How to Stop Being Unlucky

Co-authored by Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC

Last Updated: January 20, 2023 References

People often assume good luck is a result of pure chance. However, multiple factors affect your ability to encounter good fortune. Most people encounter the same number of opportunities each day. However, harboring a negative or self-defeating mindset can keep you from seeing the good fortune surrounding you. You can increase your chance of good fortune by breaking out of your comfort zone and trying new things. You can change your mindset to avoid self-defeating thought patterns. Lastly, seek outside help from friends and others. Surrounding yourself with positive people can help you be more open to good fortune in your own life.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Increasing Your Chance of Good Luck

1
Be on the lookout for opportunities. Oftentimes, we miss opportunities presented to us. You can chalk this up to bad luck, but it may be a result of how you view the world. If you feel unattractive, for example, you may miss the fact the bartender serving you is flirting with you. People who see each new experience as a chance for good luck or good fortune are more likely to notice opportunities.^{[1]
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- Studies show chance encounters and lucky breaks happen to everyone over the course of a lifetime. However, lucky people are the people who take advantage of these encounters. If you go into every situation looking for potential opportunity, you're more likely to recognize good fortune.^{[2]
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- For example, say you have to attend a networking event. If you go into the situation viewing it as a burden, you'll be less likely to branch out and interact with others. If you go into the situation expecting to find good fortune, you'll talk, make connections, and may end up impressing a potential employer. In order to find lucky breaks, you need to be on the lookout.^{[3]
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- View every new experience as a chance for good fortune. If you're new to a city, for example, see taking your dog for a walk as an opportunity to meet new friends. If you're just starting school, see the review session after your science class as a chance to get to know your professor. Connections you make from day-to-day encounters can bring you good luck in your personal and professional life.
2
Embrace new experiences. Those who are prone to good luck put their eggs in a variety of baskets. If you're open to new experiences, and say "Yes" to chances you are given, you're more likely to find good fortune. Try to take new opportunities as they come.
- Curiosity and anxiety are usually the two emotions people experience when presented with a new opportunity. For many people, anxiety eventually wins out. While you may be wildly curious about a new job opening, you may find yourself quickly listing a thousand ways the new job could go wrong. You may convince yourself it's not worth applying.^{[4]
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- Try to silence the voice of anxiety when presented with a new opportunity. Do not give into worry over what may go wrong in a new situation. Instead, think to yourself, "This could be interesting to try. I'll give it a chance."^{[5]
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- Not every new chance you take will result in good fortune. However, your chance of good luck increases when you expose yourself to more things. Look at Steve Jobs, a famously fortunate entrepreneur. He audited a calligraphy course after dropping out of college. Later, he would use that knowledge for the design of many Apple products. While a new experience may not be directly related to your idea of success, opening yourself up to new experiences may pay off in unexpected ways down the road.
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3
Interact with many different people. In our modern era, a solid social network is vital to success. If you know a lot of different people, this can lead to good luck down the road. Studies show extroverted people tend to have higher rates of good luck and good fortune. Success, especially career success, often comes from networking. The bigger your social network, the higher your chance of catching a lucky break.^{[6]
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- There are many ways to meet people. You can join a club in your town or city. You can look online, on sites like MeetUp, to try and find groups related to your interests.
- You should also get online. If you don't already have active social media accounts, build them. Many people build relationships with acquaintances through sites like Twitter and Facebook.^{[7]
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4
Change your routine. Many people who view themselves as chronically unlucky stick to rigid routines. If you do the same thing every day, or every week, you may miss out on chance encounters and opportunities. Make an effort each week to break your routine slightly.
- Variety increases your chance for random encounters, which can often lead to good fortune. If you only talk to your friends when going to a party, you'll miss out on the opportunity to meet new people, for example. Try to make room for variety in your life.^{[8]
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- Small changes, even ones not related to your goals, can alter your mindset. Simply, say, biking to work instead of driving can get your mind used to variety and change. If you keep making tiny changes each day, you may open yourself up to new things and new opportunities. This can increase your chance of finding good luck.^{[9]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Changing Your Mindset

1
Avoid self-sabotage. Oftentimes, your mindset can lead to self-sabotage. If you expect things to go bad, or for certain patterns to repeat, you may prematurely throw away opportunities. Try to be aware of what you are thinking, and embrace the fact you cannot predict how an event or relationship will play out.
- If you see yourself as unlucky, you may unconsciously be uncomfortable when you encounter positive situations. For example, if you've been in bad relationships in the past, a relationship with fighting and distrust is your normal. You may shy away from decent, kind partners as you're only comfortable with people who are not nice to you.^{[10]
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- Try to be aware of the assumptions you're making in any given situation. When you're meeting a new person, for example, do you assume they'll treat you a certain way? Why? You may be bringing in baggage from past friendships and romantic relationships. When you start a new job, do you expect it go bad? If you've had bad work experiences in the past, you may unconsciously expect those patterns to repeat. This can lead you to avoiding good opportunities in favor of repeating the same negative behaviors.^{[11]
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- Try to remind yourself you cannot predict the future. When encountering something new, pause and say to yourself, "This is a new experience and I don't know how it will unfold." People are pattern-makers by nature, looking for signs in events and occurrences. Remind yourself predicting how something will turn out is irrational. The fact is, you do not know how a new job will play out. You do not know if a new friendship will prove negative. For all you know, this could be a new, exciting, and positive opportunity.
2
Have a positive mentality. Lucky people often view events differently than unlucky people. For example, say you fall down a flight of stairs. It hurt, but you're okay. You can think, "I have the worst luck!" or you can think, "I'm so lucky that I didn't break my neck." Fostering a positive outlook can help you open yourself up to good fortune.^{[12]
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- If you foster a positive mentality, you'll be more perceptive about the good around you. Internalizing negative situations, like the above accidents, can lead you to see yourself as an ultimately unlucky person. This can skew your perspective, resulting in you convincing yourself you're doomed to misfortune.
- Let's return to an example we talked about earlier. If you assume you're socially awkward and unattractive, you'll go to a bar expecting to be ignored. This may lead you to missing the fact the attractive bartender is flirting with you. You'll fail to notice this chance encounter as you went into the situation with a negative attitude.
- Instead, go into a social situation with a positive attitude. Instead of thinking, "I can't wait to see how I make an ass out of myself," think to yourself, "I'm so excited for an opportunity to connect with new people."
3
Reduce anxiety. Anxiety has a negative effect on perception. If you're worried about your work, job, school, or social life, that stress can prevent you from seeing the good around you. Taking steps to reduce your anxiety can greatly help you open yourself up to good fortune.^{[13]
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- Exercise can greatly curb anxiety. Strive to be physically active most days of the week. Take a long bike ride after work. Stop by a community school for a swim before your morning classes. If you're new to physical activity, start with an easy routine and work your way up.^{[14]
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- Cut back on alcohol and caffeine. Both these substances can cause you to have an increase in anxiety. Stick to only a couple of caffeinated beverages each day, and only have one to two drinks a night.^{[15]
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- Look into meditation, visualization, and yoga. All these activities can help curb anxiety. You can find guided meditation and yoga routines online. You should also consider taking a class in yoga or meditation.^{[16]
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- Slow down and take your time to stop yourself from overthinking and getting anxious.
4
Cut yourself some slack. People prone to good luck and good fortune adopt a go-with-the-flow mentality. Working too hard can actually prevent good fortune. You may, for example, keep at a task you'd be better off abandoning. Try to follow you intuition and pursue your passions. This is far more effective than pushing yourself beyond reasonable limits.^{[17]
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- Give yourself a few hours a day to work on activities unrelated to work or personal goals. This allows you to recharge and re-energize, both of which can allow you to be more perceptive of opportunities around you.^{[18]
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- It's okay to give up sometimes. Staying the course when things are not working will block your ability to be innovative. Experimenting with new methods can lead to better fortune. For example, say you've been working on an article for work for hours. The writing still feels muddled and repetitive. At this point, scrap it and start over. You'll be frustrated at first, but you may find an even better approach after stepping away from the task for a few days.
5
Accept setbacks. Not everything you do will turn out well. Embracing this fact can lead to an increase in good luck. If you're not afraid to fail, you'll pursue a variety of opportunities. The more you pursue, the more likely something will eventually turn out for you.^{[19]
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- Do not listen to the voice of hesitance when you encounter an opportunity. For example, say you live in Los Angeles and are a budding screenwriter. A producer asks to see your portfolio. You may never hear back after sending him your writing portfolio, and you may worry about the emotional toll of rejection. However, you will likely regret not trying even more.
- Studies show you'll be happier pursuing multiple things at once. While many of your pursuits will fail, people are happier with variety in their life. In addition to increasing your chance of good luck, you may be a happier individual if you embrace variety.^{[20]
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- Keep a journal to track changes in your emotions and how they're affecting you so you can be more in tune with your feelings.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Seeking Support

1
Surround yourself with positive people. Positivity is contagious. If you surround yourself with genuine, encouraging people, you'll have more self confidence. This can allow you to be more open to the kinds of opportunities that can lead to good luck and good fortune.
- Seek out friends who look on the bright side of life. Make plans with the co-worker who always has nice things to say. Invite your friend Tina, who's known for her bright and sunny attitude, out for a cup of coffee.
- Call family members who tend to be more positive. If your brother has a gloomy outlook on life, do not phone him after a bad day. Instead, call up your mother who always sees the positive.
2
Limit contact with negative people. It's very hard to be open to good fortune when you're surrounded by negative people. Negativity, like positivity, can be contagious. You may be unable to embrace new opportunities if you're surrounded by people with a defeatist attitude.
- Learn to disengage with negativity. People who are chronically negative usually do not actually want help. They just want to continually complain. If a friend or family member is going on about a problem ceaselessly, do not try to offer solutions. Instead, say something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm sure you'll figure it out." Then, end the conversation.^{[21]
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- Limit your contact with draining people. You do not have to end a friendship or relationship completely. However, see that person less. Do not call, text, or interact with a negative person every day or every week. You'll end up getting dragged into their worldview, resulting in you missing chances for good luck.^{[22]
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3
Seek therapy, if necessary. If you believe you're chronically unlucky, you may have an underlying psychological condition. Depression, for example, can often lead to a negative overall outlook about oneself and one's prospects.^{[23]
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Go to source} If you worry you suffer from depression or another mental health issue, see a therapist.
- You can find a therapist by going through your insurance provider. You can also ask your regular doctor for a referral.
- If you're a student, you may be entitled to free counseling from your college or university.

Community Q&A

Question

I have no friends at school. I sit separately from the other children, because they don't like me at all because I am black. What should I do? I really wish I hadn't been born because of this.

Benjamin M.

Top Answerer

1. See if there are other students who are experiencing racism and connect with them. 2. Get involved in the black community outside of school. Seek advice and support from older members who may have similar experiences. 3. Take care of yourself. Those people are causing you stress. Don't let that stress get in the way of eating properly, studying, and other things you need to do. 4. Become or get an advocate. Raise the problem with the administration or get an experienced community member to raise it for you. Those students need to be educated and that takes people with experience doing this kind of education.
Question

I am a positive person with no luck. I help many people, but it's no use; whatever I do, I get negative results even though I keep calm and am a happy-go-lucky person.

Community Answer

It's confirmation bias: if you're on the lookout for negative results, when you see them, you'll think that you only receive negative results. But negative results are only part of what you're receiving; you're also receiving positive results, even if you may not be aware of them (or are overlooking them). You're always going to experience both in everything you do. But spend some time just focusing on the positive effects of your actions, and don't place expectations on results, but rather in doing what feels right to you.