How to Reflect on Your Life

Co-authored by Sandra Possing

Last Updated: September 15, 2021 References

Reflection helps you assess where you have come from and where you are going. You can reflect on life in many ways. By taking a walk down memory lane you can get in touch with who you used to be and allow this information to help you improve. Then, you can create daily and monthly reflection practices that move you closer to making positive changes in your life.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Walking Down Memory Lane

1
Review your biggest accomplishments. Sometimes you don't give yourself enough credit for the many positive milestones in your life. You might look around and compare yourself to others on their journey while ignoring the many achievements you have made possible.
- Reflect on the greatest milestone or accomplishments in your life. Write these down and review the list regularly when you start to doubt your capabilities.^{[1]
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- For example, you might list "Graduating from college," "Getting a promotion at work," or "Helping start a local fundraiser for needy families." These accomplishments can be anything that makes you proud.
2
Think about challenges you have overcome. Along with achievements, you can also get insight into the many challenges you have faced in your life. Doing this can help you remember how strong and persistent you can be. Plus, if a challenge remains difficult for you, you can devise new ways of trying to overcome it.^{[2]
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- Jot down some major challenges you have faced. Notate how you viewed these barriers at the time and how you look at them now. Then, spend some time thinking about what you would change about the situation if you could.
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3
Be nostalgic. You might assume there’s no good in revisiting old memories. Many confuse the feeling of nostalgia with “living in the past.” In truth, nostalgia can offer rewarding psychological benefits such as fighting loneliness, boredom, and anxiety.^{[3]
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Research source} Plus, it makes the fabric of your life appear richer because you come to see how even tiny moments impact your life's journey.
- If you have a memory or keepsakes box, go through it every now and then. Look at photos, old cards, and certificates of achievement from your school days. Reread old letters or notes from previous lovers. It may even be nice to listen to music from a certain period in your life.
4
Ask yourself what would be different. If you are working towards making changes in life and achieving goals, start asking yourself how you might want to engage in life differently. What types of things would you be doing and experiencing? Would this make you happier or more relaxed?^{[4]
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- Provide yourself with daily positive affirmations and self-talk to help you reach towards the changes you desire to make. By incorporating positive affirmations, you may increase your overall self-esteem and your motivation to reach your goals.
5
Reach out to old friends. Nostalgia also seems to help you strengthen your relationships and enhance your feelings of social connectedness. Take advantage of these redeeming qualities by calling up an old pal from a previous time in your life. If possible, it may even be nice to visit with them, too. Bring any relevant items from your keepsake box along with you.^{[5]
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- You might say to an old high school friend, “Alice, I was looking through some of my old things and found some picture from our cheerleading days. It made me remember all the great times we shared. I’d love to get together with you and revisit those memories. Want to grab coffee tomorrow?”
6
Revisit places of importance. It seems that sensory details lend to a better nostalgic experience. Take a trip back down memory lane by going to some places that held great memories for you. There you can reflect on the sights, sounds, and smells of times past.^{[6]
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- For example, it may be nice to go to your grandma’s house and imagine how her kitchen was once filled with the smell of cherry pie. Or, stop by your elementary school. Close your eyes and remember the sounds of children laughing and squealing on the playground. Hold a related keepsake item in your hand to evoke stronger memories.
- To keep the experience positive, avoid revisiting places with strong negative or traumatic memories. Try to think fondly on the wonderful experiences you have had in these locations.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Starting a Daily Reflection Habit

1
Reflect on your values and live accordingly. Our personal values greatly define the experience of our lives. They drive us forward and help us make decisions. Reacquaint yourself with your personal values. Then, take daily actions that align with your personal values.^{[7]
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- For example, you might determine that your highest values are honesty, loyalty, and charity. Create a collage of images (sort of like a vision board) that relate to these values. Place it somewhere you can see it every day.
- Then, as you start and finish each day make a commitment to behave in a way that demonstrates these values. If you want to be honest, avoid telling lies. If you want to be charitable, volunteer or give back in some way.
2
Learn mindfulness meditation. The simplest way to reflect is by tuning in to the present moment. Set aside 5 to 10 minutes daily to sit in silence. This helps train your mind to slow down and engage with the here and now. Mindfulness meditation also raises your self-awareness.^{[8]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- As you sit in silence, focus on a place in the room in front of you or merely pay attention to your breathing. Competing thoughts will arrive, but don’t judge yourself about this. Simply return your focus to the room or your breath. Breathe in and out calmly and deeply.
- You can set a timer for your time-frame. When the buzzer sounds, go about your daily activities like usual.
3
Practice gratitude.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.} Try starting a gratitude journal. A powerful aspect of reflection is its capacity to show your good fortune. This doesn’t necessarily mean money or power. Instead it refers to the simple details that come together to make a life well-lived. Start a daily gratitude practice, and within a matter of time you will start to feel much more positive about your life.^{[10]
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- Write down three things each day that you are thankful for. For example, you might write “a quick telephone chat with my best friend,” “getting everything on my to-do list completed,” or “a beautiful, sunny day.”^{[11]
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  Greater Good Magazine
  Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
  Go to source}
4
Thank the people who impact your life. A gratitude journal helps you define all that you have to be grateful for. However, this is a private experience. You can use your reflection to acknowledge the people who have influenced your life. Then, take out the time to personally thank them.^{[12]
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Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
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- You may want to acknowledge your parents, friends, teachers, supervisors, and even exes who impacted your life in some way. Consider inviting them out to lunch, writing a thank you note, or simply calling them to say "You have been a constant source of support in my life. Thank you."
- You can also coordinate with a friend and text each other 1 thing you're grateful for each day.^{[13]
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  Expert Source
  
  Sandra Possing
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.}
5
Jot down notes after leaving an experience. Reflection can help you connect with the activities you engage in daily. Keep a notebook with you and make a few notes about the thoughts, feelings, and ideas that came to you after significant experiences. Over time, you may learn to spot patterns in your mood or even figure out the causes of negative and positive thoughts.^{[14]
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Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
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- For example, you finish an important presentation at work. You might jot down something like “Nervous at first, but as I got started, I felt exhilarated. Really liked commanding the attention of an audience. Think I might agree to more public speaking responsibilities.”
- Such a reflection may inspire you to take on more challenges and projects that you previously thought you didn’t like.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Doing a Monthly Review

1
Set objective monthly goals. Monthly reflections can steer you in the direction of your dreams by keeping you on track with goal-achievement. To do this, develop short-term SMART goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Then, come up with actions you can take to reach these goals within the next month.^{[15]
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- For instance, you might set a goal to make an “A” on your sociology college term paper. To accomplish this, you might ask your professor for specific resources to guide your writing. Then, you might build a schedule for elements like research, outlining, writing, revising, and even getting a second pair of eyes on the paper for a critique.
- You can develop longer-term goals, too. But for the purposes of regular reflection, month-to-month review periods are a great way to get started.
2
Set a time frame. Set a time frame to track the progress of the goals you have made for yourself. Set the time that is reasonable and achievable for you. It can be daily, weekly, or monthly.^{[16]
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- At the end of your time frame, track how well you did on that personal goal. What were you able to achieve? What do you still need to work on? Do you need to set another time frame to work on a particular goal more?
- If you need more time, ask yourself what may have gotten in the way earlier. Setting these time frames and allowing yourself times of revision will help increase your sense of self-efficacy and keep you motivated.
3
Do something daily to move you towards your goals.^{[17]
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Expert Source

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.} After you have set monthly goals, add something to your to-do list daily that helps you achieve them. This can be a small or large task, as long as it’s productive and goal-oriented.^{[18]
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- Let’s say one of your monthly goals is to lose three pounds. You might set out to exercise for 30 minutes daily. Another feasible action might be to eat three servings of vegetables daily.
- Taking imperfect action is better than not taking any action at all! Don't let a fear of failure keep you from taking that first step.^{[19]
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  Expert Source
  
  Sandra Possing
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.}
4
Review your progress at month’s end. To grow from the experience, you will need to carve out time to assess your progress each month. You might schedule in one to two hours on the last day of each month for a review. During your review, you should evaluate what goals went as planned and which were more challenging for you.
- It’s important to use this reflection time to celebrate small wins and evaluate setbacks. Don’t just beat yourself up if you didn’t accomplish a goal. Try to understand why you didn’t. Also, pat yourself on the back for the small victories you made throughout the month. You may even set up rewards for these achievements.
5
Revise your goals as needed. After your reflection period each month, spend some time thinking about whether you are headed in the right direction. Were you on track to reaching your goals, or did you fall short? Were your goals realistic or borderline impossible? Think about what you might need to change for the following month. Then, sit down and write out new monthly goals and repeat the process.^{[20]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How do stop being critical of myself?

Sandra Possing
Life Coach
Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on mindset and leadership transformation. Sandra received her coaching training from The Coaches Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a BA in Anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.

Sandra Possing

Life Coach

Expert Answer

I would recommend looking for validation within yourself rather than from other people. Remember that accomplishments and praise don't define your self-worth. Rather, practicing self-love will help you see all the great qualities you possess.