How to Have Fierce Confidence

Last Updated: March 29, 2022 References

Fierce confidence goes beyond just believing in yourself. It’s the type of confidence that other people take notice of and want to emulate. With the right attitude and a commitment to improvement, you, too, can have the fierce confidence required to attract the hottest dates, land your dream job, and be enviable.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Building Unstoppable Confidence

1
Expose yourself to new things by trying the things that scare you most often. It’s easy to feel less than confident when you try something for the first time. By forcing yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone you’ll gain confidence.^{[1]
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- Join a few clubs where you can find like-minded people.
- Do volunteer work to meet new people and experience new things.
- Talk to people that you don’t know everywhere you go, saying hello to people you normally wouldn’t.
2
Accept invitations for new activities, even if you’re nervous. This can range from speaking at a local community meeting or grabbing drinks with your co-workers at a karaoke bar. The thrill of overcoming fear makes you more confident.
- Make it a rule to say yes to any invitations you get for a month. If someone wants to go to dinner, go.
- Plan to meet and talk to someone with different views than you. They might have different religious or political beliefs than you do. Use this as an opportunity to learn and find common ground.
- Say yes to the next community service group that asks. You’ll gain valuable experience and skills.
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3
Maximize confident body language. A lot of how people perceive you comes from your body language. Whether you’re going on a job interview or a date, body language can say a lot about your confidence level. Fortunately, great body language is something you can master.^{[2]
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- Initiate and maintain eye contact with people you’re speaking with so that they feel the intensity of your interest.
- Stand tall and straighten out your shoulders. It may feel silly, but proper posture helps you to feel stronger and more confident. Test this out by going back and forth between a straight, tall posture and a slouched, hunched over posture. See which one makes you feel more confident.
- Make a better handshake with a firm grip, an effective shake, and dry hands.
4
Be proud of yourself. Each of us offers a tremendous amount of value to the world around us, even when it doesn’t feel like it. At times, it’s easy to feel that we could have accomplished more while forgetting all that we already have. Try to always be proud of who you are and what you have done.
- Accept compliments no matter who they come from. Many of us are taught our entire lives to be humble. As such, we learn to deflect compliments from other people.
- Graciously accept compliments by simply saying thank you. You’ll feel better and so will the person giving the compliment.^{[3]
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- Advocate for yourself. If you need something, whether in your relationship, at school, or at work, speak up. The people around you won’t know unless you say something.
5
Incentivize your future actions with rewards. You should reward yourself to celebrate your accomplishments, even if they’re small. These small rewards are great reminders of what you’ve done.
- If you’re trying to lose weight, mark each 10-pound loss with a pedicure.
- If you want to read more, keep a list of each book you’re reading.
- If you want to save money, put a sticker in your calendar every day you avoid frivolous spending.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Staying Confident

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Do the things that you love to do, and feel good about them. When you consistently do what you enjoy, you’ll be happier and come off as more confident. Even if you feel what you’re interested in isn’t popular, you’ll likely meet other people that share the same interests.
- Build a team of friends that will boost your confidence.
- Participate in your favorite activities and you’ll meet friends who like the same things.
- Ask for phone numbers, email addresses, or social media accounts for fellow participants you click with to meet outside of your meeting. Make sure to follow up with them as well.
- Based on your unique interests, you may want to attend classes at a local library, join a herpetology club, or a writing group. There are so many different clubs available to meet new people.
2
Hang out with new people or old ones you rarely see. Even if it's just for a few minutes, chat with them and get to know more about them. People are genuinely welcoming to strangers. Ask how your waitresses day is going and show interest by waiting for a reply. Talk to fellow elevator passengers, even if it’s about the weather.^{[4]
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3
Show off your confidence in everyday interactions. Most people lack the confidence required to be themselves. Incorporate easy ways to show the world who you really are. Over time, it becomes easier.
- Wear something silly and people will assume you’re naturally confident. Try intentionally geeky glasses or mismatch colorful patterns.
- Be okay with having different viewpoints than other people. If you follow a certain religion or believe in a particular political candidate, you don’t need to keep this to yourself.
- Aim to be true to yourself and your feelings. If someone hurts your feelings, let them know in a mature and rational conversation. Don’t get too emotional about it, but be confident enough to speak up.
4
Learn new skills and always get better at old ones. People who know what they’re talking about are more confident than people who don’t. Invest time in learning new things so you can speak about them with others and use these new skills in your everyday life.^{[5]
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- Take a low-cost class in a subject that interests you at your local community center, library, or college.
- Enroll in an online class about something that interests you. Many websites offer MOOCs or Massive Open Online Courses from well-regarded universities for free.
- Listen to podcasts on your smartphone. Some cover topics about history, technology, and even marketing.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Overcoming Obstacles with Confidence

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Embrace your stronger, more confident self. When you are more confident, you’ll have more opportunities and better options available to you. Improving your confidence level can translate into real world benefits. ^{[6]
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- Be confident without being arrogant. Being confident means that you’re secure with who you are, while arrogant people need reassurance to overcome their insecurities.
- Use your confidence to get attention.
- Confident people are perceived as more attractive in photographs and may be more likely to get dates. So if you get asked out on dates often, other people might sense your confidence.^{[7]
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- Make confidence your career advantage by exuding it in the workplace. Having confidence in yourself may have a positive impact on your career and advancement opportunities.^{[8]
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2
Follow your own dreams. When you have confidence, you should use it to follow your own dreams, whatever they are. You have the skills and the ability to learn new ones. Figure out what it is that you dream of and work toward that goal.
- Start something new like an online business. Do a quick search of “online businesses to start” and read through suggestions to see what interests you.
- Travel to the places you want to go, even if you plan to travel alone. Don’t wait to go somewhere when the opportunity presents itself.
- Prepare yourself to follow your dreams by putting money aside in a savings account for this very purpose. When a trip, class, or other opportunity comes up, you’ll already have the money saved.
3
Be the strong one in the group and stand up for those that need your help. As a confident person, use your confidence to help create a better world by standing up for others who need your help. Other people may not feel comfortable or be able to do it themselves.
- When you see something that’s not right, ask to speak to the appropriate person. If you see a spill on the floor, tell a manager so everyone is safe.
- Listen to others, then be heard by not cutting people off. They might lack confidence to rejoin the conversation.
- Consider the needs of fellow humans and stand up for them, whether someone is treated unfairly at the grocery store or gets looked over for a promotion.^{[9]
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