What to Do When Your Crush Likes You and Someone Else

Co-authored by Courtney Quinlan and Kira Jan

Last Updated: March 10, 2022 References

It can feel totally gut-wrenching when your crush likes you… but they also like someone else. So what do you do when you’re stuck in a love triangle? We’ll walk you through how to handle your feelings and convince your crush that you’re the right person for them.

1

Be friendly to your crush and the other person.

It’s easy to feel jealous, but remember, kindness is an attractive trait. We know it’s really tough when your crush likes someone else. Still, be nice to the person your crush likes, and avoid speaking negatively about them or gossiping. Try not to get mad at your crush, either. Your crush can’t help how they feel, and in time, they’ll realize how amazing you are.^{[1]
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- Make an effort to include the person your crush likes in activities. For example, you could invite them to sit with you at lunch.
- Give the other person your crush likes a compliment to show you’re willing to be friends. You could say something like, “Jamie, I really like your shirt. Where’d you get it?”
- Keep your social media posts and messages kind. Leave a nice comment on your crush’s feed. Then, spread positivity by leaving a nice comment for the person your crush likes, too.

2

Get your crush's attention with playful flirting.

Humor and lighthearted challenges can help you two bond. Smile when your crush is around. Joke around with them, text them funny memes, and bond over your favorite hobbies. When your crush sees how much you two have in common, they’ll be more likely to want to be with you. Most good relationships start off with strong friendship.^{[2]
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- Ask your crush if they want to do a TikTok or Instagram challenge with you and your friends.
- Challenge your crush to play an online game with you like Wordle or Among Us.
- Send them a cheesy pickup line if you’re feeling bold!
- Play a quick game of “Truth or Dare” or “Would You Rather” over text.

3

Learn more about your crush.

The closer you two are, the more likely you’ll win your crush over. Find out what your crush likes by asking them directly, looking through their social media profile, or talking to their friends. Once you know some of their favorite topics, you’ll have endless things to talk about together.^{[3]
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- What’s their favorite food? Once you know, you could try surprising your crush with a tasty snack.
- What kind of music do they like? Try hinting you like them by sending a song and saying, “This reminds me of you.”
- What’s their ideal way to spend a weekend? That info will help you plan an activity you can invite them to.
- What’s going on in their life? You can send them an encouraging text if they’ve got a tough presentation or project coming up.

4

Try to spend more time with your crush.

Spending more time together can help you move out of the friendzone. For a low-stress situation, ask your crush to hang out in group settings at first. Invite them to a movie night with friends, plan a park picnic with your classmates, or add your crush to a fun group chat.^{[4]
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- Once you’re in a group setting together, try to sit next to your crush or stand closer to them so you have more chances to talk one-on-one.
- If you’re feeling confident, you can also ask your crush to hang out with just the two of you. Say something like, “Hey, do you want to come over and study for the geometry test together?”

5

Spend time doing the things you love.

Stay busy so you don’t focus too much on your crush. It’s really easy to get wrapped up in thinking about your crush and stressing about whether they like you back. Instead, try writing a list of things you love to do whether that’s playing video games, going for a run, or baking elaborate desserts. Every day, try to cross 1 thing off that list.^{[5]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- As a bonus, by living your own fun life, you’ll show your crush what a unique person you are.^{[6]
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6

Focus on what makes you amazing.

It’s tempting to compare yourself to the other person your crush likes. But remember, you’re your own special person. You’ve got a whole list of talents, personality traits, and features that make you completely one-of-a-kind.^{[7]
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- Write a list of 5 things you like about yourself. Tell yourself why you like them. For instance, “I like that I’m strong because it makes me a good soccer player.”^{[8]
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- Talk to yourself with positive statements like, “I know I’m a good person and my friends love me.”^{[9]
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  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
- Stay true to yourself. If your crush likes you, they’ll like you for the real you.

7

Talk to your friends about how you’re feeling.

Sharing how you feel can help you work through your emotions. Your friends might be able to give you advice on what to do, especially if they know your crush well.^{[10]
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Research source} They might even have some helpful info on how much your crush likes you and whether they’re planning to ask you out.
- Be sure to only talk to people you trust so no one tells your crush before you’re ready.
- If you don’t feel comfortable talking to friends, try journaling about your feelings. You could try a prompt like “I feel sad/happy/excited when…”

8

Tell your crush how you feel.

It’s okay to make the first move.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Courtney Quinlan
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.} When you tell your crush that you like them, they might realize they feel the exactly same way—even if it seems like they like someone else, too.^{[12]
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Research source} Just be respectful of what your crush says in response. If they say they like you back, that’s amazing! If not, that’s okay, too. People can’t control how they feel, and how your crush feels doesn’t say anything about you.
- “I think I have a crush on you. No pressure, but do you feel the same way?”
- “What would you say if I told you I liked you as more than a friend?”’
- If they say they don’t feel the same way, you can say, “No worries. I’m just happy we’re friends.”
- "I'm really interested in you. Would you like to go out on a date?"^{[13]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Courtney Quinlan
  Matchmaker & Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.}

9

Limit contact with your crush if they don’t feel the same.

Give yourself time and space to heal. When your crush ends up dating someone else, it can help to stop spending as much time with them. Try muting or unfollowing them on social media. Skip group hangouts if you know your crush will be there. Try setting up your own activities with friends instead.^{[14]
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Research source}^{[15]
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Expert Source

Courtney Quinlan
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.}
- As hard as it may be, it's best to accept the situation for what it is and move on.^{[16]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Courtney Quinlan
  Matchmaker & Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.}

10

Remember you’ll find someone else.

There’s another person out there who’s going to like you for who you are! While crushes might feel really intense, they do fade away after a while.^{[17]
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Research source} Even though your crush was probably an incredible person, there are more great people out there.^{[18]
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- Talk to a family member or friend if you’re feeling sad about your crush.
- To meet new people, join a new club or try something you’ve always wanted to do.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you test a girl to see if she likes you?

Courtney Quinlan
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Courtney Quinlan is a Matchmaker and Dating Coach and the Owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding individuals a compatible partner, providing guidance throughout the dating process, and crafting events for singles in the Midwest. Courtney holds a BS in Broadcast Journalism from The University of Nebraska at Omaha.

Courtney Quinlan

Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Just be direct! If you suspect that she's interested, just say, "Hey, I'm interested in you. Do you have feelings for me or not?" Rather than playing guessing games, be upfront and don't beat around the bush.