This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Amber Crain. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Do you have a difficult time connecting physically or sexually with others? Fear of physical intimacy is a lot more common than you think, and there are lots of reasons why you might develop it. In this article, we'll walk you through the symptoms and causes, and we'll also explain how this fear may be impacting your life. Then, we'll cover diagnosis and treatment options so you can take steps to put this fear behind you once and for all.
This article is based on an interview with our relationship expert, Kelli Miller, licensed pyschotherapist and award-winning author. Check out the full interview here.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I stop being so anxious about sex?Maria AvgitidisMaria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.
Matchmaker & Dating ExpertRemind yourself that sex isn't always going to be perfect the first time you have it with someone! Sex is very exploratory since you're getting to know someone new. -
QuestionHow do I help my partner with fear of intimacy?Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWKelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
PsychotherapistGive them the space to really communicate what they're feeling. There's a lot of different reasons someone might have a fear of physical intimacy, so it's important that you understand where your partner is coming from.
References
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://www.rtor.org/2019/06/28/mental-health-and-intimacy/
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/fear-of-abandonment/
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://livingwell.org.au/relationships/partners-sexual-intimacy/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/recovering-from-rape-and-sexual-trauma.htm
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/genophobia-fear-of-sex
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/phobias/overview/
- ↑ https://www.rtor.org/2019/06/28/mental-health-and-intimacy/
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9888-body-dysmorphic-disorder
- ↑ https://www.rtor.org/2019/06/28/mental-health-and-intimacy/
- ↑ https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/about-child-trauma
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://livingwell.org.au/relationships/partners-sexual-intimacy/
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/5-strategies-for-dealing-with-your-partners-fear-of-intimacy/
- ↑ https://livingwell.org.au/relationships/partners-sexual-intimacy/
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/fear-of-abandonment/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/recovering-from-rape-and-sexual-trauma.htm
- ↑ https://livingwell.org.au/relationships/partners-sexual-intimacy/
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/5-strategies-for-dealing-with-your-partners-fear-of-intimacy/
- ↑ Maria Avgitidis. Matchmaker & Dating Expert. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/5-strategies-for-dealing-with-your-partners-fear-of-intimacy/
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
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