How to Get Over a Relationship in Less Than a Week

Co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD

Last Updated: September 14, 2022 References Approved

If you want to know how to get over a relationship in less than a week, you have to be willing to let it go completely. You'll be surprised to learn that you don't have to waste a week moping and dragging yourself down. It may be difficult, but there are various methods to getting over a breakup within a week.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Using Days as Stages

1
Cry on the first day. Release your feelings. This is the best thing to do, to vent out whatever you feel and just have some alone time. Don't suppress any emotions - confront the things upsetting and angering you and release them, whether it be by crying or screaming into a pillow.^{[1]
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2
Talk with someone on the second day. Use your next day to talk it through, and sort things out. Talk to a friend or someone trusted about what you thought about your ex, but think more about why you broke up. Talking to someone else means there's someone to verbalize your issues with, rather than trying to cope with everything on your own.^{[2]
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- Remind yourself why you can deal without this relationship, and list ways to help you start moving on.
- This day is for clearing your head and setting yourself a clear sketch of the future without your ex.
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3
Dispose of your ex’s possessions on the third day. If you keep anything at all, be sure to think of it a token of friendship, not of your relationship. If they bring bad memories, then throw them out or dispose of them in any way you desire.
- Take down photos. If photos linger, it shows you are still thinking of your ex, and some studies show it can actually cause physical pain.^{[3]
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- Be sure to return anything to your ex that you know could cause issues. If you have something valuable, and it was not a gift, it may be best to give it back. It’s possible to be found civilly liable if the gift can be deemed as exploitation of your ex.^{[4]
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4
Relax on the fourth day. You’re nearing the end of the week; so, use this day for relaxing and enjoyment. Going out with a friend is a good idea. Company can keep your mind off of any lingering feelings. Make sure you don't go somewhere that will bring memories of your ex. If you opt to spend the day alone instead, make sure you keep your mind off your ex and firmly on you.
- Pamper yourself by going to the spa.
- Go somewhere and do something your ex never wanted to do.
- Read a novel and immerse yourself in a different world.
5
Be introspective on the fifth day. Quite a bit of research indicates the key to recovering from a breakup is focusing inward on yourself.^{[5]
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Research source} Spend some time re-working your goals, values, and reminding yourself who you are. Brush up on your independent skills and do whatever you can to make yourself strong.
- Cook a good meal for yourself, something your ex didn’t like. Think about how nice it is to eat this meal without any issues.
- Go to a lecture or reading on something that sparks your interest. Analyze the message and see how it reflects upon your current situation.
6
Plan on the sixth day. Use this day to really stop thinking about your ex. This is where you plan your next steps. Lay the groundwork for what you’re going to do next. Putting pen to paper will not only provide you with a plan, but it will be something to which you can self-motivate and hold yourself accountable.
- Include the next day you plan to go out. Even if you don’t want to go out, force yourself to stick to the plan.
- Determine what kind of person you desire. Think about who you want, and ways in which you will not settle. Find your soulmate this time.
- Set a date by which you’ll go on the next date. Don’t let your ex dictate your happiness. Find the next person who will help you forget about your ex.^{[6]
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7
Relax. The final day can be thought of as the graduation from your breakup. Essentially, you've done all the hard work. Do what makes you happy. Try one of the following suggestions:
- Go watch a movie. Shoot for a genre other than drama or romance, so you’re not reminded of your breakup. Be sure to splurge on all the popcorn and treats you desire.
- Sleep in. Wake up whenever you want. Plan on being lazy all day with PJs, a cup of coffee, and a marathon of your favorite show.
- Soak in the rays. Lay out – on the beach if possible – and just enjoy a sunny day. Listen to nature wash away any last vestiges of your ex.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Reminding Yourself Why It Didn’t Work

1
Write a list of traits or interests that bothered you. Making a list of everything that irritated, bugged, or annoyed you about your ex’s personality and/or lifestyle can help you to see why it would not have worked.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 14 July 2020.} Start by writing down as many things as you can and then keep adding to the list as you think of other things.
- For example, maybe your ex had a really outgoing personality and often got carried away in conversations with other people rather than focusing on you. Or, perhaps your ex was really into country music and you can’t stand that kind of music. List anything and everything that helps you to see how you and your ex were incompatible.
- If you want, you can also include in this list anything that your partner cited as a reason for ending the relationship (if he or she broke up with you).^{[8]
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2
Make a list of qualities you want in a boyfriend or girlfriend. Dreaming a little about your ideal mate can also help you to move on.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 14 July 2020.} Try making another list where you write down all of the qualities that you want out of your next boyfriend or girlfriend, or of things that you want out of your next relationship.
- For example, you might decide that you would prefer someone who is more introverted, likes to read, and who enjoys the same kind of music as you do. Or you might decide that you want a relationship that is honest, genuine, and loving.
- You might even consider what you can do to improve the chances of having this kind of relationship. What could you have done better in your last relationship?^{[10]
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  Research source} For example, if you had a habit of texting your ex constantly, then maybe you can try to give your next girlfriend or boyfriend some more independence.
3
Reflect on past arguments that you had with your ex.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 14 July 2020.} Think back on the things that you and your ex used to argue about to give yourself some more perspective about your incompatibility. You can think back to all the little fights you had or even just one big one.
- For example, you might think back to a time when you argued for an hour over what to do over the weekend, or when you fought because you caught her flirting with another guy.
- You can also reflect on any warning signs that the relationship was ending.^{[12]
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  Research source} For example, did you start to argue more frequently? Did your ex start to talk to you less and less?
4
Try to laugh about how mismatched you and your ex were. After you have reflected on some of the things that indicate why your relationship did not work out, you may feel like laughing a little at how mismatched you and your ex were.
- For example, you could look back on a silly fight that you had over what kind of pizza to order, or just laugh at how different the two of you were in general.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Clearing Your Head

1
Avoid your ex. Ensure there are no interactions or confrontations for an entire week. If you don’t see them for a week, you’re likely to do and think about other people and things.^{[13]
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- Avoid all calls. Don’t let your ex explain away any wrongdoings.
- Don’t read texts. What they say isn’t important.
- Defriend them on social media. Don’t take a chance of seeing something they post that could further hurt you. Be sure you change your relationship status to “single”.
- If you can’t avoid your ex because of work or school, then avoid eye contact and all conversation.
2
Set a diminishing grieving period. Each day of the week you’re allowed to cry or mope for a specific amount of time. As each day passes, lower the number. The last day should be focused on minimal or zero grieving. Think of it as ridding yourself of a sickness, like the cold.^{[14]
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Research source} For example:
- 1st Day - 60 minutes
- 2nd Day - 50 minutes
- 3rd Day - 40 minutes (and so on)
3
Keep up with your hobbies. Whether you’re an avid bowler or swimmer, be sure to continue doing whatever it is you love to do. Mix in hobbies that are social so you’re not always alone. In the week following your breakup, keep your mind off sadness and do everything you would normally do to make you happy.^{[15]
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4
Meditate. Meditation has been shown by multiple research sources to help with physical and emotional pain.^{[16]
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Research source} Each day work on meditating for a longer period of time. Start with 15 minutes of meditation focused on quieting your mind, ignoring your anxiety about the breakup, and build yourself up to 45 minutes by the seventh day.^{[17]
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Research source} After the seventh day you should find some inner peace.^{[18]
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5
Keep your hygiene up-to-par. Many people go through a breakout and let themselves waste away. They skip showers, don’t get enough sleep, and generally make themselves miserable. Then depression results from looking like a mess. Don’t let this be you. Take care of yourself the week following your breakup. ^{[19]
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- Go get your hair done. A new ‘do may help you feel better, and like a new person.
- Take a long, hot shower. Wash every inch of your body, thinking of scrubbing away any possible remaining particle of your ex that may remain.
- Get a clean shave. Even if you don’t plan on going anywhere.
6
Take something to help you sleep. Often times people have trouble sleeping after a breakup. A little Benadryl can be used as a simple sleep aid. Try to doze off without thinking of your ex.
- If you are having very serious issues, you may need to see a doctor for an antidepressant or prescription sleep pills.^{[20]
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7
See a therapist. Breakups can be emotionally devastating. Because of the time and emotion put into relationships, there is actually scientifically provable pain associated with heartache. Seeing a therapist can help alleviate repressed emotions. Studies have shown discussing break-ups can help process them, and help you overcome it.^{[21]
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- You may have to see the therapist more than once, but it’s possible just a single session can get you over your ex.
8
Write about the breakup. Multiple studies have shown writing to be therapeutic, and leading to less negativity. By writing about the breakup, and focusing on positive aspects of it, you’re likely to feel more optimistic, confident, and positive about the reason for the breakup. Try writing for 15-30 minutes per day for the length of the week, and you’ll likely feel a lot better about the situation.^{[22]
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Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Making Changes

1
Alter your environment. Doing anything to make you feel brand new can be helpful. It’s amazing how something so mundane can easily remind a person of their ex. Try to make several changes to feel as if you’re living a much different life than you were before.^{[23]
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- Change out your playlists. Whether they are for easy-listening or they are your go-to workout songs, make changes so you don’t associate specific tunes with your ex.
- Move furniture into different locations. If you were used to the couch and your ex took the recliner, move them to different locations and claim the recliner.
- Use different towels in the bathroom. Go for anything different. Size, shape, color, design, texture, change to something foreign.
- Load your dishwasher a different way. Put the forks where the knives go. Place the plates horizontal instead of vertical. Make it something completely new to you.
- Delete shows from the DVR. This is especially helpful if it’s a show you started watching because your ex liked it.
2
Find someone different. The great thing about being single is you now can choose. You can choose the exact opposite of your ex if you’d like. Leave all memories in the past and find the new love of your life. Pick someone who appreciates what your ex did not.^{[24]
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- Be careful to avoid the rebound. Don’t settle for someone just because you’re used to being in a relationship.^{[25]
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3
Use the breakup to grow. Some people see a breakup as a bridge towards improvement. Learn to communicate more effectively. Discover new things about yourself, and how you can improve in the next relationship.^{[26]
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- You can’t control everything. Use this as a way to get over any control issues you may have. Realize there are some things, no matter how hard you try, that will not be as you wish.
- Learn how to forgive. You may be angry, sad, or depressed, but breakups often serve as a great opportunity to find our kindness. You'll be happier when you realize forgiveness, because your ex will no longer occupy your mind with ill feelings.
- Express relationship desires more clearly. The result of failure is often analysis and improvement. Figure out what was expressed incorrectly or inefficiently, and learn to tell your future partner precisely what you want in a relationship.
4
Take your time. Keep in mind that a breakup is an emotional injury and it might take longer than a week to be over your ex.^{[27]
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Research source} Getting over someone is difficult and you will have a lot of emotions to process, so try to be patient. Just remember that if you keep trying, then you will get there.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How can I move on from my ex if it was a good relationship?

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”

Chloe Carmichael, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

While you may have good memories, there's a reason you broke up. It may be hard, but try to focus on the problems you faced during the relationship or even during the break up itself. Realizing why you weren't compatible will help you heal and move on from the relationship.

Warnings

When releasing your feelings, avoid injuring yourself. There are so many better outlets that won't leave such permanent and damaging scars mentally, spiritually, and physically.

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