How to Protect Yourself from Negative Energy

Co-authored by Alyssa Chang and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: January 19, 2023 References

Chances are, you’ve probably met an “energy vampire,” or a negative person who leaves you feeling drained and empty after a simple conversation. Energy vampires can come in all shapes and sizes, whether it’s an attention-hogging relative, a “friend” who loves to play the victim, or a co-worker who won’t stop talking about their problems.^{[1]
X
Research source} While you can’t remove these negative people from your life, you can protect yourself from other people's bad vibes and toxic tendencies. We’ve put together a few simple tips and tricks to help get you on your way.

1

Think positive thoughts.

It’s not your job to carry someone else’s negativity. Instead, make a conscious effort to think hopeful, grateful, and positive thoughts. Focus on looking for the good in every situation, instead of dwelling on someone else’s misery and negativity. Remember: at the end of the day, you are only responsible for yourself and your own happiness, and not anyone else’s.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Instead of thinking, “I always feel awful after talking with Jen,” think something like “Jen may not be fun to talk to, but I won’t let that conversation ruin my day.”
- You might also think “Today is going to be a great day” or “I know that no matter what happens today, my friends and family have my back.”

2

Move to a different room.

Your time and energy are just as valuable as anyone else’s. You don’t owe anyone your time and conversation, especially energy vampires. If you’re sensing someone else’s bad vibes, feel free to leave the area—your mental health and wellbeing are most important!^{[3]
X
Research source}
- For example, if someone like your roommate is an energy vampire, spend as little time around them as you possibly can.

3

Set boundaries for yourself.

Boundaries are a polite, effective way to block off negative energy. Let your peers, co-workers, relatives, friends, and acquaintances know what your limits are. Tell an energy vampire that you’re feeling tired, or that you’re preoccupied with something else at the moment. If you have to spend time with a negative person, like a relative, set firm start and end times for your meet-up.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- You might say, “Sorry, I can’t talk right now. I’m behind on some assignments” or “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, so I’m not up for a long chat right now.”
- You might agree to have lunch with a toxic friend or relative for 1 hour instead of leaving the outing open-ended.

4

Act assertively.

It’s okay to call a negative person out on their negativity. Listening to the constant complaints and gripe of a friend, relative, co-worker, or acquaintance is exhausting, and not your responsibility. Instead of letting them go on and on, challenge their bad attitude. Invite them to look for solutions instead of dwelling on the past.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- You might say, “I’m sorry you’re feeling frustrated, but complaining isn’t going to solve anything.”
- You could also say, “I’m sorry you’re having a rough day, but I have a lot of work to do and don’t have time to sit here with you.”

5

Steer clear of negative people whenever possible.

Make an active choice to stay away from negative people. This may seem easier said than done, but it’s not as hard as you may think. Before going to school, work, or any other place, make a vow that you won’t talk or interact with any negative people. This way, you’ll be completely protected from their negative vibes.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you might take a different route to class so you don’t bump into a toxic, constantly complaining peer.
- You could sit or work further away from a negative colleague so you won’t be distracted at work.
- It’s not always possible to avoid negative people, but you can still try to keep your distance.

6

Surround yourself with friends.

Embracing positive energy is just as important as expelling negative energy. Whenever you can, spend lots of time hanging out with encouraging and supportive friends. Positive energy is one of the best ways to protect yourself from negative energy!^{[7]
X
Research source}
- After a tough day at work, you might go out for drinks with some friends.
- Good friends won’t judge you and will support you unconditionally. You’ll feel happy and content when you’re around them, instead of emotionally drained.^{[8]
  X
  Research source}

7

Stay calm.

Getting stressed and upset won’t get rid of the negativity. Instead, do your best to stay calm around negative, energy-draining people, even if it’s really challenging. If you get upset, the negative person will probably get upset too, which won’t make anything better. Staying calm and collected is a simple but effective way to protect yourself from negative energy.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- For example, you might take a deep breath or excuse yourself from the room.

8

Don’t try to “fix” a negative person.

At the end of the day, you can only control yourself. Chances are, perpetually negative people don’t want to be fixed, and will continue to act up in the future. Instead of helping the negative person, put your own mental and emotional health first by keeping a safe distance.^{[10]
X
Research source}

9

Listen to your gut.

Energy vampires aren’t always easy to detect. Ultimately, it comes down to how you feel when you’re around one. If you’re always feeling drained after talking with a certain person, you can safely assume that they’re a negative, energy-sucking person.^{[11]
X
Research source}

10

Don't feel responsible for changing other people.

Negative people in your life may not change, and that's okay. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being optimistic about someone becoming more positive, but remember that you're not responsible for changing other people.^{[12]
X
Research source}

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I make my life more positive?

Alyssa Chang
Wellness Coach & Personal Trainer
Alyssa Chang is a nutrition coach and trainer, based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She uses her extensive background in brain-based neuroscience to work with clients on improving their connections with their brain and body to heal, reach goals, and move pain-free. She holds a BS in Kinesiology and Exercise, Nutrition and Wellness from the California State University, East Bay and is certified in Precision Nutrition, Z-health Performance and is certified by the National Council for Strength and Fitness.

Alyssa Chang

Wellness Coach & Personal Trainer

Expert Answer

Creating physical boundaries, like avoiding someone or working on another side of an office, helps to keep negative people from affecting you. If you can't make a physical boundary, emotional ones, such as not following people on social media or scheduling time during the day to be alone, work too.