Learn about the duties of a maid (or matron) of honor to add to your special day

You’ve just started planning your dream wedding! You have a list of bridesmaids in mind and you want to delegate their responsibilities… starting with choosing your maid or matron of honor. You’ve heard both of these terms before, but aren’t they the same role? And if not, what are the differences between the two? Luckily, you’ve come to the right place to find out! Here’s an in-depth guide on the differences between a maid and matron of honor and how you can incorporate both into your wedding day.

Things You Should Know

  • A matron of honor is married, while a maid of honor is unmarried. You can have both a maid and matron of honor, especially if it’s a large wedding with lots of tasks!
  • Both MOHs are responsible for ensuring the bridal party is on schedule, hosting the bridal and bachelorette parties, and providing emotional support to the bride.
  • If there’s a maid and a matron of honor, it’s up to the bride to decide their walking arrangements at the ceremony, as well as who stands by her at the altar.
Section 1 of 4:

What’s the difference between a maid and matron of honor?

Section 2 of 4:

Can you have a maid and a matron of honor?

  1. You can include both a maid and a matron of honor in your wedding. It’s ideal to have both if you’re having a large wedding (with lots of responsibilities). One isn’t a “more important” role than the other, but it may be useful to divide their tasks into ones that fit each individual best.[2]
    • Your MOH doesn’t have to be a woman! If you don’t have any close female family members or friends, feel free to choose a “man of honor” instead.
    • Including a matron of honor is beneficial because they have firsthand experience of the entire wedding process, and they can answer any questions or concerns the bride has.
Section 3 of 4:

The Role of the Maid (or Matron) of Honor

  1. 1
    MOHs serve as leaders of the bridal party (when the bride isn’t around). Both the maid and matron of honor ensure all your bridesmaids arrive at wedding events prepared and on schedule.[3] MOHs regularly check-in with your bridal party to confirm everyone has reliable transportation to events, and they make sure everyone is on time for the wedding ceremony.
    • Set up a group message or email chain with all of the bridesmaids so there’s a quick and easy method to contact everyone in the bridal party.
    • If you’re the MOH, make sure the bridal party has figured out bridesmaids dress alterations at least one month before the wedding ceremony!
    • On the wedding day, the MOH should also ensure that everyone in the bridal party is in hair and makeup at least 3-4 hours before the ceremony (to account for transportation time and to help the bride).
  2. 2
    Both MOHs (usually) plan the bridal and bachelorette parties. It’s ideal to choose the person (the maid of honor or matron of honor) who’s better at planning events to figure out the logistics of your bridal and/or bachelorette party–picking the location, calling the vendors, etc. If your maid and matron of honor isn’t great at throwing parties, choose another bridesmaid to host instead![4]
    • If your maid of honor is under 21, have the matron of honor plan/host the bachelorette party. The maid of honor can plan the bridal party, where there’s usually less alcohol (and craziness) involved.
    • Typically, the MOHs and bridesmaids split the costs of both bridal and bachelorette parties, but feel free to ask the bride’s mother or mother-in-law to co-host if they can. The bride may also chip in, depending on the situation![5]
    • It’s important to consider everyone’s budget when planning a bridal/bachelorette party! Communicate with the group to see what everyone is comfortable with spending and have everyone suggest ideas.
  3. 3
    The maid (or matron) of honor gives emotional support to the bride. The most important duty is being able to help the bride during the wedding planning process. Although this entails organizing and attending events, it also includes making sure the bride isn’t on the brink of having an emotional breakdown (weddings are stressful!).[6]
    • Let the bride know you’re there for her! At the end of each week, ask if she needs help with anything, or simply send her a supportive text that she’s doing an amazing job.
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Section 4 of 4:

Ways to Include Both in Your Wedding

  1. 1
    MOHs can walk down the aisle with groomsmen, walk together, or go solo. The maid (or matron) of honor is usually the last person to walk down the aisle before the bride. However, two MOHs means the bride chooses the most appropriate walking arrangement.[7]
    • If the bride has a brother, the matron of honor can walk with him, while the maid of honor walks with the best man.
    • Alternatively, the MOHs can walk together, they can walk in a trio with the best man, or they can walk separately.
  2. 2
    The maid or matron of honor stands beside the bride at the altar. Typically, the bride selects a family member to stand next to her, but there are always exceptions! If the matron of honor is not related but has been exceedingly supportive, the bride is inclined to choose whoever has helped her the most throughout the wedding planning process.[8]
    • During the ceremony, the person who stands closest to the bride ensures the bride’s dress is in place when she gets to the altar and holds the bridal bouquet.
  3. 3
    Both the maid and the matron of honor can deliver reception speeches. There’s always room to deliver a beautiful speech about the bride and groom! At the wedding reception, both MOHs can collaborate on a speech together or present separate ones, depending on their relationship/history with the newlyweds.
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wikiHow Staff
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Co-authors: 2
Updated: December 19, 2022
Views: 1,233
Categories: Bridesmaids
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