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This article was co-authored by Collette Gee and by wikiHow staff writer, Amber Crain. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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You’ve seen a cute guy at school or work, but he doesn’t seem to know you exist. Never fear! Not only can you get his attention, but there are also things you can do so that he approaches you first. It’s all about looking your best and looking approachable!
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
Looking Approachable
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1Smile! Believe it or not, boys get just as shy as girls do when it comes to making the first move. Smiles are friendly and welcoming – a smile can make a guy feel instantly secure about walking over and introducing himself. On the other hand, a frown is sure to make him nervous and keep him away.[1]
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2Make eye contact. This goes hand in hand with smiling. You can smile all day long, but unless you make eye contact when you do it, it won’t signal to him that you want him to come talk to you.[2] If you make eye contact and smile as you pass him he will notice, especially if it happens often. If he smiles back, all the better!Advertisement
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3Be confident. This is far more important than your hair or your clothes. Having confidence is not only an attractive personality trait, but it also makes you a more dynamic, interesting person. Someone with confidence will automatically attract people. Radiate positivity![3]
- To project confidence, walk with your head held high and your shoulders back. Also, smile, and try to radiate positive energy.[4]
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4Talk to his friends. When a guy sees you talking to his friends, it makes him feel much more comfortable about approaching you himself.[5] Just make sure you aren’t flirting with his friends! He’ll notice that too, but not in a good way.
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5Lose the cell phone. When you’re around a guy that you want to talk to, being buried in your cell phone is definitely not a signal that you want to chat. Keep your head up and look alert, ready to engage.
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6Pay attention to your body language. Communication is so much more than just using words – your body language also speaks volumes, even from across the room or hall.
- Don’t cross your arms. It definitely sends the signal that you are not approachable.
- Watch your posture. When you slouch, you communicate to a guy without saying a word that you don’t feel confident enough to have him approach you.
- Keep your gestures smooth and firm. Relaxed hands imply confidence, whereas clenched hands can make you seem anxious and unapproachable.
- Try not to squirm in your outfit or fidget with anything. Doing so can make you appear anxious.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:
Making Yourself Available
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1Put yourself in his line of sight. If you see a natural opportunity to walk past him, take it! If you notice that he walks down a certain hallway every day at a certain time, position yourself there. Do this sparingly, otherwise you may come off as desperate.
- Make sure when you are walking past him that you are doing so for a purpose. Get a drink from a water fountain he’s standing near or go into the library if he’s standing out front chatting with his friends.
- When you do walk past him, makes sure to stand up straight, hold your head up high, walk with confidence and have a smile on your face.
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2Sit near him. This doesn’t mean sit right NEXT to him – that would be too obvious! But sitting near him (in his line of vision, if possible) can definitely get you noticed and create a scenario in which he’ll approach you to talk. If you share a class with him, sit nearby. At lunch, sit with your friends one table over.
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3Create a situation that prompts him to approach you. Try walking past him with an armload of heavy books, or try to enter a door he’s standing near with your hands full. Perhaps even walk by him looking confused or lost, as though you are trying to find a classroom or a person and having no luck.
- While the “damsel in distress” act shouldn’t be employed too often, it can definitely be effective in getting a conversation started, or at the very least, provide an opportunity to lock eyes with him and smile!
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4Share a common interest. If you know he’s interested in something in particular, give it a try yourself. For instance, if you know he enjoys watching basketball games at school, go to one yourself every now and then. If he loves music, occasionally drop by your local record shop. Bump into him at the gym. If you see one another while in the midst of a common interest, he’s almost certain to come over and chat with you about it.
- Don’t go to extremes to make this happen. You don’t need to force yourself to enjoy anything that you don’t like! Keep it natural.
- Plan carefully and don’t try to pop up at every single event or hobby he’s interested in. Doing this will likely make you seem creepy, and the stalker vibe is not one you want to give off!
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5Join his friend group. If you are already friendly with some of his close friends and it feels natural to do so, get closer to those people. It will provide him with plenty of opportunities to approach you. Not only that, but his friends will have nothing but nice things to say about you in front of him, which is never a bad thing!
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:
Looking Your Best
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1Take pride in your appearance. The way you present yourself on the outside is a big indicator of how you feel about yourself on the inside. You want to show your guy that you are worth it and you want to catch his eye. Looks aren't everything, but they are the first thing a guy notices about you. No matter how awesome your personality is, a guy isn't going to see that from across the room!
- Groom yourself. Keep your hair neatly combed and your nails clipped.
- Practice good personal hygiene by brushing and flossing your teeth and taking daily showers. [6]
- Wash and moisturize your face on a regular basis. This helps give you a healthy glow.[7]
- Try lotions and perfumes that smell nice. Just don’t overdo it! You want him to notice it when he passes by you, not from across the room.
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2Try doing something different with your hair. Don't go crazy and dye your hair pink, but doing some little things can help. Experiment with flat irons, curling irons, clips, bobby pins – anything that is different might get his attention. Try out different styles the night before school or before the event where you'll see the guy.
- Straightening your hair with a flat iron can give you a more casual look.
- You can use a curling iron to give your hair some extra bounce.
- Are you a ponytail person or a hair down kind of girl? Whatever you are, try changing it up!
- Try a different part in your hair, or consider bangs. Have fun with it!
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3Take care of yourself. The ways to do this are many, and range from the simple to the complex. Focus on the basics! When you take care of yourself, it shines through without you needing to say a word.
- Get enough sleep.
- Exercise regularly.
- Make healthy changes to your diet.
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4Dress to impress. Some may say that clothes don't make the girl, but we all know they have some impact! Wear clothes that fit well and make you feel good about yourself.[8] If you aren’t comfortable in the clothes you're wearing, your discomfort will show through in the way you carry yourself. Also, consider wearing a pop of an eye-catching color, like a red tie or blouse.[9]
- Try incorporating flattering colors to spruce up your wardrobe.
- Accentuate your assets. This doesn’t mean wear skimpy clothing! If you have toned arms, try wearing a tank top, for example.[10]
- Make it work for your guy. If you’re tall, try wearing flats around him more so that he feels comfortable.
- If you usually wear jeans, change it up and try a dress.[11]
- Try to develop your own sense of style. Everyone notices this, not just guys!
- Experiment with jewelry or other accessories. Sometimes it’s the little details that really catches someone’s attention.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you grab a guy's attention?
Collette GeeCollette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention SpecialistEye contact is great, but avoid outright staring at him. Glance over occasionally, but don’t stare too long.
Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.
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QuestionHow can I make myself look more approachable when I'm at social functions?Collette GeeCollette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention SpecialistCarry yourself with great posture, and try to radiate positive energy. Smile and nod at people who are around you, and move around the room in a natural way. Also, you may look more relaxed if you have a drink in your hand—a mocktail or a bottle of Perrier are great options if you don't drink.Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.
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References
- ↑ http://enthusiastblog.com/2011/10/25/how-to-get-a-boy-to-like-you-without-him-noticing/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201305/how-get-guys-or-gals-attention
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sherrie-campbell-phd/inside-the-mind-of-a-man-_b_5930384.html
- ↑ Collette Gee. Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist. Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
- ↑ http://allwomenstalk.com/10-ways-to-get-a-guy-to-notice-you-at-school
- ↑ http://allwomenstalk.com/10-ways-to-get-a-guy-to-notice-you-at-school
- ↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a3663/what-guys-notice/
- ↑ http://lethow.com/dating/get-a-guy-to-notice-you/
- ↑ Collette Gee. Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist. Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
About This Article
Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
This article was co-authored by Collette Gee and by wikiHow staff writer, Amber Crain. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN. This article has been viewed 396,774 times.
Co-authors: 65
Updated: March 12, 2021
Views: 396,774
Categories: Crushes on Boys
Article SummaryX
Making a guy come talk to you can be as simple as being confident and catching his eye when he looks your way. Make sure you smile when you make eye contact, so he knows you're happy to talk. Keep your body language open with your arms and legs uncrossed. The more open and confident you seem, the more likely he'll be to come talk to you. You should also put your phone away so you seem more available to talk. If he still doesn’t approach you, try starting a casual conversation with his friends, which will make it easier for him to talk to you. For more tips, including how to look your best for a guy, read on!
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