Nerdy guys are passionate, thoughtful, and motivated, which makes them particularly irresistible. They are also often a little shy, which can make figuring out if they're flirting with you a bit of a challenge. Thankfully, there's actually a ton of ways a nerdy guy might make his affection known. Read on for some key signs that a nerdy guy is flirting with you, along with some tips on how to flirt back.

3

He strikes up intellectual conversations with you.

  1. A nerdy guy might use his intelligence to flirt.[3] Instead of wooing you with over-the-top pickup lines, he might approach you to talk about thought-provoking subjects like pop culture, politics, or space travel. He's likely trying to impress you with his wealth of knowledge.[4]
    • He might want to talk about movies, TV, or video games. For example, he might come up to you at a party and ask, "Have you ever seen Dark Crystal?" Say something like, "I haven't! Do you recommend it?" to flirt back.
    • He may text you the link to a news story on the latest in politics with a message like, "Just read this and thought of you. Would love to know your thoughts 😊" If you like him back, read the article and text him some of your takeaways.
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5

He listens to what you have to say.

  1. Taking an active interest in what you say is a subtle flirting technique. As you're talking to him, a nerdy guy might make eye contact, lean in closer to you, or simply give you his full attention (he won't be texting or looking at his phone, for example). If he's doing any of these things during your conversation, odds are he's being flirty and showing you that he's invested in what you have to say.[6]
    • If you like him, make sure you always listen to him, too. Practice active listening strategies, like nodding as he speaks, leaning in yourself, and asking follow-up questions.
    • If he just told you about his Magic: The Gathering obsession, you might ask, "How did you first get into playing?"
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6

He gives you sweet compliments.

  1. He might flatter you to try to win your affection. Nerdy men are usually very perceptive and observant, so his compliments might feel more personable and unique to you. He might compliment your silly sense of humor or your one-of-a-kind sense of style. If he's taking notice and letting you know what he likes about you, he is definitely flirting with you.
    • He may say something like, "I love that sweater. You've always got the best outfits 😍" or "You've got a really nice smile."
    • It takes a lot of guts for nerdy guys to compliment you, so if you like him back, say something nice to him in return. You might try, "You've got such a cute laugh" or "I love that shirt. You look so handsome!"
7

He finds reasons to spend time with you.

8

He is physically affectionate with you.

11

He asks you out.

  1. If he's feeling bold, a nerdy guy might simply ask you out on a date. Nerdy guys can be confident, too, and he might just like you enough to go for it. If he wants to spend one-on-one time with you, whether it be at an arcade bar or a midnight movie, he is definitely into you and putting on the moves.
    • If you like him back, say yes! You might say something like, "That sounds so fun. Can't wait!"
    • If he's been flirting with you but hasn't asked you out yet, don't fret. He might be afraid you'll say no. Go ahead and ask him out so that the two of you can get to know each other better.
    • You might try, "I've got an extra ticket to a Weezer concert next weekend. Wanna come?"
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How do you start a flirty conversation online?
    Michelle Jacoby
    Michelle Jacoby
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Michelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a privately owned, boutique matchmaking company based in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. She is also the Co-Founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international industry organization for matchmakers. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in one-on-one matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy, lasting relationships. She has been featured in several media publications such as The Washington Post, Self, and NPR. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also a Certified Matchmaker from The Matchmakers Institute as well as a Certified Body Language Expert from The Body Language Institute.
    Michelle Jacoby
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Text messaging doesn't have any tone, though, it's very easy to take things the wrong way. Learn how to write messages with a tone, which includes big words like awesome, use exclamation points, and lots of emojis. As a rule of thumb, whether it's in person, or online, provide positive comments and compliments. Positively present yourself and be enthusiastic when having a conversation online.
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About This Article

Michelle Jacoby
Co-authored by:
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Michelle Jacoby and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Criglow. Michelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a privately owned, boutique matchmaking company based in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. She is also the Co-Founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international industry organization for matchmakers. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in one-on-one matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy, lasting relationships. She has been featured in several media publications such as The Washington Post, Self, and NPR. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also a Certified Matchmaker from The Matchmakers Institute as well as a Certified Body Language Expert from The Body Language Institute. This article has been viewed 10,845 times.
6 votes - 67%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: January 20, 2022
Views: 10,845
Categories: Flirting | Nerd Culture
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