How to Talk With a Person Who Stutters

Co-authored by Devin Fisher, CCC-SLP and Jennifer Mueller, JD

Last Updated: June 9, 2022 References Approved

Stuttering affects a person's ability to speak smoothly—but it doesn't mean that they have any problem thinking or don't have valuable things to say! If you don't have a lot of experience talking to someone who stutters, you might find it frustrating at first or be worried about hurting the person's feelings. Here, we've compiled some tips on listening and conversing with a person who stutters so you can be supportive.^{[1]
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1

Listen patiently without interrupting.

Give the person enough time to say what they want to say. When you interrupt the person or finish their words or sentences for them, it's disempowering. Let them choose their own words, even if it takes them a little longer to get it out.^{[2]
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- Some people who stutter actually prefer if you finish their sentences for them, especially in high-pressure situations when their stuttering might get worse. Just ask what they prefer!

2

Nod and make eye contact with them.

This shows them you're listening to what they say, not how they say it. It means a lot to someone who stutters when you take the time to pay attention to them, even if they might take a while to get their words out. Turn towards them and make normal eye contact, staying focused on them as they speak rather than looking around.^{[3]
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- Avoid looking at your phone, watching TV, or doing anything else that draws your attention away. The person will appreciate your undivided attention.

3

Maintain a normal facial expression.

Look at them the same way you'd look at anyone else in a conversation. When someone stutters, well-meaning people often make a concerned expression or furrow their brow. This can make the person feel as though they're burdening you or that you're looking down on them.^{[4]
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- It can be tough to know if you're making "the face"—you might do it without realizing it, and that's okay! Just try to be aware of your expression as much as possible.

4

Ask them to clarify if you don't understand.

Asking for clarification is much better than pretending to understand. Anyone who stutters is well aware that sometimes they don't speak clearly. Rather than assume you got the gist of what they were trying to say, let them know if you didn't get it so they can repeat it for you.^{[5]
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- For example, you might say, "I heard you say that you enjoyed history class, but I didn't catch the last part. What did you say you were studying again?"
- Don't worry about making things harder on them by having them repeat something. They'll appreciate the fact that you're asking them for clarification like you would anyone else.

5

Avoid giving the person advice.

Don't tell the person to "relax" or "slow down." These types of remarks aren't constructive or helpful. High-pressure situations can make it more difficult to control a stutter, but this doesn't mean the person is anxious or rushing their speech. They can make the person feel belittled, even if you mean well.^{[6]
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- Instead, be respectful and wait patiently for the person to finish what they're trying to say. Let them know through your body language that you have time to listen to them, even if it takes them longer to speak.

6

Never make jokes about stuttering.

No one who stutters wants to be made into a punchline. For people who stutter, speaking can be embarrassing and difficult—in part because they're worried other people will make fun of them. Remember that the person can't control the stutter and there's nothing funny about it to them.^{[7]
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- For example, for many people who stutter, saying their name is one of the hardest things. Making a joke out of it, like asking them if they forgot their name, only draws attention to their problem and makes them feel awful.
- Similarly, if you hear someone else making jokes about it, call them out! You don't have to be confrontational. For example, you might say, "I don't get it. Can you explain why that's funny?" Asking this question forces the person to acknowledge the cruelty of their joke.

7

Give people who stutter a chance to talk in a group.

Watch the person for signs that they want to participate. When you're in a group of people and everyone's talking, people who stutter often have a hard time getting a word in. In some situations, they might not even try because they're afraid of causing the conversation to stall out or die.^{[8]
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- For example, suppose your friend Susan stutters. When you're in a group, your friends are talking about their pets and you can see Susan start and stop talking several times. You might say, "Susan, weren't you telling me a funny story about your cat yesterday? I bet everyone would love to hear it!"

8

Speak to them clearly in an unhurried way.

Don't rush your speech, mumble, or blend your words together. If you mumble or talk under your breath, the person might not understand exactly what you say. Unless the person is also hard of hearing, though, you don't have to raise your voice—just speak like you normally would. ^{[9]
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- Make eye contact with the person so they know you're talking directly to them, then carry on your conversation as you would with anyone else.

9

Help people who stutter in stressful situations.

Supporting them can take some of the pressure off in public. Stuttering can be harder to control when the person is in a new or strange environment, when they're under pressure, or when they feel like they're on the spot. Support them when you can so they have time and space to talk.^{[10]
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- For example, suppose you're ordering food at a restaurant. Ask the person if they want to place their own order or if they'd rather you do it for them. If they want you to order on their behalf, accommodate their request without mocking or belittling them.
- Talk to the person about their preferences before you just take over—make sure you're acting in a way that they appreciate and find beneficial.

10

Create a relaxing home environment if your child stutters.

Give your child a place where they feel supported to ease stuttering. Stress and tense situations often increase stuttering. If your child can feel comfortable and relaxed at home, they'll have a better time communicating.^{[11]
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- The more supportive the home environment, the more the child will find their own space to develop confidence and focus on all aspects of development, not just speech.^{[12]
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  Devin Fisher, CCC-SLP
  Speech Language Pathologist
  Expert Interview. 15 January 2021.}

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Question

How can I help make things easier for my child?

Ran D. Anbar, MD, FAAP
Pediatric Pulmonologist & Medical Counselor
Dr. Ran D. Anbar is a pediatric medical counselor and is board certified in both pediatric pulmonology and general pediatrics, offering clinical hypnosis and counseling services at Center Point Medicine in La Jolla, California and Syracuse, New York. With over 30 years of medical training and practice, Dr. Anbar has also served as a professor of pediatrics and medicine and the Director of pediatric pulmonology at SUNY Upstate Medical University. Dr. Anbar holds a BS in Biology and Psychology from the University of California, San Diego and an MD from the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine. Dr. Anbar completed his pediatric residency and pediatric pulmonary fellowship training at the Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School and is also a past President, fellow and approved consultant of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis.

Ran D. Anbar, MD, FAAP

Pediatric Pulmonologist & Medical Counselor

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I think it's important to understand that some of your child's challenges are going to be up to them to handle. You can't do everything for your child, and they're going to learn and grow by overcoming adversity.
Question

What do you say to someone who stutters?

Devin Fisher, CCC-SLP
Speech Language Pathologist
Devin Fisher is a Speech-Language Pathologist based in Las Vegas, Nevada. Devin specializes in speech and language therapy for individuals with aphasia, swallowing, voice, articulation, phonological social-pragmatic, motor speech, and fluency disorders. Furthermore, Devin treats cognitive-communication impairment, language delay, and Parkinson's Disease. He holds a BS and MS in Speech-Language Pathology from Fontbonne University. Devin also runs a related website and blog that offers speech-language therapy resources and information for clinicians and clients.

Devin Fisher, CCC-SLP

Speech Language Pathologist

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You don't need to say anything. It's not something they can help, and they're likely doing their best to avoid stuttering. Instead, remain calm and patient as they speak. Show them that you enjoy talking with them and are interested in what they have to say.
Question

Why do I stutter more when I'm nervous?

Devin Fisher, CCC-SLP
Speech Language Pathologist
Devin Fisher is a Speech-Language Pathologist based in Las Vegas, Nevada. Devin specializes in speech and language therapy for individuals with aphasia, swallowing, voice, articulation, phonological social-pragmatic, motor speech, and fluency disorders. Furthermore, Devin treats cognitive-communication impairment, language delay, and Parkinson's Disease. He holds a BS and MS in Speech-Language Pathology from Fontbonne University. Devin also runs a related website and blog that offers speech-language therapy resources and information for clinicians and clients.

Devin Fisher, CCC-SLP

Speech Language Pathologist

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Situations where there's increased tension might trigger more stuttering events. For instance, you might get a lot of anxiety around speaking in front of people, and then find that you might stutter more.

Warnings

Don't turn stuttering into the punchline of a joke, especially when you're within earshot of a person who stutters. It can be really tough to hear someone you think is a friend turn your challenge into a joke.^{[18]
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Never criticize the person for stuttering—it isn't something they can help. If you're critical, they'll avoid talking to you in the future.^{[19]
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Devin Fisher, CCC-SLP
Speech Language Pathologist
Expert Interview. 15 January 2021.}

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