How to Become a Matchmaker

Co-authored by Louie Felix

Last Updated: January 7, 2023 Approved

Matchmaking is a growing business where money is waiting to be made. If you have a keen eye for people's behavior and interests, you may be able to pair them up with the love of their life, truly helping them become happier. If your idea of a perfect job involves an intense amount of time chatting about dating, this could be the career for you.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Getting the Love Rolling

1
Have the wings of a social butterfly. In order to be a matchmaker, to be any good at it, and to make money, you've gotta have friends up the wazoo. Friends upon friends upon friends, acquaintances, coworkers, family members, online connections, mentors, accomplices – your life is just brimming with people trying to get to know you better. And you've got to know them well enough that you can engage with them about their personal lives.
- Soon enough everyone you talk to will be a job prospect, or at least good experience. You need to be the type of person that enjoys talking to people about themselves and wants to see others succeed. Sound easy? Cool.
2
Start "matching" your friends, family, and acquaintances. If you have a couple of "set-ups" under your belt before you get your business going, you'll have a better idea of personal compatibility and how to broach the topic of dating with others. You'll also have something to talk about when your first real clients want to take you seriously.
- Right now, you're still low key. Just work on casually introducing friends to friends that you think might make a good couple. Hang out in groups and keep it pressure-free. You don't need to send them off on a romantic getaway quite yet.
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3
Be ready to play therapist. Playing matchmaker isn't just about making matches; it's also about listening to your clients wants and needs – and often issues. You'll have to hear about the last crazy ex, the commitment phobia they might be growing into, the fact that there are "no good men" or "no good women" out there, etc. Part of your job will be to convince them that they're worthy of love, they'll find it, and they'll be able to hold onto it. In a way, you give them hope.
- When you're choosing the right match for someone, it's important to analyze their past relationships. Ask them about what did work and what didn't work so you can help them avoid making the same relationship mistakes again.^{[1]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Louie Felix
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}
- This can actually help your matchmaking abilities, too. If you know Paul rushes into serious relationships, you won't think to pair him with Steven who is a 100% commitment phobic who likes to play the field. Who the people are on paper matters only as much as who the people are in their own minds.
4
Come up with a way to profile your clients. You'll need a way to manage every client you have, from their name and phone number down to what food they enjoy most. You can start a database, get a third party to manage this data for you, or come up with your own way to stay organized. Whatever it is, you need a way to keep every person's file readily accessible at the drop of a hat.
- This won't be such an issue when you only have a few clients to handle. But when they start coming in droves, you'll need a way to make sure your job doesn't literally drive you crazy. It's good to have multiple copies of everything, too, just in case something goes wrong.
5
Consider getting your matchmaking license by enrolling in a course or program. Matchmaking is a growing field, and many professionals are taking advantage of their expertise and turning to teaching the ropes.^{[2]
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Research source} Look into getting your license through a respected program so when you drop your business card, it's clear you know what you're doing.
- Make sure it's a reputable program, though. There are plenty of courses out there that are complete bunk and are just looking to take your money. Do your research before you pay anyone anything.
- This isn't mandatory, but it is recommended. A good course will also delve into the business aspect of it, helping you stay profitable in addition to getting clients and making successful matches.
6
Determine if you want to work for an established business or for yourself. If you're not looking to be your own employer and go through the red tape of getting your own business started, you may be able to work for a larger team of matchmakers. Some people who went the business route find themselves so busy that they need to hire fellow matchmakers just to help out with their clients. It could be you get handed a wad of people who need your assistance.
- The upside is that you get handed everything you need. The downside is that you have less autonomy and can't make your own rates. That being said, you could always start out working for someone else and if you like it, turn it into your own business prospect.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Turning Your Skills into Your Own Business

1
Come up with a business plan. So you decided to be your own small business, huh? Great. Now you need a business plan. This is essentially the homework it takes to get your business off on the right foot. Here's a few things a good business plan includes:
- Data on your projected market – who it is, how big it is, etc.
- Identifying your company's needs, at least initially
- Coming up with marketing ideas to promote your "product"
- Determining initial costs
- Research potential work spaces
- Identifying potential investors
2
Think of a name for your business. While you may be your entire business and you could simply go off of your name, it may be easier to develop a specific name for your matchmaking business, or at least a title for yourself. "Norma Jean: Professional Matchmaker," is fine, but "A Match Made in Heaven" may look better outside that brick building you're looking to rent. Ultimately, it's just something that has to match your vision.
- If you're planning on keeping it at just you and your website, you may be able to get away with not having a name or slogan. "Norma Jean – Professional Matchmaking Since 2014" will do just fine (though you may want to avoid rhyming). For now, don't fret about it. Concentrate on what you have to offer and the answer may come to you.
3
Take care of licensure, insurance, and the legalities of it all. Starting a small business isn't just about renting an office and getting someone else to pay your bills. There's lots of paperwork and red tape you have to get through to make sure it's all kept legal. With a good business plan as discussed above, this shouldn't be a problem.
- You may want to consider hiring an accountant and/or a legal advisor to help you get going in this process. The money needs to be tracked down the penny, especially in the early stages (mainly for tax purposes and to determine qualifying terms).
4
Rent a space and/or get a website. In today's day and age, you may be able to get away with just having a website – especially if you want to work nationwide (or even worldwide eventually). You'll then be able to focus on dealing with clients online, which is one of the easiest ways there is. You set your own schedule, and that's that. You're like a personalized version of eHarmony or Match.com.
- The benefit of having a brick and mortar establishment to your name is that you can work on the individual level with clients in the area. Meeting face to face will definitely give you a better read on them and likely lead to you producing better matches. It's also helpful for those that don't want to work through a computer.
5
Determine your rates. When you're just starting out, you're going to want to keep your prices very reasonable. You may even want to start out working for next to nothing – especially if the relationship doesn't last. But as you get your feet wet, start thinking about your rates. Are you charging per hour? Will certain, more difficult clients be charged more? What about your target audience – how much are they willing to spend on something like this?
- You won't want to charge on the basis of a relationship. Instead, try to focus your rates more widely. For example, for $1,000, they can have access for an entire year to your entire pool of clients that are looking for people like them. You'll work with them as much as they need to find that perfect person. It'll all depend on what kind of services you offer and what kind of people you're dealing with.
6
Get to marketing. To build your client base, you'll need to get the word out there, and word of mouth likely won't be enough. You'll need to buy ad space on Google, optimize your SEO, start offering discounts, buy airtime, work on partnerships, etc. When you're not chatting away with a potential client, this will be your full-time job. For a while, it'll be the brunt of it, too.
- A lot of it will be networking. Get your business a Twitter and Facebook, make events, attend events, and be the face of your company. Friend people, give them your card, sign up with a local bar, crash a speed dating event, and go to where your clients are. They may not be able to find you by themselves. After all, they're too busy looking for love.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Building Your Clientele

1
Hold interviews with your clients. As a matchmaker, you have two types of clients: those willing to get matched and those looking for matches. Those looking for matches are the only ones you're charging and the only ones who you work for. The ones willing to get matched are just in the pool waiting to be potentially chosen. But either way, you need to get a good understanding of both to make sure your matches make sense and can last the test of time.
- In the interview process, you'll need to get personal. Everything from their sexual history to how they sleep at night to their physical preferences to their relationship with their mother. You need to see the person like their significant other would see them. Talk about all the taboos and get their dirty laundry aired out. You need to see their bad side, too.
- You really have to coach your clients, because they might never have had to express what they're looking for out loud before. By digging deeper, you can see what the person really wants, which might sometimes be a little different than what they say they want.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Louie Felix
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.}
2
Have each client fill out all the necessary paperwork. Make sure every client signs a contract with you, establishing just how this process is going to work. In many cases, they may or may not find true love, and you don't want to get sued over this. You're simply offering the potential for love, more often than not. Whether it works out or not is often up to them. To avoid any unfortunate legal issues, have a contract drafted covering all the necessary details.
- Along with this, each client should be filling out informative paperwork on their own person as well. Have, in writing, all their information. Start with the basics – their name, phone number, employer, etc. – and end with personal questionnaires getting at the aspects of their personality. By the end, each client should have a folder you can reference later when need be.
3
Keep on networking and attending events, like singles' socials. Your moneymaker is your ability to meet people, point blank. What's more, your number of clients dwindles with every success you have, making it more imperative you keep the water flowing, if you will. To find your target audience, you'll need to network at the right places. Be active in your community. Go bar hopping, hit up festivals, attend parties you don't really care to go to, and always be on the lookout for potential clientele.
- Singles' events are veritable gold mines for a person in your business. It's best if you're single yourself, but you could probably work your way around that with enough charm and poise. It'll be very clear you're in there to make a buck, so put on your best outfit and keep the genuine smiles ready when you go in for the kill.
4
Keep in the loop on their relationships. Once you set up Stacey and Zach, your work isn't over. You'll need to check in with both of them routinely (especially in the beginning) to assess how it's going and if there's anything you can do to help. In this way, you're sort of like the mediator. After all, you want it to work out. It's a credit to your name!
- In addition to supplying the services you said you'd supply, you're also keeping in the loop as to how you're doing. If they fall madly in love, that's a success you can put under your belt and something you can talk about in the future. When you're pitching yourself to your next potential client, Stacey and Zach are a good way to show you have the chops and are worth the investment.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Creating Successful Matches

1
Know that at least at the beginning, it's all about looks. Let's set the record straight: most people, if not everyone, are looking for someone they're attracted to. If you want them to set up a second date, this has to be there. And it's not always physical. It can be totally intangible, like a person who just seems to have a "magnetic personality." So when you go to match two people up, think to yourself, "Will they be attracted to each other?"
- Because of this, you need to know what gets your client(s) going. Start with the physical stuff first, since that's the easiest. Once you find someone who you think meets their physical requirements, you can move onto the personality and values of their potential mate.
2
Get to the nitty gritty of your client's personalities. It's easy to look at Darrell and Andrea and think to yourself, "They both love a good wine – they should totally date." In reality, that's not how it works. It's great when people have things in common, but it's so much more than that. It turns out that Darrell is a huge introvert that hates crowds and Andrea is a night owl that parties all the time. There's no way those two would work. Know what the people are really like, not just aspects of something they like or do.
- Often this will mean getting real with your clients. Have they ever been abused? Do they end up dumping their significant others when things start getting tough? Do they have trust issues? Any mental illnesses or hints thereof? Are they aggressive or overly temperamental? Are they a doormat? These are all things that matter to their happiness in a mate and to your success as a matchmaker.
3
Weed out the clients that don't match your mission. In other words, get rid of the clients you don't get along with and that aren't looking for actual relationships. If someone has a violent history, don't take them on. If someone is only looking for a string of one-night stands, don't take them on. You're a business and you have the right to refuse service to anyone. After all, you're putting someone else's life in their trajectory. You don't want to end up instigating undue harm to any party.
- That's the extreme of it. The other side is those clients that just aren't actually ready for a relationship. We all know those people that say they want a relationship (and a successful one at that), but in reality they just need to love themselves first. If someone comes to you who is just too insecure to have a stable, adult relationship, let them know the truth. Maybe they don't even know.
4
Get a sense for how each client works. Every one of your clients is looking for a relationship, yes, but the word "relationship" means different things to different people. What does it mean to the person you're working with? Does it mean a movie on Friday nights and the occasional coffee between 80-hour work weeks or does it mean texting every 4 hours between furtive glances in the sheets?
- More often than not people are different in a relationship than they are just as themselves. They become stronger or weaker, have different expectations, different priorities, and focus on different things. This is the person you need to get to know beneath who they are on the outside. It's not just who they are, it's who they are as a boyfriend or girlfriend.
5
Help your clients do it right. Not only are you matchmaking your clients, but you're also operating as a mentor, therapist, and relationship guide. This is not the type of transaction where you get the check and that's that – you have an investment in these people. So when they're struggling or not sure what to do, help them out in whatever way you can. You want a happy customer, right?
- Let's say Cliff has been on a couple dates with several of your clients and nothing has worked out. In that situation, you may want to take Cliff aside and have him talk through the dates so you can pinpoint "where he's going wrong." It could be that he just has high expectations and isn't letting the relationships progress, or he's doing something silly like obsessing over an ex. You want your clients to be successful, but sometimes they need a prod in the right direction.

Expert Q&A

Question

What makes a good matchmaker?

Louie Felix
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Louie Felix is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker, and the founder and CEO of Matchmaking VIP, a company which provides concierge-level matchmaking services to clients around the world. He is also the COO of Agape Matchmaking based in New York City. With almost 16 years of professional matchmaking and dating coaching experience, Louie has served as CEO for the United States' two largest matchmaking companies serving over 50,000 clients. He has been featured as an expert matchmaker for shows on E! Entertainment Television, WeTV and the CW. He was also recently acknowledged as a top 5 worldwide matchmaker by both the International Dating Conference and the Matchmakers Alliance. Louie was also selected as one of America's top 10 Relationship Experts for the Great Love Debate National Tour.

Louie Felix

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

During your coaching, you'll probably uncover negative experiences from your clients' pasts. Part of helping them find the perfect match involves helping each person overcome any relationship fears that might stem from those experiences.
Question

How can I help someone figure out what they want in a partner?

Louie Felix
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Louie Felix is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker, and the founder and CEO of Matchmaking VIP, a company which provides concierge-level matchmaking services to clients around the world. He is also the COO of Agape Matchmaking based in New York City. With almost 16 years of professional matchmaking and dating coaching experience, Louie has served as CEO for the United States' two largest matchmaking companies serving over 50,000 clients. He has been featured as an expert matchmaker for shows on E! Entertainment Television, WeTV and the CW. He was also recently acknowledged as a top 5 worldwide matchmaker by both the International Dating Conference and the Matchmakers Alliance. Louie was also selected as one of America's top 10 Relationship Experts for the Great Love Debate National Tour.

Louie Felix

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

It's really helpful to look back over the person's past relationships. Ask questions that will help you learn what did and didn't work, and help the person learn to avoid the mistakes that cause that relationship to fail.

Warnings

Under no circumstances should you rely on Astrology alone to determine matches.

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Don't use matches to get back at people you dislike. This is a matter of other people's lives. You could disappoint people.

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