How to Get Out of Being Grounded

Co-authored by Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.

Last Updated: February 24, 2023

Getting grounded is something that every child experiences at one point or another. It can be hard to endure being grounded, but sometimes it's possible to get out of a grounding if you show your parents a little maturity and remorse. Here are some steps you can follow to help you get ungrounded. But remember that some parents are more strict than others, so these steps might not work for everyone.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Talking to Your Parents

1
Be respectful. Happy parents are less likely to stick to their guns with a severe punishment than parents who continue to feel upset with you. Show your parents a little bit more respect and even consider doing something nice for them. However, remember that, if you did nothing wrong, you shouldn't pretend to apologize and repent just to get out of the punishment. Virtue and honesty is better than comfort.
2
Meet in the middle. Compromise with them to see if they will unground you. Try to talk them into making your grounding shorter, or ask if they will give you an alternative punishment, like doing extra chores or giving you a spanking instead. If that doesn't work then give up, your parents won't budge they will see that you aren't enjoying your punishment and think they are doing the right thing^{[1]
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- Respond in a mature way. Do not throw tantrums or give them the silent treatment. These responses will only confirm in their minds that they're doing the right thing.
- If possible, try to talk with your parents when you're all calm, not in the heat of the moment. This way, you can try to convince them to give you an alternative punishment that is more in line with the rule you broke.
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3
Spend quality time with your parents. Spend some time talking and hanging out with your parents. Instead of focusing on how mad you are about being grounded, try to change the subject by spending time with your parents. This will help everyone forget how upset they are and might help you get ungrounded more quickly.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Showing Responsibility

1
Do your chores without being told. Your parents will be surprised and may unground you. Doing your chores will also make your parents happy because it will save them some stress.^{[2]
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Research source} This is also a really good idea if not doing your chores is what got you grounded in the first place.
2
Accept responsibility for your actions. Apologize to your parents and admit what you've done wrong. Try to solve the problem or counteract whatever you did (ex. complete a task you didn't complete). Don't put the blame on someone else. This shows your parents that you are responsible for your actions. It is usually better to accept the punishment than to throw a fit or try to talk your way out of it.
- Try beginning the conversation with something like, "I know I made a mistake and I'm very sorry. I see now that what I did was wrong and I will work hard not to repeat this action in the future."
3
Do your homework. Making good grades, or at least showing your parents that you are trying to improve your grades, will also show your parents that you are acting responsibly. Working on your schoolwork will also show your parents that you are thinking about the future, which is a sign of responsibility.^{[3]
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4
Help your parents around the house. Go above and beyond doing your chores and ask your parents if you can help them with anything else. Give your mom a hand with dinner or help your dad in the garage. Take your family dog for a walk. Do anything that will show your parents you are trying to be helpful and responsible.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Finding Ways to Cope

1
Have fun while being grounded. If your parents don't unground you, then just make the best of your situation. Being grounded doesn't always have to be boring. Find out what your parents will let you do and take advantage of it.
- Try playing with your siblings or running around with your dog. Spend some time outdoors or bake some cookies with your mom. Or suggest an activity that your whole family can do together like going for a hike or playing a board game.
2
Don't constantly nag your parents. If you keep nagging to get ungrounded, it might result in you getting a longer punishment. But it will definitely show your parents that you haven't learned your lesson and that you aren't ready to be ungrounded.
3
Try being thankful. Instead of focusing on what you don't have or what you're being restricted from, try thinking about all the things you do have: a roof over your head, parents who love you enough to discipline you, etc. When you are ungrounded, be thankful that you can once again participate in the activities that you enjoy. Thank your parents for helping you learn from your mistakes.
- Actually saying the words is important here. Show your parents you are truly thankful for providing for you by saying thank you.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Avoiding Future Groundings

1
Learn from your mistakes. Don't repeat the same action that got you grounded this time and promise your parents that you'll never do it again. Don't get grounded so you won't have to try to get out of being grounded.
2
Express your remorse. Your parents want you to learn from your mistakes, so if you let them know that you are sorry for what you have done, they will remember it in the future.
- Try beginning the conversation with something like, I know I broke your trust with my actions. I am very sorry and I hope that you will forgive me.
3
Enact positive change. Show your parents that you deserve their trust and respect by showing them consistently positive behavior. You won't get grounded if your parents approve of the choices you are making.

Community Q&A

Question

How do I get a teacher fired for not being respectful?

Community Answer

It depends on what he/she is doing. If what they're doing is truly wrong, try to get it on video tape so you have evidence. You can also ask a parent to call the school and file a complaint.
Question

My parents are strict, what should I do?

Community Answer

When they take away your electronics or anything else, do not lash out and ask for them back 4 hours later because that shows you haven't learned your lesson. Give them time to process the situation. Usually i wait about 2-3 days and then I ask for my things back.
Question

What if I'm grounded for a month?

Community Answer

Try working around the house with extra household chores or just trying to help out. It may help to show that you can be responsible and your parents may shorten your grounding. If it doesn't work, accept the length of your punishment and find ways to keep yourself occupied. Most importantly, apologize for what you have done. Whether it gets you un-grounded or not, your parents will surely appreciate it.

Warnings

Don't argue with your parents.

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Don't bother your parents while they are mad or stressed.

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Don't yell or scream at your parents. This may worsen your situation.

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Don't immediately go back to the thing that caused you to be grounded; let your parents cool off first.

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Don't constantly ask for things when you're told "no" the first time they may make the punishment longer.

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