How to Change Negative Thought Patterns

Negative thought patterns are a common concern. The thoughts we have can impact our daily life including our emotions and behaviors. It is important to understand how to counter negative thinking in order to reduce these negative consequences. Fortunately, you can learn to change your negative thinking habits by identifying your patterns of thinking, purposefully altering your thinking, thinking more optimistically, and by coping with negative thoughts appropriately.

Method 1
Method 1 of 4:

Identifying Your Negative Thought Patterns

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    List your automatic negative thoughts. Thoughts are directly linked to our feelings and behaviors. Thus, our thoughts influence how we feel, which influences how we behave. One's thoughts are reflected in their actions and gradually what one does repeatedly becomes a habit and negative thinking is perhaps a habit. All three (thoughts, feelings, and behaviors) influence each other simultaneously. These ideas are central to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a type of treatment that is specifically used to treat negative thought patterns.[1] CBT is effective in reducing negative thought patterns.[2] Listing your negative thoughts helps increase your awareness about your thinking and can improve your ability to change your thoughts into healthier alternatives.[3]
    • Some examples of negative thoughts are, "I am so stupid, nothing is going right for me, something bad is going to happen, [and] I know I am going to fail." If you keep on thinking like this you yourself get so scared that something bad will happen with you and you have a chance to become a prophet if you keep on doing this.
    • If you are unsure about what some of your thought patterns might be, ask family members or friends if they can point out any thought patterns that you have said to them that they think are negative or unhelpful.
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    Explore the causes of your negative thought patterns. Knowing where your thought patterns come from can help you identify why they occur. Situations from the past may have resulted in your unhelpful thinking habits.[4]
    • Identify the reasons or situations that resulted in each negative automatic thought. For example, if you think, "I am no good," identify the situations that contributed to this thought. Certain circumstances may include: my mother told me to get good grades and I didn't, I got fired from my job, my relationship ended, and my friend treats me poorly. Also in whatever unhelpful situation you've made yourself caught up in, will end and has to end but all you have to do is keep tolerating and being patient with yourself to recover from the grief or whatever unhappy feeling you are experiencing and in such situations thinking negatively just won't help instead it would make you more open to getting caught up in unhelpful situations,
    • It may also be helpful to then identify when and how these thoughts tend to occur because you can begin to see patterns in your thinking. What were the circumstances? Who was present? Where were you? For instance, if you sometimes think you are stupid, identify where this tends to occur, who is around typically, and where you are. You may begin to notice patterns. For example, perhaps you think, "I am stupid," when you are late for work, at work, or alone. Rather than thinking negatively do something to avoid such problems, also when you start thinking negatively try to channel your thoughts in some other direction.
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    Form your list into patterns. It is important to first identify the specific thought patterns you have before trying to change anything. Our automatic negative thoughts sometimes develop into patterns of thinking called core beliefs. These are also called unhelpful thinking habits, which can become ingrained in our mind.[5] Not only are they unhelpful, but these thoughts do not reflect reality. They are extreme thoughts that do not take into account the many other details that make up the events of life or people. Write down which patterns or habits you tend to have. For example, if you tend to think, "I am stupid," this thought would fit into the pattern of critical self-talk.[6] There are specific types of thinking errors that are common such as:
    • Catastrophizing is thinking the worst will happen such as, “Something bad is going to happen.”
    • Over-generalizing is making a conclusion about your life pattern based on one isolated incident and thinking, “I always make this mistake.”
    • Mind-reading is thinking you know what others are thinking. For example, “I know that she doesn’t like me.”
    • Predicting the future is believing you know what will happen such as, “I am going to fail.”
    • Critical self-talk is thinking negative thoughts about yourself such as, "It is all my fault. I am so stupid."
    • Black and white thinking is where one thinks something can only be good or bad, there is no middle ground. An example would be if you think, "She is the worst," or, "She is the best," but you do not think, "She can be difficult but she is still a decent person."
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    Determine the consequences. Identify why each thought is negative; this helps to get a grasp on why this particular thought needs changing.[7] For example, if you find that your negative thought of “I’m not good enough” causes you to isolate yourself socially, have low self-esteem, or harm yourself in some way - these are the direct negative consequences. Identify the negative outcomes that have occurred in the past when you have had this reoccurring thought.
    • Next to your list of automatic thoughts, simply list the negative outcomes of having that thought. Do this for every thought pattern you identified.
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    Keep a record of your thoughts. Use a worksheet to identify your negative thoughts on a daily or weekly basis.
    • Identify ideas that support the thought, and ideas that do not support the thought. Use these arguments to identify a thought that is true and more helpful. For example, if you identified the negative thought of, “I’m not good enough,” ideas that go against this thought would be: I am worthy, I try my best, I don’t need to be good enough for anybody, I am good enough for myself.[8] [9]
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Method 2
Method 2 of 4:

Actively Changing Your Unhelpful Thinking Habits

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    Avoid using negative language. Stop using words in your mind such as won't and can't. Allowing negative thoughts to grow within your mind causes them to influence how you react to situations, which can produce negative results.[10] Consciously make an effort to replace these words with will and can. Accept the fact that everyone occasionally fails, but see it as an opportunity to learn from the experience so you can do better next time, but don't forget that don't use "will" too much as it leads to expectations and when these are aren't fulfilled negatives thoughts start crawling up your back.
    • Make a list of negative or extreme words you commonly use such as, "always" or "never." These are examples of black and white thinking errors. Then develop a more balanced perspective or way to speak such as, "most of the time, sometimes, or not very often." Write these options down and begin to notice when you use this language in dialogue. Remind yourself in the moment to use more balanced or middle-ground language.
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    Find the connections between emotions and negative thoughts. Once you identify your unhelpful thinking and develop a list of possible alternative thoughts, you will need to actively focus on your thoughts and change them as soon as you have them. Changing them is easy enough all you need is faith in yourself and concentration in monitoring these thoughts and fending such away as soon as they plunge into your mind.[11]
    • Focus on monitoring your thoughts and notice when you are having a negative thought. You can do this by first noticing when you are experiencing a negative emotion, and then you can think, “What thought led to this emotion?” For example, if you are feeling depressed, wonder to yourself, “Is this because I have been thinking that I am not good enough?”.
    • If you are thinking, “I’m no good,” remember the alternative thought you identified and repeat it to yourself over and over, “I am good enough. I am worthy of love.” Or, you can refer back to your history and incorporate more detail into your thoughts such as, "When I was younger, I was not successful at something I really wanted to do. I am older now and I realize that everyone experiences failure at some point in their lives. Just because I had one time I was not successful, it doesn't mean I'm not good enough in anything I try. I made that mistake in the past, but now I know that if I'm not successful the first time at doing something I really want, I can just try again and practice until I do achieve my goals and dreams."
    • If you continue to practice, eventually these new more balanced thoughts will become second nature. You will become more skilled at it as time goes on, but you have to remember to pay attention to your thoughts and do the work needed to change them.
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    Choose realistic or positive explanations. Anything and everything in life can be viewed as bad or good. An example: If someone gives you a bottle of perfume, it can be because he's fond of you (positive) or because you stink (negative). The trick is to choose the most realistic explanation and tell that to yourself (preferably out loud). Then consider (realistic) reasons why the positive explanation must be correct.[12]
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Method 3
Method 3 of 4:

Thinking More Positively

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    Acknowledge what you are grateful for. Write a list of everything, no matter how big or small, that you are thankful for. Good examples include things like your family, lover, pets, comfortable home, etc. This will help you to appreciate how many positive things there are in your life because it requires you to shift your focus to what you have instead of what you do not have.[13]
    • When things aren't going so well, instead of ruminating about what isn't good, focus on this list of things that are positive in your life. Pay attention to the little things that you may sometimes take for granted such as shelter over your head and food in your stomach.
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    Practice mindfulness. Engaging in mindfulness techniques has been shown to reduce negative automatic thoughts.[14] Mindfulness helps us shift our focus off of the negative. When people have this ability, they have less depression and anxiety. Shifting attention onto the positive prevents rumination, and it is an essential emotional regulation coping skill.[15] Live in the present, not the future, and certainly not the past. Many people spend much of their time deeply regretting events that have already passed or worrying about what may happen, so they miss out on the now. Accept that you can't change the past, but that you have a large amount of control over what you do in the present, which will influence your future.
    • Do mindfulness exercises such as paying direct and focused attention to what you are currently doing such as eating, cleaning, or other daily activities.[16] Attempt to be fully present in the moment and take in everything you experience. Pay attention to how you feel in your body, what you see, and the sensations you have. Focus only on the activity you are engaged in.
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    Treat each day as a new opportunity to achieve a goal. Life gives you new chances and opportunities at every moment. Setting goals for yourself can help to focus your energy on something positive instead of worrying about negative thinking.
    • Start by identifying a few goals you want to work on in the next 6 months. Examples of goals could be: applying for a job, finishing school, buying a car, getting more friends, or anything else that you want to accomplish. Make goals that are achievable and realistic. You can use a worksheet or create your own.[17]
    • Begin each day by focusing on what you are going to do to work toward your goals. Develop enthusiasm for every "large task" that you consider doing and keep mind that the most precious thing is the present, perhaps just wake up with a positive attitude every morning.
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    Accept change. This will prevent you from slipping into negative thoughts telling you that life is out to get you, when it isn't. Recognize that change is a part of life.
    • While some situations in life are definitely difficult (losing a job, losing a loved one), unfortunately some of these situations may be inevitable in life. Things simply may not work out the way we want to sometimes. Attempt to see these situations as opportunities for growth, or universal human experiences (such as loss) that you can get past.[18]
    • Develop personal mantras or positive affirmations that help you accept change such as, "Everything will work out the way it's supposed to," or, "Change opens new doors."[19]
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Method 4
Method 4 of 4:

Coping with Negative Thoughts in the Long-Term

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    Use coping techniques. We all have negative thoughts from time to time. It is important to know not just how to change them, but how to cope with them if they are legitimate thoughts.[20] For example, if you lose a loved one, you may think, “I really miss that person,” and this is a real thought that is true. These kinds of thoughts don’t necessarily need to be changed if they are accurate, based in reality, and helpful. Thus, we need to learn how to cope with negative thinking and situations.
    • Learn to distinguish between negative thoughts that need to be changed, and thoughts that are based in reality. Check to see if your thought fits into any unhelpful thinking categories identified above such as: catastrophizing, predicting the future, critical self-talk, over-generalizing, black and white thinking, and mind-reading.[21] If your thought does not fit into one of these categories, then it may not be a negative thinking habit. If you are dealing with a difficult situation such as grieving a loved one or coping with a medical issue, these are legitimate situations in which some degree of negative thoughts are warranted.
    • Shift your attention or distract yourself with something positive such as a fun activity. This helps prevents rumination on negative thoughts. You can use coping strategies to deal with negative thoughts and emotions such as art, writing, and expressive forms of exercise (dance for example).
    • Get out in nature. The sunshine and fresh air can help you to feel better and to change your perspective. Simply getting up and moving can help to boost your mood and produce positive thoughts.
    • If you are spiritual or religious, try prayer or talking to your higher power.
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    Accept the thought. Avoid trying to immediately change the thought if you have identified that it is true. The idea of acceptance is a core component of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which is about changing your relationship to your thoughts rather than focusing on changing your thoughts directly.[22]
    • We all have negative thoughts from time to time, accept that this is the case and your negative thoughts may have less power.[23]
    • Understand that some thoughts are accurate, while others are not. Do not just believe every thought you have as fact. These are simply ideas that you came up with, which you can disregard if you want to.[24]
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    Focus on your overall physical and mental health. If we are not feeling well physically or mentally, this could increase the amount of negative thinking we have. Better physical health is connected to optimism.[25] Therefore, it is crucial to take care of yourself especially during difficult times.
    • Eat a well-balanced diet filled with fruits, vegetables, protein, and vitamins. Avoid drinking alcohol to excess, using non-prescribed prescription medication, or engaging in other forms of substance use.
    • Exercise is a great way to increase positive emotions and distract yourself from negative thinking. Try new and creative forms of working out like hiking, rock climbing, dancing, aerobics, martial arts, and yoga.
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    Find guidance and support. Looking at this article is a great start. Reading the experiences of others is another way to see that changing your thought patterns from bad to good is entirely achievable. Browse on the Internet for "positivity," "positive phrases," etc. There are many positive people out there that wish to help others to banish negative thinking.
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    Get treatment. If your negative thoughts cause you to have extreme emotions or to engage in risky or harmful behaviors, therapy or other treatment may be necessary. Some signs you need to see a professional are if you experience: thoughts of harming yourself or others, depressed or irritable mood for more than a few weeks, difficulty concentrating, changes in sleep (sleeping too much or too little), changes in weight or appetite, loss of energy, loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, irritability, and restlessness.
    • Contact a psychologist, Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), or marriage and family therapist (MFT). There are several treatments that specifically help people alter negative thinking including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). DBT is a form of treatment that helps individuals improve their distress tolerance (coping with negative thoughts and emotions), learn mindfulness skills, and be effective in relationships.
    • Explore medication options. If your negative thoughts are severe (thoughts about self-harm, harming others) or result in recurrent depressed or anxious mood, you could have a larger mental health concern. If this is the case, medication is often an option to treat emotional symptoms and sometimes severe thought processes (such as delusional thinking). Consult a psychiatrist for an evaluation, or to discuss psychotropic options.[26]
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Expert Q&A
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  • Question
    How can I challenge negative thoughts?
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Love & Empowerment Coach
    Jennifer Butler is a Love & Transformation Coach and the Owner of JennJoyCoaching, a life coaching business based in Miami, Florida, although Jennifer works with clients all over the world. Jennifer’s work centers around empowering women who are navigating any stage of the divorce or breakup process. She has over four years of life coaching experience. She is also the co-host of the Deep Chats Podcast along with Leah Morris and the host of season 2 “Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle” by Worthy. Her work has been featured in ESME, DivorceForce, and Divorced Girl Smiling. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from New York University. She is also a Certified Health Coach, a Communications & Life Mastery Specialist, and a Certified Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “the One” coach.
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Love & Empowerment Coach
    Expert Answer

    Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

    One thing you can do is catch the thoughts as they're happening and then redirect them. So, if you often find yourself thinking, "I never do anything right and I'm going to get fired," catch yourself as soon as you say, "I never do anything right" and then finish the sentence with "except this time I'm going to nail it and the boss is going to give me a promotion." This is the best way to stop that downward momentum of a negative thought.
  • Question
    What should I do if I can't stop critiquing myself?
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Love & Empowerment Coach
    Jennifer Butler is a Love & Transformation Coach and the Owner of JennJoyCoaching, a life coaching business based in Miami, Florida, although Jennifer works with clients all over the world. Jennifer’s work centers around empowering women who are navigating any stage of the divorce or breakup process. She has over four years of life coaching experience. She is also the co-host of the Deep Chats Podcast along with Leah Morris and the host of season 2 “Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle” by Worthy. Her work has been featured in ESME, DivorceForce, and Divorced Girl Smiling. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from New York University. She is also a Certified Health Coach, a Communications & Life Mastery Specialist, and a Certified Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “the One” coach.
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Love & Empowerment Coach
    Expert Answer

    Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

    Flip the script and start writing down every success you've had. Start listing everything you've ever accomplished. Maybe you learned how to walk all the way to you got your first job, or you've graduated high school, or you learned how to drive or whatever. Just flip the script and start looking for evidence of the truth!
  • Question
    How can I stop having negative thoughts?
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Love & Empowerment Coach
    Jennifer Butler is a Love & Transformation Coach and the Owner of JennJoyCoaching, a life coaching business based in Miami, Florida, although Jennifer works with clients all over the world. Jennifer’s work centers around empowering women who are navigating any stage of the divorce or breakup process. She has over four years of life coaching experience. She is also the co-host of the Deep Chats Podcast along with Leah Morris and the host of season 2 “Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle” by Worthy. Her work has been featured in ESME, DivorceForce, and Divorced Girl Smiling. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from New York University. She is also a Certified Health Coach, a Communications & Life Mastery Specialist, and a Certified Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “the One” coach.
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Jennifer Butler, MSW
    Love & Empowerment Coach
    Expert Answer

    Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

    We all have negative thoughts from time to time—when you accept that this is the case, your negative thoughts may have less power. You don't want to ignore or stop these thoughts; they're there for a reason. Instead of ignoring them, analyze them. Once you understand where those thoughts are coming from, you can start challenging and correcting them.
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Warnings

  • Don't allow negative thoughts to slip back into your mind. They will try to occasionally, but nip these in the bud and switch them to positive ones instantly. This will create a positive thought pattern instead of a negative one.
    ⧼thumbs_response⧽
  • If you have thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, see a psychologist or medical doctor as soon as possible.
    ⧼thumbs_response⧽
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References

  1. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/AutomaticThoughts.pdf
  2. ↑ http://espace.library.uq.edu.au/view/UQ:10854/oeibcp3002.pdf
  3. ↑ Jennifer Butler, MSW. Confidence Coach. Expert Interview. 31 July 2020.
  4. ↑ Jennifer Butler, MSW. Confidence Coach. Expert Interview. 31 July 2020.
  5. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/UnhelpfulThinkingHabits.pdf
  6. ↑ Jennifer Butler, MSW. Confidence Coach. Expert Interview. 31 July 2020.
  7. ↑ http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/6%20Challenging%20my%20perfectionistic%20thinking.pdf
  8. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/SituationLogsheet.pdf
  9. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/FindingAlternativeThoughts.pdf
  1. ↑ http://www.psychotherapy.net/data/uploads/5110394f10a74.pdf
  2. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/FindingAlternativeThoughts.pdf
  3. ↑ Jennifer Butler, MSW. Confidence Coach. Expert Interview. 31 July 2020.
  4. ↑ http://www.baylor.edu/content/services/document.php/25080.pdf
  5. ↑ http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10608-007-9142-1#page-1
  6. ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2901125/
  7. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/Mindfulness.pdf
  8. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/SMARTgoals.pdf
  9. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/Defusing%20Exercises.pdf
  10. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/PositiveAffirmations.pdf
  11. ↑ http://is.muni.cz/el/1421/jaro2008/PSB_01/um/Struthers.pdf
  12. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/UnhelpfulThinkingHabits.pdf
  13. ↑ http://scholarworks.gsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1090&context=psych_facpub
  14. ↑ Jennifer Butler, MSW. Confidence Coach. Expert Interview. 31 July 2020.
  15. ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/Defusing%20Exercises.pdf
  16. ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4161121/
  17. ↑ http://www.adaa.org/finding-help/treatment/medication

About This Article

Jennifer Butler, MSW
Co-authored by:
Jennifer Butler, MSW
Love & Empowerment Coach
This article was co-authored by Jennifer Butler, MSW. Jennifer Butler is a Love & Transformation Coach and the Owner of JennJoyCoaching, a life coaching business based in Miami, Florida, although Jennifer works with clients all over the world. Jennifer’s work centers around empowering women who are navigating any stage of the divorce or breakup process. She has over four years of life coaching experience. She is also the co-host of the Deep Chats Podcast along with Leah Morris and the host of season 2 “Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle” by Worthy. Her work has been featured in ESME, DivorceForce, and Divorced Girl Smiling. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from New York University. She is also a Certified Health Coach, a Communications & Life Mastery Specialist, and a Certified Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “the One” coach. This article has been viewed 271,080 times.
32 votes - 82%
Co-authors: 23
Updated: March 14, 2021
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Categories: Managing Negative Feelings
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