourself. You can't always act the same around girls as you do around your male friends, especially at first.

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A girl tells her best friend everything. Don't be afraid to hear a comment slip from the friend's lips about something you said. But, on the contrary, there are certain things she will keep to herself. A lot of times, the best friend will keep things for herself too because she doesn't want you to think she's creepy. Don't judge a girl by things her best friend does. If she loves her, then you better get used to her too.

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Do this for every girl you are in a relationship with. If word gets out that you were a jerk to your last girlfriend, no one will want to date you.

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Don't cheat. If you cheat, not only will she find out sooner or later and dump you, but it can emotionally scar her and is very mean.^{[17]
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Research source} If you feel like you need to cheat for any reason, then it's time to re-evaluate your relationship.

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Don't discuss any intimate details about your girl with your friends, it will get out.

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If a girl is known to spread rumors about exes, be extra careful and consider whether this is really the girl for you.

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