This article was co-authored by Eddy Baller. Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.
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Sure, you can catch a girl’s eye or make her laugh, but how do you make her go crazy for you? Making a girl go crazy for you can be a bit tricky, because you want to intrigue her and make her think you stand out without coming on too strong. It just takes a bit of planning, finesse, and confidence. If you want to make a girl go crazy for you, then don’t overthink it and play it cool. Before you know it, you’ll have her in the palm of your hand. If you want to know how to make a girl go crazy for you, see Step 1 to get started.
Steps
Being Irresistible
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1Let her see you having a good time. There’s nothing a girl wants more than a guy who is obviously enjoying himself and completely happy on his own. When you’re with your friends, enjoy laughing and sharing stories. When you’re walking to class, think happy thoughts that put a smile on your face. When you see her, show her that you’re in a good mood, and that you’re not a total downer. You don’t have to fake it, obviously, but you should let her see that you’re a person who is enjoying himself so she wants to be in your orbit.
- If she sees you already having a great time, then she’ll want to be a part of what you have to offer. If she thinks you need a girl to have a good time, then she’ll think that you’re not quite happy with yourself.
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2Be a gentleman. Gentlemen are all too hard to come by these days and if you are one, girls will take notice. You don’t have to wear a stuffy suit or act all formal just to show a basic courtesy to women. To be a gentleman, treat women with respect by opening doors for them, caring about how they’re feeling when you’re around them, and generally not being too vulgar or burping or being crude in their presence. Every girl wants to be treated like a lady, and you don’t want to make it feel forced to be a real gentleman.[1]
- Many guys you know may not have the greatest manners or politeness skills. Stand out from the pack by having good manners and by being polite both to the girl and the people around you.
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3Wow her with your confidence. Girls love confident guys and naturally gravitate towards them.[2] If you want the girl to really go crazy for you, then you have to let her see how much you love being who you are. Be happy to just be in the moment, enjoy the time you spend with your friends, and just let her see that you’re happy and secure with the person who you are and that you don’t care about what other people think. Many guys are obviously insecure and girls don’t like that; they don’t want to spend their time building you up. If you’re happy with who you are, then the girl will be much more likely to want to be around you.[3]
- This doesn’t mean that you have to love every last thing about yourself. It does mean that you should be aware of your flaws, trying to change the ones you can change, and accepting the ones you can’t.
- You don’t have to act overly macho or brag about how awesome you are to come off as truly confident. In fact, this will be a turn-off for girls.
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4Be independent. Though girls need guys who have time for them, they don’t want guys who have nothing going on except them, either. If you want the girl to go crazy for you, then you have to impress her with how cool and independent you are. You should be happy doing your own thing, whether it’s playing your guitar on the quad or going for a run in the park. If you’re a follower and just try to do what everyone else is doing because you can’t think for yourself, then she’ll be able to tell. Instead, impress her with your ability to think for yourself and to be comfortable on your own.
- Though a girl wants a guy who can have a great time in a crowd, she doesn’t want someone who is completely bored on his own, either.
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5Be a little bit mysterious. Don’t open up to her about every little thing you’re thinking right away. As you get to know the girl, sure, you can reveal a little bit about yourself, but at first, you don’t have to tell her about how much you love your dog Munchkin, or about your fight with your best friend. Let her see that it’s worth it to get to know you because it’ll make you open up, little by little. If she thinks it’s too easy to get to know you, then she won’t see you as a challenge. While you don’t have to lie to her or make up excuses to be mysterious, you should avoid telling her everything all at one.
- If you have to go, don’t tell her that you have to go meet your mom. Leave her to wonder about your plans.
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6Be good at something. Nothing makes girls go crazier than a guy who is great a guitar, who has an amazing singing voice, or who is unstoppable when it comes to basketball. To put it bluntly, talent is hot. If you want to amaze and impress a girl, then yeah, it helps if you’re really good at something. That doesn’t mean that you should brag about it or show off in front of her or anything. It just means that you should work to be really good at something and lead her to find out about it.
- Of course, you shouldn’t just pursue an activity or a passion just to impress girls, but because you care about it. Being really good at something will also boost your self-esteem, which will also be great for impressing the girls.
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7Don’t show off too much. Stop thinking that the only way a girl will go crazy for you is if you keep bragging and talking about how awesome you are at various activities. If you really are great at something, then she’ll get word of it; if you feel like you have to tell her, then it means that you’re insecure and feel like you have to convince people about how amazing you are. You can talk about the things you love to do, but don’t say things like, “I’m the best at…” or, “I just killed it when…” or the girl will get bored and will start rolling her eyes.
- If you’re always showing off and talking about how awesome you are, then girls will start to see you as social poison. Nobody wants to be around guys who are always talking about themselves.
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8Put some effort into your appearance. This doesn't mean you have to spend all of your spare time at the gym working on those guns. It does mean that you should make an effort to think about how you look before you step out of the house, making sure you're showered, smell nice, have well-fitting clothes, and that you don't look super scruffy (unless that's part of your look). If you look like you just rolled out of bed, then the girl will wonder why she should spend time caring about you if you barely care about yourself. You don't need to look like a model to show a girl that you've made an effort to look decent.
- If you're hanging out with a girl, it's common courtesy to show up looking nice. Otherwise, she'll take your lack of effort personally.
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9Treat others with respect. If you want a girl to go crazy for you, then you have to actually have a reputation for being a nice person. This doesn't mean you should let people walk all over you or that you should be nice to people who are mean to you, but it does mean that you should treat everyone around you, from the less cool kids in your school to your teachers or the girl who works at your local grocery store, with a base level of respect. Don't just be nice to the cool people and treat everyone else like dirt; treat all of the people around you like equals and girls will be impressed that you're a good person with a kind heart.
- Contrary to what you think, putting people down and gossiping won't really win girls over. If you're always being negative about or to other people, then the girls will feel like they can't really trust you.
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10Don't take yourself too seriously. Girls love guys who can make them laugh, and who are comfortable enough with themselves to be able to make jokes at their own expense. This doesn't mean you have to sound insecure or self-deprecating, but if you find an opportunity to poke fun at yourself and to make her laugh in the process, then go for it. She'll think it's cool that you're not obsessing over impressing her or making her think you're perfect, and she'll begin to open up to you and want to be around you more.
- If you get easily offended or mad when anyone else pokes fun at you, you'll come off as insecure and defensive. Learn to take a joke, and the ladies will be impressed.
Winning Her Over
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1Actually listen to her. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is to spend so much time talking about themselves or worrying about themselves that they never stop and realize that there’s a girl standing in front of them. You may even make the innocent mistake of thinking too hard about what to say to impress a girl to have the time to consider what she’s saying to you. That stops now. Instead, take the time to really listen to her, to let her finish talking instead of interrupting, and to make an effort to really understand what she’s trying to say instead of trying to relate everything back to yourself.[4] [5]
- It’s really hard for girls to find a good listener. If you can be a good listener, this will definitely make you stand out as someone who genuinely cares for her.
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2Flirt with her. A little bit of flirting can go a long way. If you want to get the ladies, then you have to know how to flirt with them without going over the top. Just be fun and light and playful, making harmless jokes and teasing them a little bit, and keep the conversation and banter going in a fun, lighthearted way. Don’t make overly sexual comments or insult the girl when you’re really just trying to tease her; instead, give her cute compliments and even laugh at yourself a little bit to make her see that you like her and don’t take the whole flirting thing too seriously.
- Of course, if you want one special girl, you should give her most of your flirting energy while occasionally flirting with others to keep it interesting; you don’t want her to think that you’re just a big flirt who flirts with everybody and doesn’t really care about her.
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3Make her friends think you’re awesome. If you want the girl to go crazy over you, then it helps a lot if her friends think you’re the best thing since sliced bread. If you’re only nice to the girl you like and are kind of mean to the rest of her friends, then she’ll get word of it and will think that you don’t really care about people. But if you charm her friends, without flirting with them or giving them the wrong idea, then she’ll get word of how nice of a guy you are, and will undoubtedly like you even more.
- When girls hear other girls talking about how awesome a guy is, then they get jealous, which makes them like that guy even more.
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4Make her feel special. If you want a girl to go crazy for you, then you have to make her feel special by actually taking the time to recognize her as a unique individual. Tell her, “You’re not like other girls…” or “You’re so different from your friends…” and make her see that she really does stand out to you. You can give her a specific compliment about her personality or mention something she said in a previous conversation to show that you’re listening and that you do care. Don’t do this to every girl, though, or it will get back to her, and it’ll look like you’re just a player. Girls want to feel unique, and if they can find a guy who makes them feel that way, they’ll be all in.
- Take the time to really notice the things that make the girl stand out, whether it’s her confidence, her laugh, or her talent at dancing. Let her know why she’s special.
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5Just remember to play hard to get. Though you want to win the girl over, you have to keep up the chase. You don’t want her to think that she has you in the palm of her hand, but that she has to do some work to win you over, too. It should be a mutual thing. Let her know you like her, but don’t shower her with compliments. Hang out with her, but make sure you have plans with other friends, too, and that you aren’t available the second she wants to hang out. If she calls you, stop picking up the second the phone rings; you’ve got other things to do, right? This will keep the girl interested in coming back for more.[6]
- This doesn’t mean that you have to play elaborate games to win the girl over. It does mean that you should keep things interesting so there’s never a dull moment when she sees you. If you put it all out there, she’ll be less likely to be crazy about the intriguing, awesome guy that you are.
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6Check in on her occasionally. You don't want to become that obsessive possessive guy every girl is afraid of, but you also don't want to be Mr. Aloof. Whether you're in a relationship with a girl or just starting to hang out, texting her every once in a while to ask how her day is going or to ask how her math test or soccer game went will show that you're thinking about her even when you're not together. This will make her see that you're a guy worth keeping around. Just make sure that you're not always the one to check in first or she may feel a bit smothered.
- Don't text her to say hi more than once every other day or so. You don't want her to think that you have nothing better to do than to be in touch with her.
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7Don’t overthink it. The best way to win a girl over is not to rush it and just to enjoy the moment instead of trying to find the best fifty ways to be the coolest guy ever. As corny as it sounds, at the end of the day, you want the girl to like you, not some overdone, fake version of who you are, so you should focus on having the girl get to know the real you and getting to know the real her in the process.[7]
- If you spend all your time trying to impress the girl, trying to play hard to get, or generally behaving in a way that just doesn't feel natural to you, then she'll catch on pretty fast. Instead, relax, charm the girl, and get ready for her to go crazy for you.
Warnings
- Watch what you say at first, but don't be too self-conscious.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/the-anatomy-of-etiquette-how-to-be-an-old-school-gentleman-from-head-to-toe/
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201707/are-you-dating-confident
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201203/11-ways-active-listening-can-help-your-relationships
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thriving101/201102/playing-hard-get-can-help-you-get-the-girl
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201602/6-tips-stop-overthinking
About This Article
If you want to make a girl crazy for you, show off your irresistible character and behave respectfully when you’re talking to her. Show her that you’re enjoying life by having fun with your friends and smiling, since she’s more likely to want to be part of your life if she sees that you’re happy. Let her see how confident you are by doing the things you enjoy, like running in the park or playing guitar, since girls are generally attracted to confidence and independence. When you talk to her, listen carefully when she talks and don’t interrupt her, which will show you’re a good listener and care about her opinions. You should also flirt with her sometimes by teasing her or making lighthearted jokes. For tips on how to attract a girl with your appearance, read on!