How to Find Your Perfect Match

Co-authored by Louie Felix

Last Updated: November 28, 2021 References

Everyone wants to find a special person they truly connect with. Countless pieces of literature, music and art have confronted this same goal. Romance can be a struggle, but also an inspiring muse. If you're willing to work for it and truly believe there is someone special for you, you can find love.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Putting Yourself Out There

1
Open up and start dating now. The sooner you pursue romance, the sooner you'll find that special someone. It may be scary, but you have to start somewhere.
- Start with something as little as changing your body language. Avoid slouching, crossing your legs and arms, and stiffness. If you pull your shoulders back and relax you become approachable. ^{[1]
  X
  Research source}
- To break the ice and dive into the dating world, you could try finally going out with that acquaintance who's been crushing on you.
  - You may not be totally interested in every person you date, but it will give you experience.
2
Pay attention to your daily activities. For instance, instead of using your smartphone to distract yourself, take the initiative to look around your regular spots. Your future sweetheart may be closer than you think, so try talking to someone you find interesting.
- Strike up conversation with someone you often see at your favorite coffee shop.
- Ask a colleague out for a casual drink after work.
Advertisement
3
Do something you've always wanted to do. You may meet someone special while doing something fulfilling. This special someone might not be your usual type, but that could bring you fresh experiences in love and life.
- By trying new things together an unexpected and exciting love could blossom. There is a reason why the phrase “opposites attract” exists. ^{[2]
  X
  Research source}
  - For example, you enjoy skydiving and your date loves to read poetry at the park. The combination of a sense of adventure and an appreciation for simplicity could create a wonderful yin and yang.
4
Get an online dating profile. If you're too busy or nervous to physically put yourself out there, try it digitally. Dating websites and apps make it easy to find people who share the same interests. With just the click of a button you could meet your special someone.
- In this technological age, it is very common for couples find each other through dating websites and apps.^{[3]
  X
  Research source} To find your perfect dating website or app, browse the internet using key words that best describe your identity. Many websites and apps cater to specific hobbies, careers, and philosophies:
  - Hinge
  - Tinder
  - How About We
  - OkCupid
  - FarmersOnly.com
  - JSwipe
  - Match.com
  - Eventsandadventures.com
5
Get a friend to set you up. The majority of couples still meet through their friends, so why not give it a try.^{[4]
X
Research source} Ask someone you trust if they know anyone you might vibe with. When it comes to the trials of finding love, your friend may be the best judge.
- If you're trying to talk to someone you like, your friends can be the best support system. They can help you get the conversation going, boost your ego and leave you to do the rest.
- Try going on a double date. You'll probably be more comfortable in the presence of a friend and have a great time.
- Ask your friends to help you set up that online profile! As a third party, they can objectively choose which pictures you look best in and help you pick who to pursue.
- You can also use a professional matchmaking service to help you meet people who might suit your interests.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Louie Felix
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Being Yourself

1
Be honest. Feel free to express your true opinions and personality. If your suitor sticks around, your company was found truly enjoyable. If another date doesn't come about, you may feel rejected, but this proves that you were just not meant to be. Being honest and being true to yourself can help you avoid wasting time while dating.
- Furthermore, acting the way you think your suitor wants you to act rather than being yourself can foster feelings of resentment, stress, and discomfort. These feelings do not set a solid foundation for a relationship.^{[6]
  X
  Research source}
2
Attend more events that interest you. You might find someone there who shares the interests and more! This event and the commonalities you have will create easy talking points, and might lead to a first date.
- If you love literature and art, join a book club or get active in the artistic community.
- If you love to cook, take a cooking class and whip up conversation with a fellow chef.
- Even if you don't connect with anyone, you're still doing something you love.
3
Follow your instincts. Your suitor may not fit the ideal picture you had in mind, but if it feels right, pay attention to that. On the contrary, if there's anything that is disturbing to you, don't ignore the signs.
- Your unconscious mind responds to situations that reflect your goals (in this case being romance), so it's always good to trust your gut.^{[7]
  X
  Research source}

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Knowing What You Deserve

1
Make a list. Bullet point the negatives and the positives you find in your suitor. There should always be a longer list of positives if you want to maintain a healthy relationship.
- Keep adding to the list because everyday you could learn something positive or negative about your suitor.
- After a fight take a look at the list. It may help you appreciate what you have, or realize what you're lacking.
- This is a great exercise to put your relationship into a logical perspective. It may come in handy in times of stress. You might realize it's not your partner making you miserable, it's actually, for example, your job or your diet.
- This can also be helpful when you're looking for someone to date—make a list of the qualities you want, as well as your deal-breakers. However, it's important to remember that no single person is going to be 100% of what you're looking for. However, if you're open and willing to compromise, you should be able to find someone who meets most of what you're looking for.^{[8]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Louie Felix
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}
2
Think about what you will gain. Your perfect match should complement your current status and help you flourish.^{[9]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}Relationships are not stagnant, they will roll and fluctuate with progression and regression. But ultimately you want to find your relationship make positive leaps and bounds.
- Think about important aspects like:
  - Does your suitor support your goals?
  - Will your suitor push you to reach new heights?
  - Does your suitor inspire you?
3
Look for the qualities you respect. Remember the Golden Rule, "treat others the way you would like to be treated". If those you are pursuing lack major components that are important to you, do not overlook this.
- Pay attention to how your love interest treats others. Your suitor may treat you well, but if others are treated with disrespect, take that into future consideration.
- Think about what your suitor's relationships are like with their friends and family. Depending on circumstance, this could give you good insight into how your relationship might turn out.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Having Patience

1
Be confident. The quest to love is worth it and so are you! Confidence is attractive both physically and mentally, so boost your conviction and love who you are.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- Confident people are great salespeople. You confidently market yourself and prove to others why you are worthwhile.
- Furthermore, by having confidence in your date, your date will most likely like you too. We tend to like those who like us.^{[11]
  X
  Research source}
2
Don't give up. Don't stop dating just because you haven't found the one yet. More dates means more opportunities for love, it's just statistics. Everything worth having is worth fighting for.
- You may not fall in love on the first date, but you never know, it could happen on the second, 15th or even 100th date.
3
Learn from mistakes. With a lot of dating can come a lot of mistakes, if not on your part then on your date's part. Take a good look at your failed relationships, and try to learn what did and didn't work in each one.^{[12]
X
Expert Source

Louie Felix
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}
- With each failed date or rejection you learn how to play the dating game better.
  - You'll be more aware of warning signs and red flags.
  - You'll also learn what places you thrive best in. Which kinds of dates you get the most out of (whether it be an activity or simply getting coffee).
  - You'll start noticing a pattern. If you go on a ream of bad dates and relationships, look back and find commonalities. Then the next time you pursue a relationship, you can try something new.
- You'll discover more about yourself and what you really want out of life and a relationship.
4
Don't let the love-hunt consume you. Make the effort to find your perfect match, but don't let that become who you are. This could lead to settling for the wrong person.
- Others will recognize your joy in independence, individuality is attractive. ^{[13]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}

Expert Q&A

Question

What do I need to look for to find my perfect match?

Louie Felix
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Louie Felix is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker, and the founder and CEO of Matchmaking VIP, a company which provides concierge-level matchmaking services to clients around the world. He is also the COO of Agape Matchmaking based in New York City. With almost 16 years of professional matchmaking and dating coaching experience, Louie has served as CEO for the United States' two largest matchmaking companies serving over 50,000 clients. He has been featured as an expert matchmaker for shows on E! Entertainment Television, WeTV and the CW. He was also recently acknowledged as a top 5 worldwide matchmaker by both the International Dating Conference and the Matchmakers Alliance. Louie was also selected as one of America's top 10 Relationship Experts for the Great Love Debate National Tour.

Louie Felix

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Be open and willing to compromise, because chances are, you won't find someone who's 100% of what you're looking for. Think about what you want or who you see yourself with, then try to find a happy medium.

Warnings

Beware of manipulative people. You may have to make a mistake with one before you recognize what's happening, but you will learn from this and move on.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 25 Not Helpful 3