How to Feel Normal if You're from a Different Race

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: May 19, 2021 References

Racism is an ugly reality in our world, though the lasting effects aren’t always visible to the naked eye. Your doubts and insecurities may feel like a weight on your shoulders, but you don’t have to feel alone as you make your way in the world. There are plenty of resources and options available that can help remind you of your worth and help you feel proud and self-assured of who you are!

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Changing Your Mindset

1
Think about what you have in common with everyone else. Your race can make you feel different from others, but there are plenty of things you have in common with the people around you. Keep in mind that every person has their own hopes and dreams that they’d like to accomplish, just like you.
- You may also experience similar struggles with the people around you, from dealing with family issues to fighting against large-scale issues like climate change.
2
Focus on your strengths and talents. As tough as it can be in a judgmental world, try to zero in on the talents and strengths that make you special. Take time each day to focus on these talents and strengths, so you can improve even more.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- For instance, if you love art, take time each day to focus on sketching, painting, or your medium of choice.
- If you love sports, spend time boosting your strength at the gym or practicing outside.
Advertisement
3
Surround yourself with loving, supportive people. Fill your life with friends, family members, and mentors who can continuously remind you of your worth while helping you overcome any obstacles that stand in your way. Consult these individuals whenever you’re having a rough day—they can provide you with the encouragement and validation you need to keep going.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- You can create a support system in a lot of different places, whether it’s a study group, club, or something else.
4
Transform your negative thoughts into positive alternatives. It can be all too easy to feel overwhelmed with negative feelings, like that you somehow aren’t worthy of your accomplishments and achievements. Instead, try to nip this train of thought in the bud by identifying and separating these false, negative thoughts in your mind. Set your emotions aside and try to view things from a neutral, realistic perspective. Try to rebuild your original statement and attitude to reflect reality in a more positive, accurate way.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- For instance, a negative thought may be something like: “I’m not good enough for the job I have, and I don’t know why they hired me.” You can reframe this thought by reminding yourself that your employers looked through your application and specifically chose it above other people’s. Change your thoughts to something like: “I deserve this job because I’m well-qualified for it.”
5
Go easy on yourself when it comes to other people's racial attitudes. Remind yourself that it’s not your duty or job to fix anyone else's racist thoughts and attitudes. It’s up to each individual person to do their own research and make decisions to become kinder, more well-informed people. You have no control over whether people take that initiative, so try to take some of the pressure off yourself.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- You may feel more well-adjusted if you aren’t pressuring yourself to “fix” any racism perpetuated by your friends, family, and/or acquaintances.
6
Take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. It can be really easy to feel isolated, especially if you’ve been attacked or bullied because of your background. As cruel and disheartening as this can be, there are plenty of other people who understand your feelings and experiences all too well. You may feel a little more normal and well-adjusted if you take this to heart.^{[5]
X
Research source}

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Getting Support

1
Talk to a trusted person if racism is impacting your mental health. Sit down with a friend, family member, or other trustworthy individual and let them know how you’ve been feeling. Describe any harassment or hate that you’ve been receiving, and how it’s making you feel. A loved one can provide a listening ear and remind you that you’re not alone and that these experiences don’t reflect on who you are as a person.^{[6]
X
Research source}
2
Speak with a healthcare professional if you’re suffering from anxiety or depression. Schedule an appointment with a counselor, psychiatrist, or another mental health professional if you’re really struggling with your thoughts and mindsets. Remember—there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help, especially if you’ve been dealing with negative, anxious feelings for a long time. Healthcare professionals can help give you the resources you need, and point you in safe, healthy direction.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Speaking with a mental health professional can help you reframe your thoughts, which may help you feel more normal.
3
Join a support group or community for a sense of solidarity. Search online for a support group that caters to your background, whether it meets in-person or online. Feel free to share your struggles with some of the other members. You may be surprised to see how much you have in common with them!^{[8]
X
Research source}
- Support groups are a great reminder that your worries and experiences are all normal and valid.
4
Practice spirituality or religion to help yourself find comfort. Visit your local church, temple, or other spiritual organization to find a community you feel welcome with. Praying or practicing spirituality might help you find some solace. While religious activities definitely aren’t for everyone, you may feel empowered by joining a spiritual community.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- If you’re having a hard time, you can share your thoughts and feelings with the spiritual leaders of your community.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Dealing with Cultural Differences

1
Embrace your own religious and cultural beliefs. Unfortunately, there will always be bullies and nay-sayers when it comes to religion. As hard as it can be, try not to let these people get under your skin. Instead, be proud of your religious identity, whether you’re Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, or practicing another religion entirely.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- It may help to spend time around other people who share similar religious mindsets to your own.
- You can be proud of both your citizenship and your religion! For instance, 92% of American Muslims have stated that they’re proud to be American, while 97% are proud to be Muslims. Of this group, 89% feel proud to be American citizens and Muslim.^{[11]
  X
  Research source}
2
Celebrate your own culture and traditions. Don’t let prejudiced individuals get you down—your own culture is incredibly important, and no one can take that away from you. Think about all the aspects of your culture that make you special, whether it’s your language, celebrations, or history. Be proud of who you are, and know that your cultural identity isn't a bad thing.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- Everyone has something unique or different about their background. There’s no need to be ashamed!
3
Be proud of yourself for knowing another language, if you do. It can be really hard to deal with nasty comments or jokes about your accent. Instead of focusing on the negatives, remind yourself that there are so many benefits and wonderful aspects to knowing an additional language. At the end of the day, people who waste their time mocking and jeering can’t ever take those benefits away from you.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- For instance, being multilingual is proven to raise your intellect, make you more resistant to mental illness, and makes a more valuable asset to employers.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Taking Direct Action against Racism

1
Report racial harassment and abuse to the police. Hate crimes and harassment are an awful thing to experience, and you may just want to forget they ever happened. However, it’s important to remember that these behaviors are not normal, and only reflect on the cruelty and hate of the person perpetuating them. If you’re the victim of this type of crime, report it to your local police as soon as possible.^{[14]
X
Research source}
2
Purge your social media from toxic words and people. Go through your social media and look for people or keywords that tend to amp up your anxiety and internal securities. Unfriend, unfollow, or block any toxic individuals so you don’t have to see them on your feed. Additionally, some social networking platforms let you “mute” or “blacklist” certain words or phrases, which erase them completely from your timeline.^{[15]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you can mute the phrase “all lives matter” or “Chinese virus” so it doesn’t show up on your Twitter feed.
3
Speak up when you notice casual racism around you. It’s definitely not your responsibility to educate the people around you, but that doesn’t mean you have to grin and bear any casual racism or racist jokes in a conversation. Don’t be afraid to speak up and make your voice heard, so the person can know that their words are harmful.^{[16]
X
Research source}
- Speaking up helps emphasize that racial jokes and comments are not normal, and shouldn’t be a part of any dialogue.
4
Volunteer with a social justice movement or organization. Look for social justice organizations in your area, whether they’re local or national. Offer your time and services with these groups, which help enforce the fact that racism and social injustice aren’t normal.^{[17]
X
Research source}
- For example, you can support groups like Initiatives of Change, Asian & Pacific Islander American Health Forum, Race Matters Institute, First Alaskans Institute, NAACP, National Council of La Raza, and more.^{[18]
  X
  Research source}
5
Advocate for fair representation from the media. Contact your local news station and ask them to cover a story about hate crimes, and how harassment and hate really affect minority groups. Broadcasting these experiences on air serves as a reminder that racism is not normal, and that these experiences shouldn’t become normalized.^{[19]
X
Research source}

Warnings

Call a hotline if you’re a victim of a hate crime. In the United States, you can call 1-202-324-3000 or 1-202-467-8700 for further assistance.^{[21]
X
Research source} If you live in the UK, call 0808 801 0576 or text 0771789025.^{[22]
X
Research source}

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0