How to Develop Positive Work Relationships

Co-authored by Lauren Krasny and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: August 25, 2021 References Approved

The people you work with can make or break your job satisfaction levels. Building positive workplace relationships can help you work together, be more productive, and enjoy your job even more. While it might take some time to truly get to know your colleagues, there are a few things you can do today to start strengthening your workplace relationships.

1

Get to know your co-workers.

Try to learn about them on a personal level, not just a professional one. The next time you are early to a meeting, take a minute to chat with those around you. Small talk might not seem like much, but it can actually help you discover things that you have in common with your officemates.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Lauren Krasny
Executive, Strategic, & Personal Coach
Expert Interview. 27 March 2020.}
- If you’re feeling stuck or you don’t know what to talk about, ask questions. People like to talk about themselves, so start with what they did over the weekend or how their kids are doing.
- You could say something like, “Hey Harry, how was your long weekend?” or, “Suzie, how were your holidays?”

2

Find common connections.

You probably have something in common with all your co-workers. Try to work out what that is to build a stronger relationship with everyone in your workplace. People like to talk about themselves, so if you get stuck, just ask!^{[2]
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- Do you both like sports? Do you both go hiking? Are you both into board games? Are your kids around the same ages? Do you both drink tea instead of coffee?

3

Listen actively and attentively.

This is an important part of open communication. When talking to your co-workers, ask follow-up questions and paraphrase their statements so they know you’re listening. You should also try to maintain eye contact and face the person you’re talking to so you look open and attentive.^{[3]
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- For example, if your colleague says, “I’m having trouble with my report.” Ask a follow-up question like, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

4

Be respectful of everyone you work with.

You can respect your coworkers even if you aren't their biggest fan. Think about the positive qualities that your co-workers bring to the table to remember that you’re all here for the same reason.^{[4]
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- If you respect your co-workers, it’s much more likely that they’ll respect you, too.
- One way to demonstrate respect is to offer positive affirmations. For example, you could say, "Sally, I really admire the way you handled yourself with that difficult client. Not everyone can remain so calm under pressure."

5

Communicate clearly and effectively.

The foundation of every good relationship is solid communication. Try to be open and honest with your colleagues, and don’t assume anyone knows what you want without explicitly asking for it. This goes for emails, text messages, phone calls, and face-to-face interactions.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Lauren Krasny
Executive, Strategic, & Personal Coach
Expert Interview. 27 March 2020.}
- Choose your words carefully. Make sure that you clearly articulate your points and state exactly what you mean. This will help avoid confusion about goals or expectations.

6

Try to maintain a positive attitude.

Positivity in the workplace is contagious. You don’t have to show up with a smile on your face every day, but try to look on the bright side of situations instead of bringing people down. Chances are, your co-workers will look forward to seeing you if you have a good attitude.^{[6]
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- A negative attitude might make people hesitant to interact with you throughout the workday.
- For example, if your team missed a deadline, you could focus on the positive by saying, “well, at least we’ll know how to manage our time better for the next project.”

7

Forgive people for their mistakes.

Everyone messes up every now and again. If your co-worker or colleague makes a mistake, try to move past it as quickly as you can.^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
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- For example, if your co-worker forgot to send an email to a client, just ask them to set better reminders for themselves next time.
- Think about how you’d like to be treated if you made a mistake, then treat your co-worker the same way.
- You should also try not to hold grudges once you’ve moved past the mistake.

8

Take constructive criticism.

It might feel uncomfortable, but it will help your workplace relationships flourish. Allow your co-workers or colleagues to tell you how you could be doing better (respectfully, of course).^{[8]
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- Constructive criticism can help you improve both as a worker and as a colleague, so it benefits everyone.

9

Offer to help when you can.

If you notice someone struggling, work together to find a solution. Don’t take on more work than you can handle, but offer to assist your colleague so they don’t feel so stressed.^{[9]
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- For example, if your co-worker needs help compiling reports, you could offer to organize their files for them.
- Sometimes helping a co-worker or colleague isn’t possible, in which case you can just give moral support or words of advice instead.

10

Avoid gossiping about others.

Talking about people behind their backs can only lead to negativity. If your co-workers try to engage you in gossip, politely steer the conversation the other way.^{[10]
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- If you’re the boss, you could institute a “no gossip” rule. While you can’t make your employees follow this, it’s still nice to set the expectation.
- For example, if someone tries to talk about another co-worker with you, you could say something like, “Oh, I haven’t heard about that. But I’ve been meaning to ask you—how are you liking your new house?”

11

Stay away from assumptions.

It can be easy to interpret your colleague’s tone as negativity. However, assuming something without proof can lead to resentment. Try not to assume anything about your co-workers to avoid unnecessary negativity.^{[11]
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- This is especially true for online communication, like emails. Since you can’t hear their tone of voice, you might assign it a negative one instead of a neutral or even positive one.

Expert Q&A
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Question

What are positive working relationships?

Lauren Krasny
Executive, Strategic, & Personal Coach
Lauren Krasny is a Leadership and Executive Coach and the Founder of Reignite Coaching, her professional and personal coaching service based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She also currently coaches for the LEAD Program at Stanford University Graduate School of Business and is a former Digital Health Coach for Omada Health and Modern Health. Lauren received her coaching training from the Coach Training Institute (CTI). She holds a BA in Psychology from the University of Michigan.

Lauren Krasny

Executive, Strategic, & Personal Coach

Expert Answer

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Generally speaking, a positive working relationship is one founded on mutual respect. So long as you have a friendly rapport, a good understanding of everyone's duties, and a productive and collaborative relationship at work, it's a positive working relationship.
Question

How do you communicate with colleagues at work?

Lauren Krasny
Executive, Strategic, & Personal Coach
Lauren Krasny is a Leadership and Executive Coach and the Founder of Reignite Coaching, her professional and personal coaching service based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She also currently coaches for the LEAD Program at Stanford University Graduate School of Business and is a former Digital Health Coach for Omada Health and Modern Health. Lauren received her coaching training from the Coach Training Institute (CTI). She holds a BA in Psychology from the University of Michigan.

Lauren Krasny

Executive, Strategic, & Personal Coach

Expert Answer

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Start by being open and honest with them at all times. Establish open lines of communication so there's a constant back-and-forth between you. Additionally, tell them exactly what you need from them and when you need it so everyone is on the same page.
Question

How do you get to know new colleagues?

Lauren Krasny
Executive, Strategic, & Personal Coach
Lauren Krasny is a Leadership and Executive Coach and the Founder of Reignite Coaching, her professional and personal coaching service based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She also currently coaches for the LEAD Program at Stanford University Graduate School of Business and is a former Digital Health Coach for Omada Health and Modern Health. Lauren received her coaching training from the Coach Training Institute (CTI). She holds a BA in Psychology from the University of Michigan.

Lauren Krasny

Executive, Strategic, & Personal Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Engage in some small talk to get to know them. Ask them questions and really listen to their answers. Keep these conversations short, but have them on a regular basis.